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LordoftheMonkeys
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Aug 16, 2009
Age: 20
Posts: 184
Location: Inside my own head
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 Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 1:29 pm Post subject: Anyone else experienced sexual bullying? |
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| There was a girl in high school who pretended to be sexually attracted to me. She was always talking dirty to me and touching me sexually, even though I made it perfectly clear that it was not okay. She wasn't even attracted to me, she just did it to humiliate me. It made me feel really depressed afterward and it lowered my self esteem, because I saw how much people hated me, how little respect they had for me. I'm pissed off at her now, and at everyone else who picked on me because I was different, even though they're not in my life anymore. |
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gina-ghettoprincess
Last of my kind
Joined: Nov 09, 2008
Posts: 2812
Location: The Town That Time Forgot (UK)
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| Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 1:41 pm Post subject: |
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People have done this to me A LOT. This is part of the reason I've never dated anyone (though I am only 14), because whenever someone asks me out I can never tell if they're serious or if they're just taking the mick, so I assume the latter.
_________________
'Tvoi plastinki slushala ja,
I v kazhdoy nahodila sebja,
Zachem ostanovila menja?
Eva ja ljubila tebja...' |
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Aimless
O Fleshy And Ambitionless
Joined: Apr 02, 2009
Posts: 3427
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| Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 1:54 pm Post subject: |
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| People like that lack empathy and how ironic is that? I will never understand why some people get pleasure from someone else's pain. |
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caissa
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Nov 07, 2009
Posts: 36
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| Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 2:01 pm Post subject: |
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| I experienced this a lot, especially in middle school. |
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Aimless
O Fleshy And Ambitionless
Joined: Apr 02, 2009
Posts: 3427
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| Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 2:06 pm Post subject: |
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| Why don't they teach social skills in school? |
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pineapple
Velociraptor
Joined: May 01, 2006
Age: 25
Posts: 494
Location: redwood city, ca
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| Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 2:14 pm Post subject: |
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I wouldn't call that "bullying", but sexual assault or harassment. If I were you, I would look and see if your school has a policy on sexual harassment-- it probably does-- and then tell the relevant authorities what's going on. Sexual harassment is generally considered much more severe than "regular" harassment, so I think there is a good chance that something could be done about this. I hope things get better for you soon.
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asexy beast, the blog ------> http://theonepercentclub.blogspot.com |
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elderwanda
Lemon Zing
Joined: Nov 18, 2008
Age: 42
Posts: 1417
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
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| Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 2:15 pm Post subject: Re: Anyone else experienced sexual bullying? |
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| LordoftheMonkeys wrote: | | There was a girl in high school who pretended to be sexually attracted to me. She was always talking dirty to me and touching me sexually, even though I made it perfectly clear that it was not okay. She wasn't even attracted to me, she just did it to humiliate me. It made me feel really depressed afterward and it lowered my self esteem, because I saw how much people hated me, how little respect they had for me. I'm pissed off at her now, and at everyone else who picked on me because I was different, even though they're not in my life anymore. |
I think that kind of behavior is something that young people (usually young people) do because they themselves are unsure of their sexuality, and trying out what they can and can't get away with. That girl used you as an object for her to practice acting in a sexual, slutty way, without any risk to herself. In other words, the core of the problem is within her, not you. She (and the inevitable girlfriends who probably giggled hysterically along with her) was the one who acted like a twonk and should be ashamed of herself. You may have been geeky and different, but high school girls who do that kind of stuff are being awkward in their own way. Years from now, she'll look back and go, "Oh, god, I can't believe what a jerk I was to that guy! I was so immature, and must have looked like an idiot."
Or not. |
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Lene
Charizard
Joined: Nov 28, 2007
Age: 24
Posts: 1357
Location: Manchester
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| Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 4:13 pm Post subject: Re: Anyone else experienced sexual bullying? |
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| LordoftheMonkeys wrote: | | There was a girl in high school who pretended to be sexually attracted to me. She was always talking dirty to me and touching me sexually, even though I made it perfectly clear that it was not okay. She wasn't even attracted to me, she just did it to humiliate me. It made me feel really depressed afterward and it lowered my self esteem, because I saw how much people hated me, how little respect they had for me. I'm pissed off at her now, and at everyone else who picked on me because I was different, even though they're not in my life anymore. |
Thank god, no, I've never gone through that. The closest I've had to deal with is my ex making obscene 'jokes' about me after we broke up; not the same league at all, but the feelings of humiliation sound familiar.
Thing is, she probably doesn't even remember it, or if she does, probably thinks of it as a 'silly little high school prank'; she'll probably never think twice about the effects her actions had on you. People like that just don't.
I'm not saying this to make you feel worse; I'm just trying to say that you will never get vengeance on them, no matter how angry you stay,. The only postive thing you can do is put
it behind you, forget it and let the wounds heal. |
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curtis122
Raven
Joined: Nov 05, 2009
Age: 19
Posts: 110
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| Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 5:20 pm Post subject: |
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I know how you feel.Sometimes people in my class pretend to be attracted to me like saying things like "your so hot" in a sarcastic way . Somtimes I find it a little confusing and I question if they really are being genuine. I guess in these situations what I want to happen and what is happening can get confused due to the fact im looking for something so I guess (depending on my mood) I preserve it because I would like that to happen so badly.
I have come across your situation a couple of times in my life and I just play along with the verbalitys they generally stop. However when things get physicle I guess that harder. |
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FaithHopeCheese
Phoenix
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Joined: Oct 18, 2009
Posts: 534
Location: I think I'm lost
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| Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 6:28 pm Post subject: Re: Anyone else experienced sexual bullying? |
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| LordoftheMonkeys wrote: | | There was a girl in high school who pretended to be sexually attracted to me. She was always talking dirty to me and touching me sexually, even though I made it perfectly clear that it was not okay. She wasn't even attracted to me, she just did it to humiliate me. It made me feel really depressed afterward and it lowered my self esteem, because I saw how much people hated me, how little respect they had for me. I'm pissed off at her now, and at everyone else who picked on me because I was different, even though they're not in my life anymore. |
What you went through sounds horrible. Maybe it is good that you are angry at her now, rather than depressed and blaming yourself for it. I'm also wondering if maybe she was attracted to you, but didn't know how to handle it, because you weren't in the clique she was in. You didn't deserve to be treated like that and I don't believe the other people hated you. The lack of respect they showed only represents the lack of expectations (and respect) that they had for themselves. I understand how you would feel a sense of loss from it, though. You lost out on a lot, from the sound of it, and I think that is what you are reacting to, rather than just some dumb girl. Try to focus on what you want to make out of your future. Don't let the ghosts haunt you. 
_________________
Get me out of here! |
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elderwanda
Lemon Zing
Joined: Nov 18, 2008
Age: 42
Posts: 1417
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
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| Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 12:30 am Post subject: |
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| pineapple wrote: | | I wouldn't call that "bullying", but sexual assault or harassment. If I were you, I would look and see if your school has a policy on sexual harassment-- it probably does-- and then tell the relevant authorities what's going on. Sexual harassment is generally considered much more severe than "regular" harassment, so I think there is a good chance that something could be done about this. I hope things get better for you soon. |
When I responded, I hadn't even considered that, but you are absolutely right. It is sexual harrassment, and is probably not tolerated at school. |
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hale_bopp
All Kinds of Freak
Joined: Nov 03, 2004
Age: 25
Posts: 7537
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 4:25 am Post subject: |
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Yeah people have pretended to like me so they could "get my hopes up then hurt me" but they obviously thought I was stupider than I am I totally didn't buy it or care, lol.
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The www will take you to paradise. |
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Tory_canuck
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 09, 2009
Age: 24
Posts: 1197
Location: Red Deer, Alberta, Canada
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| Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 4:58 am Post subject: |
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| elderwanda wrote: | | pineapple wrote: | | I wouldn't call that "bullying", but sexual assault or harassment. If I were you, I would look and see if your school has a policy on sexual harassment-- it probably does-- and then tell the relevant authorities what's going on. Sexual harassment is generally considered much more severe than "regular" harassment, so I think there is a good chance that something could be done about this. I hope things get better for you soon. |
When I responded, I hadn't even considered that, but you are absolutely right. It is sexual harrassment, and is probably not tolerated at school. |
It is also a hybrid offence (summary conviction or indictable depending on how crpwn prosecutor wants ot pursue it). You can file criminal charges against her.You did tell her to stop but it continued so there is a guilty mind (mens rea) and she did do it (actus reus).It can be considered sexual assault because of this pursuant to the criminal code.
_________________
Honour over deciet, merit over luck, courage over popularity, duty over entitlement...dont let the cliques fool you for they have no honour...only superficial deceit.
ALBERTAN...and DAMN PROUD OF IT!!
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Tory_canuck
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 09, 2009
Age: 24
Posts: 1197
Location: Red Deer, Alberta, Canada
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| Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 5:00 am Post subject: |
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and those who egged her on and/or ridiculed you because of it, can be criminally charged with aiding and abetting.
_________________
Honour over deciet, merit over luck, courage over popularity, duty over entitlement...dont let the cliques fool you for they have no honour...only superficial deceit.
ALBERTAN...and DAMN PROUD OF IT!!
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Phipe
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jul 29, 2009
Age: 15
Posts: 72
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| Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2009 4:07 am Post subject: |
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| Well, our school made a theatre, and one of the guys played a woman in it. No, he did not get bullied, but rather he flirted with everyone else as he weared the dress and a blond wig. |
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