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Zeek
Sea Gull
Joined: Nov 06, 2009
Age: 14
Posts: 232
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 Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 11:06 pm Post subject: Afraid of eye contact? Click here for advice |
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My advice for if eye contact intimidates or scares you like it does me is just look at the whole face. If you look at it as a whole you don't find it scary (I don't at least) and it looks like you are making eye contact. Try it.
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buryuntime
oh comely
Joined: Dec 07, 2008
Posts: 1631
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| Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 11:50 pm Post subject: |
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| but looking at a whole picture like that is scary. |
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dustintorch
Velociraptor
Joined: May 04, 2009
Age: 23
Posts: 493
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| Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 12:49 am Post subject: |
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| That works for me. I've been doing it for years without even noticing. Usually I'll look at people's mouth. |
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Aqua_Dragon
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Sep 12, 2009
Posts: 32
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| Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 2:41 am Post subject: |
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I also prefer the mouth. Not only is it much easier to maintain contact of then the eyes, you also get to note some pretty interesting things about people's teeth  |
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Avarice
Velociraptor
Joined: Oct 06, 2009
Posts: 480
Location: Adelaide, Australia
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| Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 3:06 pm Post subject: |
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| I always look at the mouth, but I generally look at the floor or at what I'm doing rather than look at people. Eye contact is physically painful. |
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CockneyRebel
Mick Avory, ISFJ Sweet Pea
Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 35
Posts: 31412
Location: Somewhere between 1964 and 1984, on any given day.
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| Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 3:32 pm Post subject: |
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I look out the corners of my eyes, in that cute little way.
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MathGirl
Pragmatist
Joined: Apr 12, 2009
Age: 19
Posts: 1234
Location: Toronto, ON
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| Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 6:48 pm Post subject: |
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I can't help but focus on people's mouths. Except for when I think about making eye contact, I look at the person's mouth usually when they are talking. When I'm talking, my eyes wander about, usually looking at objects and not the people.
The good thing about looking at the conversation partner's mouth is that they often don't even see where you are looking, and think that you're still making eye contact. It's worked for me so far.
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gemstone123
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 22, 2008
Posts: 583
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| Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 7:35 pm Post subject: |
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I try to force myself for very short burst to look straight at people. I've gotten a lot better at it than I was but I still can't help my eyes from roaming around constantly.  |
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MathGirl
Pragmatist
Joined: Apr 12, 2009
Age: 19
Posts: 1234
Location: Toronto, ON
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| Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 7:40 pm Post subject: |
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| gemstone123 wrote: | | I try to force myself for very short burst to look straight at people. I've gotten a lot better at it than I was but I still can't help my eyes from roaming around constantly. |
Yup, that's what I do, too. I can't sustain eye contact for more than 2 seconds at most. I just have to look away.
I've found that eye contact is essential when starting a conversation with someone. Once the ball gets rolling, eye contact is not required that much anymore. That's when I do it in short bursts, every once in a while.
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"Don't let schooling interfere with your education." - Mark Twain
I have 1234 posts. A very neat number. I don't feel like messing it up. My excuse to take a break from the forums. |
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SymphonyNo9
Butterfly
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Joined: Nov 13, 2009
Age: 20
Posts: 11
Location: England
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| Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 4:50 pm Post subject: |
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I find this difficult. When speaking to someone I'm unfamiliar with one-on-one, I don't know whether to look directly at them, how long to do this for, which eye to look into (I find I can't really look at both). I'll usually end up looking at them for a bit, looking down, to the side, at something else, then back at them and so on.
The other day I was asked to work in a group with people. They all seemed to know each other already, and I was trying my utmost to give eye contact but none of them would return it. They would look at each other but not me, as if they were ignoring me. It was awkward to say the least. |
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Francis
Sea Gull
Joined: Jul 07, 2009
Posts: 229
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| Posted: Mon Nov 16, 2009 10:51 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm going to try that idea. Thanks. |
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Lepus
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Nov 05, 2009
Posts: 62
Location: England
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| Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 8:02 am Post subject: |
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| I tend to look at peoples mouths when I'm speaking to them if I have to focus on them rather than something I'm talking about. I find that it not only helps with avoiding eye contact but it also helps me follow what they are saying better because I lip-read a bit and I can see what they are saying as well as just listening to it. |
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SaintStephen
Emu Egg
Joined: Nov 10, 2009
Age: 19
Posts: 7
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| Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 4:19 pm Post subject: |
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| If i'm in deep thought, or really any thought (which is in every conversation I have) I just can't look into their eyes. My eyes are wandering about, daydreaming. I just can't concentrate when I am looking in one spot. I have tweaked it a bit though, once I have an idea then I would look at them, then away once i have to think again. |
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zombiecide
Snowy Owl
Joined: Sep 17, 2009
Age: 26
Posts: 134
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| Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2009 6:00 pm Post subject: |
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| Normal is letting one's gaze wander from one eye to the other to the nose and back. I try to do that, but too often end up looking away because it feels so ... aggressive to me. |
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