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antemeridiem
Hummingbird
Joined: Nov 25, 2008
Posts: 19
Location: U.K
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 Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 9:03 am Post subject: |
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| I have the exact same problem. When my grandad died I kept going upstairs and putting water in my eyes so I'd look like I was crying because everyone else was upset and I felt like there was something wrong with me because I wasn't. If my pets die I'm devastated. I also dread the idea of something happening to my mum. I've spoke to a psychotherapist about it but it didn't help as they thought it was funny that I planned funerals and worried that if my mum wasn't cremated she might get burried alive. If anyone knows any ways to stop worrying about my mum dying I'd love to hear them as it stops me sleeping at night. |
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i_wanna_blue
Hulaballoo
Joined: Aug 10, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 5180
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| Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 9:15 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | If anyone knows any ways to stop worrying about my mum dying I'd love to hear them as it stops me sleeping at night. |
Unfortunately as we all know death is inevitable. Knowing that I will lose someone as my mom is just too unbearable to think about, I just push it to the back of my mind. The reason I suppose I would feel emotion for my mom as opposed to anyone else is the fact that we are emotionally connected. We have a bond and I don't share that with just about anyone else. I guess if this is the same with you, ending that bond might allow you to stop worrying about the loss. But I don't want to end my bond and I'm sure you wouldn't want to either. Not much advice, but it's all I have.
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Booyakasha
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Oct 07, 2009
Age: 28
Posts: 44
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| Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 9:23 am Post subject: |
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No, I don't get upset over people dieing, or pets dieing...
I feel completely detached though I do care about some people. |
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Maggiedoll
Loon
Joined: Jun 05, 2009
Age: 25
Posts: 1663
Location: Maryland
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| Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 10:01 am Post subject: Re: Do you get upset when people die? |
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| southwestforests wrote: | | It is kind of a mixed thing though, it is almost a relief when it is someone in great suffering from illnesses. |
That too.. Someone suffering a lot from a terminal illness and wanting to die seems sadder than them finally dying. But I think in that case, you kinda mourn them before they die.
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antemeridiem
Hummingbird
Joined: Nov 25, 2008
Posts: 19
Location: U.K
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| Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 10:18 am Post subject: |
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| With my mum its a mix as we have a connection that I know I can't make with anyone else but I also rely on her heavily. I have a very unsupportive family and my mum is the only one who's there for me so I would miss her on an emotional and physical level. Other than my mum the only other living things I connect with are my pets and that takes a very long time to make a bond. I usually have more attachment to inanimate objects. If someone damages something I feel bad for it the same as normal people do if I person gets hurt. |
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Booyakasha
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Oct 07, 2009
Age: 28
Posts: 44
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| Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 11:08 am Post subject: |
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| antemeridiem wrote: | | I usually have more attachment to inanimate objects. If someone damages something I feel bad for it the same as normal people do if I person gets hurt. |
Ditto that. I can never watch people destroying some items, I always sympathise with them. Same thing with trees, flowers etc.
Last edited by Booyakasha on Sat Nov 07, 2009 1:09 pm; edited 2 times in total |
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david_42
Sea Gull
Joined: Oct 19, 2009
Posts: 211
Location: PNW, USA
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| Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 12:06 pm Post subject: |
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| Depends on the person. I've had three friends and my brother die in the last few years. One friend's death bothered me a great deal, two - no reaction, and I was happy to hear about my brother. |
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Azharia
Deinonychus
Joined: Jan 05, 2008
Age: 26
Posts: 334
Location: Cork, Ireland
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| Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 4:20 pm Post subject: |
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I am devestated at deaths, and for a long time after. Even thinking years after of a lost loved one tears me up. Same for pets.  |
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YoshiPikachu
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jul 31, 2009
Age: 18
Posts: 126
Location: Minnesota
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| Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 4:28 pm Post subject: |
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If it was someone I know and love that dies then yes, but if it someone I never knew then no. When my mom's mom died I didn't cry becuase I never knew her, and I am glad that I didn't becuase I have not heard good thing about her. I have never had a pet die but thing about it makes me want to cry.
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AceOfSpades
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 12, 2006
Age: 18
Posts: 460
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| Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 4:58 pm Post subject: Re: Do you get upset when people die? |
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| roygerdodger wrote: | | For some strange reason, I don't get sad over people's deaths, not even from my own family, friends, or especially celebrities, but I still pay my tributes to them, though. |
How absorbed are you by your obsessions? How much do they isolate you from other people?
If you don't have enough memories of good conversations, time spent together and such, then that might be why you don't feel sad about them being dead. If your mind is preoccupied with your obsessions, and your obsessions happen to be both intense and isolate you from everyone else, then other people aren't gonna be a huge loss. |
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ruveyn
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 22, 2008
Age: 73
Posts: 4795
Location: New Jersey
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| Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 5:47 pm Post subject: |
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Sometimes yes and sometimes no. It depends who, and how they died.
ruveyn |
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iSpy
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jul 16, 2009
Age: 36
Posts: 36
Location: On this Planet
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| Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 6:34 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Do you get upset when people die? |
No I do not.
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MathGirl
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 12, 2009
Age: 18
Posts: 752
Location: Toronto, ON
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| Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 6:39 pm Post subject: |
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Strangely enough, I don't get upset when people die, but it always would upset me deeply when an animal died. I remember bursting into tears when a dog got hit by a car on the street. When my grandfather died (when I was five), I didn't cry at all in the beginning, but later on I've realized that he's not there anymore and how much I've missed him, and I sobbed for a while all by myself in my room, recalling the happy moments we have spent together. I'd say that I was even closer to him than I've ever been to my mom. My crying over my grandfather, however, was not as intense as my crying for that dog on the street.
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CerebralDreamer
Deinonychus
Joined: Dec 23, 2008
Posts: 382
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| Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 2:58 am Post subject: |
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It bothers me when people die, but I don't always know how to express it. I usually end up shutting down. One of the things I still hold a grudge about has to do with my grandmother's funeral. I just wanted to sit there for a while, by her grave, to try and make sense out of everything that just happened.
When they refused, and had me get in the car, it was frustrating. I'm still upset about it, particularly how my grandfather reacted after her death, but she was the one person I could trust, depend on. Now I'm hesitant to rely on anyone. |
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TheDoctor82
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 29, 2008
Age: 27
Posts: 951
Location: Sandusky, Ohio
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| Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 3:15 am Post subject: |
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| CerebralDreamer wrote: | It bothers me when people die, but I don't always know how to express it. I usually end up shutting down. One of the things I still hold a grudge about has to do with my grandmother's funeral. I just wanted to sit there for a while, by her grave, to try and make sense out of everything that just happened.
When they refused, and had me get in the car, it was frustrating. I'm still upset about it, particularly how my grandfather reacted after her death, but she was the one person I could trust, depend on. Now I'm hesitant to rely on anyone. |
I understand how ya feel; the death of a particular relative on my Dad's side pretty much marked the final person I liked of his family. With my Aunt Adele gone, there really is no chemistry between me and my family; I don't like them, and they don't like me.
I talk to some occasionally and have a few on Facebook, but we don't really communicate too much. |
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