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Fatal-Noogie
Sea Gull
Joined: Oct 29, 2007
Age: 23
Posts: 200
Location: San Luis Obispo, California, United States of America, Earth, Solar System, Milky Way
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 Posted: Sat May 30, 2009 6:13 pm Post subject: Does my plan make any sense? |
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I did a favor for a friend (drew a logo for his website), so he agreed to buy me lunch tomorrow.
Also tomorrow, I have a club meeting at noon.
In this club, there's this woman who I've known for about a year, who I admire greatly, and who broke up with her boyfriend about a month ago. (It wasn't a sad breakup. Come to think of it, I've never seen her sad.) Anyway, I want to ask her out, so I'm wondering if the following plan makes any sense:
After the club meeting, I'll tell her a friend owes me a free lunch, and ask her if she wants to come with me, and I'll buy her lunch, and introduce her to my friend.
Is that too weird? Should I ask her if she wants to grab dinner with me instead?
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Curiosity is the greatest virtue. |
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anna-banana
indifferent peapod
Joined: Aug 31, 2008
Age: 26
Posts: 5370
Location: Europe
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| Posted: Sat May 30, 2009 6:19 pm Post subject: |
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the question is- does the friend make you look better by comparison? 
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not a bug - a feature.
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gbollard
K’Anpo no... Cho-Je... whatever.
Joined: Oct 06, 2007
Age: 40
Posts: 4408
Location: Sydney, Australia
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| Posted: Sat May 30, 2009 7:58 pm Post subject: |
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It sounds like you're trying to set her up with somebody.
If you're interested in her yourself, you probably should tell her that - or hint at it somehow.
How exactly you do that would depend on the type of person she is.
You might say "Don't worry, I'm not trying to introduce you to someone, I'd rather keep you for myself" but it really depends on the person. Perhaps a girl can help you with the words - if you describe the person.
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Gavin.
http://life-with-aspergers.blogspot.com/ |
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Fatal-Noogie
Sea Gull
Joined: Oct 29, 2007
Age: 23
Posts: 200
Location: San Luis Obispo, California, United States of America, Earth, Solar System, Milky Way
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| Posted: Sat May 30, 2009 8:55 pm Post subject: |
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| gbollard wrote: | | It sounds like you're trying to set her up with somebody. |
haha. Yes, I guess it would sound that way. My rationale would be that my offer to spend a meal with her would seem less awkward if put in the context that a friend would do the same for me.
There is, however, a dilemma. She's a bilingual history major, and outspoken political activist, and my friend is a motorcycle-riding, electrical engineer roboticist. Consequently, I will have a hard time finding topics of conversation that all 3 of us can participate in.
She broke up with her previous boyfriend because he was too irresponsible. I do a lot of engineering work for my friend, so my conversation with him would reveal to her that I'm a hard-working, responsible person.
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Curiosity is the greatest virtue. |
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DonkeyBuster
Phoenix
Joined: May 12, 2009
Age: 51
Posts: 866
Location: New Mexico, USA
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| Posted: Sat May 30, 2009 9:19 pm Post subject: |
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No, if you're interested in her, set things up so the two of you can spend some time one-on-one to get to know each other better. Maybe not a meal, maybe a hike or a museum or a demonstration... just the two of you.
That sends a much clearer message and cuts down on conversational confusion and possible competition.
Unless you're trying for a menage a trois... |
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Fatal-Noogie
Sea Gull
Joined: Oct 29, 2007
Age: 23
Posts: 200
Location: San Luis Obispo, California, United States of America, Earth, Solar System, Milky Way
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| Posted: Sun May 31, 2009 2:13 am Post subject: |
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| DonkeyBuster wrote: | | Unless you're trying for a menage a trois... |
lol, NO.
Actually, one of my motivations was to save time, but now new obligations have arizen (aroze?), which mean I may need to decline my friend's invitation, skip the club meeting, and abandon my intention to do something with her this weekend. Work sux.
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Curiosity is the greatest virtue. |
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DonkeyBuster
Phoenix
Joined: May 12, 2009
Age: 51
Posts: 866
Location: New Mexico, USA
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| Posted: Sun May 31, 2009 8:48 am Post subject: |
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 ...arisen
Call her and tell her you'd like to get together and do something, don't be lame-o. You'll probably be able to tell from her answer if your interest is reciprocated.
I find it a lot easier to carry on a conversation with someone I don't know well if we are actually engaged in a mutual interest... that's why I said hiking, museum, or demonstration. Dinner conversations stall me out until we've got shared history.
But maybe that's just me...  |
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Hector
Frankie Teardrop
Joined: Mar 11, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 2010
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| Posted: Sun May 31, 2009 9:56 am Post subject: |
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Don't do it. If anything, it may come across that you're trying to set her up with your friend.
Just ask her out. It doesn't have to be anything too special or too fancy. |
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Pugly
Man-child diligently becoming a Dude, man
Joined: Jan 10, 2005
Age: 27
Posts: 2807
Location: Wisconsin
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| Posted: Sun May 31, 2009 12:14 pm Post subject: |
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One of the biggest hurdles that I have to learn, is that people do get together and do stuff and it's not weird at all. No tricks, no surprises, no ulterior motives... just people getting together because they enjoy each other.
So just ask her directly to do something.
(I'm still learning this, and become very hesitant... but you just have to explain to yourself that you're not doing anything weird.)
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Wonder what it feels like to be in love?
How would you describe it, like a push or shove?
Guess I could pretend that this is all I need
Wanting more than what I have might appear as greed. |
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computerlove
Shigeo Fukuda 2009 :(
Joined: Jul 11, 2006
Posts: 5841
Location: Male, Mexico, Graphic Design
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| Posted: Sun May 31, 2009 2:40 pm Post subject: |
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| Pugly wrote: | just ask her directly to do something.
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what the guy in the mexican sombrero said.
If she says yes, fine, if not, forget her and move on to find another girl.
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One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. |
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MR_BOGAN
Mysterios Dirty Dancer
Joined: Mar 06, 2008
Posts: 2667
Location: The great trailer park in the sky!
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| Posted: Sun May 31, 2009 9:02 pm Post subject: |
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| computerlove wrote: | | Pugly wrote: | just ask her directly to do something.
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what the guy in the mexican sombrero said.
If she says yes, fine, if not, forget her and move on to find another girl. |
You are biased to his advice because he is wearing a mexican sombrero.
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Dirty Dancing (1987) - Trailer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCwgwO5fA00 |
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DonkeyBuster
Phoenix
Joined: May 12, 2009
Age: 51
Posts: 866
Location: New Mexico, USA
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| Posted: Sun May 31, 2009 9:15 pm Post subject: |
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 You are just jealous of his sombrero...  |
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Fatal-Noogie
Sea Gull
Joined: Oct 29, 2007
Age: 23
Posts: 200
Location: San Luis Obispo, California, United States of America, Earth, Solar System, Milky Way
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| Posted: Sun May 31, 2009 9:40 pm Post subject: |
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TIME CRUNCH.
I saw her at the meeting, which ran extra long, so I had to leave early to meet my friend for lunch, leaving me no opportunity to speak to her alone to ask her, which is just as well, because I will have no free time today. I must postpone all advances temporarily until I have some REAL free time.
Fortunately, her birthday is soon, so that might give me an opportunity to do something nice for her.
| Pugly wrote: | One of the biggest hurdles that I have to learn, is that people do get together and do stuff and it's not weird at all. No tricks, no surprises, no ulterior motives... just people getting together because they enjoy each other.
So just ask her directly to do something.
(I'm still learning this, and become very hesitant... but you just have to explain to yourself that you're not doing anything weird.) |
thx for the encouragement.
She is fluent in Spanish and spent time with the Zapatistas, so it makes sense that I should take the advice of someone wearing a sombrero. I don't know HOW it makes sense: it just does.
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Curiosity is the greatest virtue. |
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computerlove
Shigeo Fukuda 2009 :(
Joined: Jul 11, 2006
Posts: 5841
Location: Male, Mexico, Graphic Design
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| Posted: Sun May 31, 2009 11:47 pm Post subject: |
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| Fatal-Noogie wrote: | TIME CRUNCH.
I saw her at the meeting, which ran extra long, so I had to leave early to meet my friend for lunch, leaving me no opportunity to speak to her alone to ask her, which is just as well, because I will have no free time today. I must postpone all advances temporarily until I have some REAL free time.
Fortunately, her birthday is soon, so that might give me an opportunity to do something nice for her. |
I don't know how someone can say "I don't have time".
To say 'I don't have time,' is like saying, 'I don't want to - Lao Tzu
| MR_BOGAN wrote: | | You are biased to his advice because he is wearing a mexican sombrero. |
 Best thing to attract the chicas
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One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. |
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MR_BOGAN
Mysterios Dirty Dancer
Joined: Mar 06, 2008
Posts: 2667
Location: The great trailer park in the sky!
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