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Praetor2379
Toucan
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Joined: Mar 15, 2007
Age: 21
Posts: 287
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 Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 3:28 pm Post subject: I found out my co-worker has a crush on me |
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Another co-worker of mine asked me today if something was going on between me and Lizzy (not using her real name online for obvious reasons). I was curious and replied to my co-worker "no", then I asked why she was inquiring. She told me that Lizzy has been talking about me. Lizzy asked my friend if she thinks I like her, and if I want to go out with her. Lizzy told my friend she thinks I like her, which is true. Lizzy always sits with me during her break at work too, and she calls me honey and other sweet things. She also said to ym friend, oh we talk alot at work and he added me to facebook. My friend asked Lizzy is she wanted to go out with me, but she said she wasn't sure. Lizzy said that she has issues that she doesn't want to drag me into. She also said she doesn't have much luck in relationships, and her previous relationships haven't ended well. her last boyfriend caused her tons of stress and anxeity, and overall didn't respond to her needs.
I know that Lizzy has anxiety issues, as her and I have discussed our similar issues (she does not know, though, that I have AS). I am not sure though what her issues are, since I haven't prided myself into her business. My friend has told me that Lizzy likes me too, but it seems she has something going on in her life that I am not aware of. The question now comes to this: where do I go from here?
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grain-and-field
Deinonychus
Joined: Mar 08, 2008
Posts: 354
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| Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 3:59 pm Post subject: Re: I found out my co-worker has a crush on me |
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| Praetor2379 wrote: | | The question now comes to this: where do I go from here? |
Nowhere, It´s obvious that she´s just "playing" with you. This girl, "lizzie", she just wanna know how much you like her. So she sends her friend to talk to you about it, find out some info. And why would she have a crush on you? I mean, there is no real indications of that. She comes up with excuses why she won´t go out with you...
No offense, it´s just the way I see it...there are so many holes in this story. You can´t argue that she added you on facebook, or that she calls you "honey". If anything, it just supports my theory that she´s just playing. |
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j5689
Sea Gull
Joined: Dec 23, 2008
Age: 17
Posts: 242
Location: Bowie, Maryland, U.S.
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| Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 4:49 pm Post subject: Re: I found out my co-worker has a crush on me |
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| grain-and-field wrote: | | Praetor2379 wrote: | | The question now comes to this: where do I go from here? |
Nowhere, It´s obvious that she´s just "playing" with you. This girl, "lizzie", she just wanna know how much you like her. So she sends her friend to talk to you about it, find out some info. And why would she have a crush on you? I mean, there is no real indications of that. She comes up with excuses why she won´t go out with you...
No offense, it´s just the way I see it...there are so many holes in this story. You can´t argue that she added you on facebook, or that she calls you "honey". If anything, it just supports my theory that she´s just playing. |
Which in turn supports KenM's theory that women just like to screw with people in every way but literally. |
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David1981
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Feb 23, 2006
Age: 28
Posts: 192
Location: Québec, Canada
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| Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 6:42 pm Post subject: |
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Maybe 'Lizzy' as Asperger's as well and is too shy to tell you her feelings? Perhaps she wants you to make the first move?
If there is some mind games going on, it is probably the so-called friend. In high schools, girls would often have fun at my expense by saying "[Insert Name Here] likes you." as part of joking around.
Those are the only possible reasons that I can think of. |
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Pobodys_Nerfect
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 11, 2008
Posts: 638
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 6:45 pm Post subject: |
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| I've been through this crap and they can get really nasty. I think the playing starts when they wonder why you haven't made a move more than friends. From my experience, I think you need to ask her out or stop being friends with her before she gets nasty and thinks she's been scorned. |
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David1981
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Feb 23, 2006
Age: 28
Posts: 192
Location: Québec, Canada
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| Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 6:53 pm Post subject: |
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| Pobodys_Nerfect wrote: | | I've been through this crap and they can get really nasty. I think the playing starts when they wonder why you haven't made a move more than friends. From my experience, I think you need to ask her out or stop being friends with her before she gets nasty and thinks she's been scorned. |
I was always perplexed as to why it is considered taboo for women to make the first move? If I like a girl, I am too timid to actually ask her out. If she asked me out, I would at least have the nerve to utter a simple 'yes'.
Why all the drama? All these arcane rules of dating and socialisation is enough to make the goddess Discordia blush with embarrassment!  |
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superboyian
Dynasty Warriors Kid!!
Joined: Sep 10, 2009
Age: 18
Posts: 8985
Location: London
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| Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 7:32 pm Post subject: |
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Congrats  I would think that you should take chance and go with her and i'd probably suggest that you tell her that you have aspergers but I wouldn't be sure if it seems like a good idea... or maybe ask her if you have feelings for her or tell her how you feel about her, she might say the same thing back, good luck 
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ToadOfSteel
Living in fantasy
Joined: Sep 24, 2007
Age: 22
Posts: 5326
Location: New Jersey
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| Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 7:40 pm Post subject: |
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| superboyian wrote: | | Congrats I would think that you should take chance and go with her and i'd probably suggest that you tell her that you have aspergers but I wouldn't be sure if it seems like a good idea... or maybe ask her if you have feelings for her or tell her how you feel about her, she might say the same thing back, good luck |
Just check your employer's policy on dating coworkers... that can get you fired real fast if they have strict anti-fraternization policies...
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makuranososhi
Purple Monkey Dishwasher
Joined: May 13, 2008
Posts: 6198
Location: Transitional
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| Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 8:08 pm Post subject: Re: I found out my co-worker has a crush on me |
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| Praetor2379 wrote: | Another co-worker of mine asked me today if something was going on between me and Lizzy (not using her real name online for obvious reasons). I was curious and replied to my co-worker "no", then I asked why she was inquiring. She told me that Lizzy has been talking about me. Lizzy asked my friend if she thinks I like her, and if I want to go out with her. Lizzy told my friend she thinks I like her, which is true. Lizzy always sits with me during her break at work too, and she calls me honey and other sweet things. She also said to ym friend, oh we talk alot at work and he added me to facebook. My friend asked Lizzy is she wanted to go out with me, but she said she wasn't sure. Lizzy said that she has issues that she doesn't want to drag me into. She also said she doesn't have much luck in relationships, and her previous relationships haven't ended well. her last boyfriend caused her tons of stress and anxeity, and overall didn't respond to her needs.
I know that Lizzy has anxiety issues, as her and I have discussed our similar issues (she does not know, though, that I have AS). I am not sure though what her issues are, since I haven't prided myself into her business. My friend has told me that Lizzy likes me too, but it seems she has something going on in her life that I am not aware of. The question now comes to this: where do I go from here? |
I cannot agree with grain-and-field or j5689 on this subject; while I do not dispute the personal experiences that may have led to those impressions, to insist that that it is a matter of mind games. The worst that can happen is she is not interested; the best, that there is an opportunity. If you're interested, invite her to spend some time doing something you both enjoy. Take it easy, and try not to have expectations - those are a killer, more times than not.
M.
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Praetor2379
Toucan
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Joined: Mar 15, 2007
Age: 21
Posts: 287
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| Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 9:18 pm Post subject: |
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Perhaps I should have provided more imformation before hand. My friend isn't playing with my feelings; we\re too close for her to do that. She has helped me out with many problems I've had in the past, so she wouldn't do that to me. Neither would the girl who I think has a crush on me. Until my friend told me, I had no idea she was intersted. Its occured to me that Lizzie might have AS; she certainly has AS-traits, but I don't think she has the actual disorder. She does have an anxeital disorder that she's on mdeication for. The reason I ask if I should ask her out is because I know I am not being played. Also too, we are not in highschool; were all in college/university now.
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HopeGrows
Velociraptor
Joined: Nov 06, 2009
Posts: 429
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| Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 11:26 pm Post subject: |
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I think the friend who spoke with you is really trying to help - why don't you ask her for her advice? Just be straight with her and tell her you'd like to date Lizzie, and ask her if she thinks Lizzie would be okay with you asking her out. I know she kinda, sorta answered that question, but if you open up to her a little about your true feelings for Lizzie and ask for a little more advice and/or intervention, she'll probably offer any help she can.
If your friend can't give you any more info and/or ideas about how to approach Lizzie, I suggest that you still approach her. There's no guarantee that she'll accept a date, but you both seem to like each other - why not give it a shot? Good luck. |
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Praetor2379
Toucan
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Age: 21
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| Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2009 11:58 am Post subject: |
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So, I have a bit of an update. yesterday my friend from work told me that Libby wanted her to tell me that she met a guy at school and now there dating. She said she really liked this guy for a long time and didn't think he would ever ask her out. Apperently he's really hot.
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FaithHopeCheese
Phoenix
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Joined: Oct 18, 2009
Posts: 534
Location: I think I'm lost
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| Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2009 12:51 pm Post subject: |
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This whole situation annoys me. Tell the friend to mind her own business and let Lizzie speak for herself....in a nice way, if you can muster it. 
Also, I don't trust people that call people honey and sweetie unless they are actually in a romantic relationship with the person. It seems phony and I think it is meant to be disarming.
HA I think I'm getting so pissed because these are the girls who always get the guys. lol
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Last edited by FaithHopeCheese on Sun Nov 29, 2009 1:05 pm; edited 3 times in total |
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Homer_Bob
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 06, 2009
Age: 21
Posts: 848
Location: Massachusetts
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| Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2009 12:53 pm Post subject: |
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| In my honest opinion, going out with a co-worker just isn't a good idea. You don't need that kind of drama in your job, it's distracting and if things don't go well it will make your job worse. Have some co-workers liked me? A few have in a strange way but I've never had anything to do with them and I plan to keep it that way. There are better places to meet people. |
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Praetor2379
Toucan
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Age: 21
Posts: 287
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| Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2009 2:26 pm Post subject: |
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Libby went on a date last night but it didn't go well for her. She said the guy she went with told her that he was in love with her best friend, and she's really mad. She thinks he was just using her to make her friend jealous. We have a Christmas party coming up and Libby will be driving me home; it will just be me and her. All my coworkers have told me she wants to drive me, so I think I am going to ask her to the movies or something.
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