CockneyRebel's Blog
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posted at 02:21 pm on 05-20-2009
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WP is a democracy
posted at 02:21 pm on 05-20-2009
And I can talk about whatever I want.
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Postmodern London
posted at 07:41 am on 05-18-2009
I was just thinking about how bland London looks without Routemasters on the streets. Hopefully that might all change in two years. If the resurrected Routemaster looks like a Routemaster, than I'll be there in two years. If it looks like an iBUS, than at least I have all my buses that I can look at and touch. I'm hoping that a certain member doesn't magically appear because I've talked about things that a Cockney never talks about, and that is feelings.
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Weight is a personal thing
posted at 08:06 am on 04-11-2009
The reason that I weigh 245 and not 130, is because I'm comfortable at the size that I am, now. Some people might wonder why a woman would want to be big. I remember that two years ago, the week after Mother's Day, my mum wanted me to join Weight Watcher's. I've tried it for three weeks, only because she wanted me to lose the weight. I had to tell her to stop giving me the money. My size makes me feel powerful, and I do eat healthy and exercise. I love my food and my power.
Sid :O)
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The Reason I Was Bitching, This Morning.
posted at 02:25 pm on 12-08-2007
As you've all noticed, I've made some pretty sarcastic posts, this morning. I'm still mourning the demise of the Routemasters. I was bottling up all the things that I've been wanting to post about those buses, inside and acting like a dick, instead. I don't feel that it's safe for me to talk to many people about my obsessions, anymore. I think that it's ridiculous, that I feel that I need permission to post about the thing that I love, the most.
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Back to the Buses
posted at 11:53 pm on 10-02-2007
I've decided to go back to using a Routemaster for my avatar. I was experimenting with this all evening, and feels right for the first time in 7 months. It's a joy to see my favourite vehicle that also happens to be my favourite colour, with each post that I make.
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My mood is sad
posted at 01:51 pm on 06-30-2007
That's why I have Sad Sid as my avatar, today. I'll be typing my moods and the reasons that they influence the choice for my Avatar Of The Day. I've found out that my bank charged me over $100 dollars. I'll need to borrow that money.
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My Slim-Fast is NOT a choice.
posted at 10:30 am on 05-31-2007
I don't want anybody to jump to the conclusion that I have Anorexia, because in truth, I don't have that eating disorder. The reason that I've started drinking Slim-Fast over the past couple of weeks is because it gets fairly hot in Langley, between the late spring and the early autunm. I can't tolerate too many types of food in the summer. I get jealous of the rest of the members at my clubhouse, because I see them wolfing down their big lunches at lunchtime, and I can't even eat half of those portions on the hot days, without feeling really sick. Don't get me wrong. I'm happy at the size that I'm currently at. If I wasn't proud of being a Woman of Size, I wouldn't have Sid in my avatars, nor would I lovingly call myself that nickname in my Rank Title. I put myself on a $40 a week budget. I would buy some Gravol, but I only have $10 left out of this week's budget. Should I just buy the Gravol and order water for the rest of the week when I go out with my friends? Would that be worth it? I really love my food.
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I'm Not Going To My Mother's Place For Sunday Dinner
posted at 01:51 am on 05-19-2007
I will not be going to my mum's place for Sunday Dinner on Sunday. Not after what happened, on Mother's Day. Treating Sid like a disease and not giving me a hug, when my arms were stretched out was uncalled for, after hugging my slender sister, two times in a row. I've come over to walk Chico, twice this week. That's good enough for me. My mum won't even miss me.
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Can you swim?
posted at 12:25 am on 05-08-2007
I hate it when other members at my clubhouse ask me that question. I can't swim. I have a bowel problem. I think that I'll have to come up with a little white lie the next time another member asks if I can swim or if I'm a good swimmer. I can tell them that I'm allergic to chlorine, or that I have Athelete's Foot and it's contageous, or that I burn very easily. I can tell them a more table friendly truth, saying that I don't want to mess up my hair that I work hard to get how I like it to be. I wouldn't mind if people would ask me if I/m good at other summer activities.
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Please Don't Let It Be Another Delusion
posted at 08:06 am on 05-04-2007
I've noticed that I've softened up, over the past 14 days. I don't know how, or why. Maybe it's because I'm allowing myself to spend more time, here and therefore, my feelings and emotions are getting out of my system. Issues that I don't feel safe talking about, with people off the Internet. It's almost as though the Swinger lifestyle is becomming tempting. I've lost a good friend over this. We've become friends again, and that's why I claim to have mellowed. If the calling of the Swinger life is just a delusion, and I lose some WP friends over it, I'll never see past 1977, and I'll be hardened, forever. Please, Lord Jesus? Don't let the temptation to go back to the 1960s be another delusion. I can't afford to lose my favourite WP member, again! AAAhhhhh!
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I Want Revenge, But I'm Also Confused
posted at 04:30 am on 05-01-2007
I want revenge on some Staff person who was giving me a hard time. Perhaps my goal could be to beat her at bowling, every time that she's schedualed to take us, and I can give her a hard time. She had no right to say anything derogatory about my accent. I do not put it on, and the summer of 1987 was the first time that I've considered both suicide and running away. If I didn't take my life, I was going to run away to the Vancouver airport and sneak on a plane to London, England. I don't even know if I should waste my time, seeking revenge on her. Maybe it's people like her, that I shouldn't waste my time on. Here's a "Joke". How do you lose CockneyRebel as a friend? Presume that she puts on a Cockney Accent! I hate that bitch! She can rot and die in hell, for all I care.
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Living life in the ashes of my Modhood
posted at 08:31 am on 04-16-2007
As you all know, I was very fond of the mid 1960s and looking my best, durring my first two and a half years, here. It was back in February, that I've decided that I just don't care, anymore and I'd rather be the Cockneyish Rebel that I truly am. If I end up single, in the end, at least I'll be free to be who I truly am. It's nice not to be tied down to the hairbrush, or the dress clothes. I'm a jeans, t-shirt and leather person, now and I'm loving every waking minute of it. Oh, and sneakers don't hurt the soles of my feet anywhere as much as dress shoes do. I'm seriously thinking of getting my Beatle Boots bronzed...I think that I'm ready to make that bold move. I feel alive, now, living through the late 1970s. This ain't no Disco, either.
God Save The Queen! (Smile)
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My GST Cheque
posted at 08:53 am on 04-11-2007
I hope that my bloody GST cheque comes today. I was hoping that it would come, yesterday. I'm not going to spent the money on frivilous things. I'm going to be careful with that money and see if I can make most of it last, until the next time I get payed. I'm afraid that if I ask my parents for money, one more time that I will be forced to move back in with them. If I'm forced to live with my parents, I'll take my own life. I'd rather be dead, than live with my parents. I've developed too much individuality to pretend to be straight-laced like them.
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Feeling Better
posted at 04:40 pm on 03-24-2007
I'm feeling better than I was, this morning. I've cleaned the batherooms and mopped. I've also had a couple of apples and a big bottle of water. I think that I will delete my original story for today. I'd hate for too many people to see it.
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The Vancouver Flea Market
posted at 12:38 pm on 01-21-2007
I went to the Vancouver flea market with the usual Saturday crowd from my Clubhouse. There were five members and the two Saturday staff. Don't worry, we're high functioning, so they don't make us wear name tags. I was worming myself between all the tables, acting as casual as I could. All of the sudden, I've happened to spot some Routemasters in the corner, and my true colours started to show. I was hugging five of them, when the male staff person happened to see me, and tell me to stick with my favourite Bus. I've bought an EFE replica and a cheap Corgi one, as well. It was well worth it. I've only had money for a Soda Pop, but I did have some cake that was in the Clubhouse fridge, since Christmas, before we left, because it was free.
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Going Into Vancouver Gastown, today
posted at 10:44 am on 01-13-2007
I'm going to Gastown, today. My favourite place to go with the Saturday crowd, from my clubhouse. :) I'll have McDonald's for lunch, because I have cupons to share with everybody. Than I'll buy myself a mini Routemaster! :D I've decided that I don't need a man. I have all my Buses to keep me occupied. I don't need a man. I wish to live a life of freedom. I don't know what I'll be having for supper, tonight. Probably Shake n Bake chicken with the skin and mashed potatoes, as I don't need to lose any more weight, and chicken skin is a treat for me. I'll take a bath, after supper, phone my mum and listen to The Beatles until my 11:00 bedtime.
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It's been a little over a week, now!
posted at 02:30 pm on 11-14-2006
It's been a little over a week, since my Life of Freedom has really started. I really like my apartment and my independence. Most importantly, I like my freedom. I can come and go, as I please. I can cook dinner, the way I like it. I can enjoy a variety of exciting Dinners. I can spend the whole night on Wrong Planet if I like. I can put whatever I want in my Sketchbook! I can also go for a walk at 6 in the morning, without any questions. I know that I can get through a whole day, without being treated like an Idiot. I don't have to worry about that, anymore. I can eat the smaller portions that are required of the Weight Watchers programme and not get asked, "Do you feel full enough?" I have the comfort of knowing that even though the majority of the people I know don't want me to lose weight, that I do want to lose weight, and I will do anything possible to make my Goal a reality. There's been only one downfall. The oven part of my stove only works for a couple of nights, after it's fixed, and than it needs to get fixed, again. That doesn't matter, because I have the life of freedom that I've been waitng for. I even have the freedom to properly grieve the loss of my proper London Dream, around the 9th of every month, and I save my tears for the time around that particular date. I love my Life of Freedom. I'm free and that's the way that I'm going to stay. I've done everything independently, in order to get my apartment, minus a few of the phone calls. I don't feel the need to call myself The Bus Freak with the Cockney Accent, anymore. I reccomend that every Aspergian moves into their own home. Don't worry about hurting your parents' feelings. You won't, because they will understand that you need to grow up like the rest of the world does. I also reccomend that you keep very close ties with your parents, if they're not jerks. That's what I do, and it enriches my Social Circle that much more.
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Today's the Big Day!
posted at 11:04 am on 11-05-2006
Today will be the day that my big items will be moved! There will be four guys moving that stuff. I'm strong enough to help with that stuff. It's that my Dad doesn't think I am, and I do have a bad heel. I think it's my AS and my accent influences that thought. Anyways, today will be the happiest day of my life! Tomorrow will be my first full day of Freedom!
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Looking Forward to My Day Of Freedom.
posted at 10:39 pm on 10-17-2006
I'm still waiting to see when my Moving Day is going to be. I'm hoping that my Moving Day will be on the 26th of this month. I know that I will feel the high that only my future freedom will provide me with. I'm planning some 20 Point Menus. My goal is to have at least 30 of these menus typed out, by Moving Day. I plan to cook four different recipies a week, and freeze the leftovers, as I cook each batch.
As for my Personality, things can go either way. My Cockney Spirit could grow stronger, and I'd take the Bus out to the Cloverdale Flea Market, the Sunday before Cheque Day, and buy myself one Routemaster a month.
My Personality could also go in the opposite direction, and I might get myself bitten by the Hippie Bug, when I least expect it. If that's the case, than I could put that money towards a good Printer and a Corell painting programme, and do all types of funky Art and sell it.
It will be interesting to see how my Personality will turn out.
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Chores cause me to be in a Hippie Trance
posted at 10:58 pm on 10-11-2006
I've done two and a half hours of Chores, today. I was working like a dog. I was wondering why I was feeling so mellow, just a minute ago. Than it's occured to me! I go into a Hippie-like Trance, if I do more than an hour and a half of chores, on any given day. Even as I listen to my Lime Wire files, I'm finding that my usual favourites about London aren't doing a thing for me, while the stuff from the Late 1960s is making me High! I know. IT'S THE COFFEE! Coffee dulls my Cockney Spirit, so my Hippie Spirit comes back to the surface, as a result. I did have a cup of Coffee, this morning. Now the song, 'Bus Stop' by The Hollies is lifting me out of that Trance.
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A Freedom Update
posted at 07:22 am on 10-11-2006
I've gotten a call, two weeks ago. I've qualified for subsidized living and I have a Studio apartment waiting for me! I've gone to my appointment to see a room that looks something like it. It's a nice, little place. It has a big bathroom, though. I'll be able to have complete control over my enviornment! I could vaccum seven times a week. Seven times a week! I'm also typing out a Menu Plan that involves Weight Watchers entre's that I think I'll enjoy eating. I'm planing on eating 20 Points, every day of the week. Back to the cleaning, I'll be cleaning my bathroom three times a week, as well as dusting. I'll also be mopping, twice a week. I'll be sweeping, every day. I'll also disenfect my Kitchen with Lysol Wipes, after I prepare my last snack. Back to the food, I'm going to set very strict guidelines, as to which foods make it past my Apartment Door. I won't allow Ice Cream, Chocolate, Cake of any kind, Potatoe Crisps or Doritos to make it into my cupboards. If I want to spend a Dollar on something, than I should spend it on a $1 Scratch n Win, instead of Junkfood.
It will be interesting to see what turm my personality takes. I'll be living life at my own pace. Breakfast at Nine, Lunch at Twelve, a Snack at Three and Dinner at 6. Either my Cockney Spirit will grow, and I'll be spending half of my Bingo winnings on a couple of the larger scale Diecast Routemasters, or else I will feel very mellow, up to the point, where I WILL become a Flower Child. I don't see how my Cockney Spirit can be stronger than it already is, but it can grow.
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Hippie Delusions
posted at 07:15 am on 09-16-2006
I'm having delusions about becomming a Flower Child, again. I wonder why I've been having these delisions, lately? I surely can't be going into another Depression. That was over with, six years ago. It was six years ago that I've regained my interest in London, after being depressed for five years. I've even forwarded some predictions of how I'm supposedly going to be, by next summer, to my Clubhouse because I've thought that it would be such a wonderful idea. I could feel my Heart tighten up, seconds after I've E-Mailed my Predictions for the Summer of 2007. Words are like Toothpaste from a tube. Once they come out, you can't shove them back in.
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Periods do NOT agree with me.
posted at 06:21 pm on 09-15-2006
I always have a Bitch of a time, when I'm going through my Period. My hormones get out of whack and I don't feel welcome anywhere, but here. I don't have any energy to do much of anything, for the first three days. I also feel that I'm an appendage to the people that I'm around, most of the time.
I've even offered to pay my mom for taking me to Safeway with her, because I've felt like I was a bother, the whole time, even though I didn't do anything wrong. I was even apologizing to her, because I keep on having to repeat myself.
On a brighter note, I was just enjoying the downpour that we've just experienced. I feel free when it rains, because I know that it will be raining all the time, soon enough, and I could take Chico on two 15 minute walks, Midday and at 3:30 in the afternoon, and most of the Schoolagers will be locked inside.
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An Evening of Hope
posted at 04:26 am on 09-15-2006
I've gotten a call from BC Housing, yesterday evening, as I was eating my Dinner. I've picked up the phone and one of the workers at the Local Seniours Society has set up an appointment with me! I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I need to be moving forward in my own life. My appointment is next Thursday, at 10. She was going to book the appointment for 2 PM, next Tuesday, but for some mysterious reason, she's changed her mind and booked it for 10 AM, next Thursday. I'm just happy that there could be a possibility that I could be living on my own, very soon. Don't get me wrong. I do love my parents, even though I might not show it, all the time. I just want to move out, before next summer and start a new life for myself.
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CockneyRebel's Freedom Blog
posted at 06:39 pm on 09-14-2006
I've started my "Life of Freedom" two days ago, when I got home from Bowling. I've decided not to go to that Clubhouse, for a while. I'll quit for a while, in style by going to Victoria in the 28th of this month. I've decided that there are better places for me to be, than there.
This is how I've started my Life of Freedom. I've walked out of that prison for my second last time, in what will be two months. I've picked up my $200 Routemaster on the way home and I've been feeling free, every since that Taxi Ride home.
I've phoned the Perpritrator, yesterday morning, and I've told her that I won't be comming in, until the Victoria Trip and that I'll phone three days before I come in. I've told her that I need to live my own Life of Freedom.
Here I am, living my third day of freedom. I'm logged into this site right now, and I'll be looking at images of Routemasters, afterwards and nobody can stop me!
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