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How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20
Posted on Tuesday, June 26 @ 02:48:01 EDT by
WrongPlanet Audio
Alex Plank Flirts
In this episode of Autism Talk TV, I discuss flirting and dating with Dr. Liz Laugeson from UCLA's PEERS Program. This is the first episode of our social skills series we filmed at The Help Group. And the best part about this episode is that I demonstrate asking out a REAL girl!

Liz first walks me through the process of flirting which involves making eye contact, smiling, and then looking away right when the other person smiles and notices you.

Next we go over asking a girl or guy out on a date which involves finding a common interest and suggesting something that relates to that common interest. There's more to it but you'll have to watch to find out all the tips and tricks relating to body language, eye-contact, and what to say!

Watch the episode to learn about flirting and dating!




Also check out our how-to guide on joining a social circle and making friends!
UCLA's PEERS Program is located in Los Angeles, CA


               


 
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Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by EliteEnigma57 Thursday, December 20 @ 22:12:02 EST
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What is this "girl" you speak of? I don't think I've ever met one before!



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by eurovisionfan1990 Sunday, December 30 @ 16:47:49 EST
(User Info | Send a Message) http://www.facebook.com/jxcoffemaria
I tried to do it but it didn't work well for me, I'll try again next time.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by JackCaliber Friday, January 04 @ 12:19:26 EST
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Well, she's real in the sense that she's got double-x chromosomes, but that was scripted as hell. I'll take the advice with caution, but don't insult our intelligence.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by Feral Thursday, January 03 @ 11:04:17 EST
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Alex has awesome hair.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by oliverthered Monday, December 03 @ 07:27:37 EST
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I think this advice is 'bad' if not completely wrong. Here's why. I know it's about flirting but prating a smile that you've got to force/fake doesn't seem to be good advice the unnatural nature of it may seem creepy to the other person. Also 'spying' on what the other person is watching on there phone seems creepy to me and would put me off a bit esp from a stranger. Better just to comment on the more obvious make of phone e.g. you have an IPhone I have an Android what apps do you use? I expect that a few aspies will be able to use their IT skills and impress with that kind of conversation. Ignoring the amazing coincidences in the clip which would be a mirricle if they actually happened in real life... going to the cinema/theater for a date, first date, is a bad idea because you can't chat to the other person to get to know each other... really the most you can do is be a bit creepy and try to put your arm around her. some people actually get away with that but you'll have a lot a lot of failures!, esp if your the kind of person that's watching this advice in the first place.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by natoli Monday, March 04 @ 17:24:33 EST
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PERSONAL HYGINE DRESS LIKE A NT. very rarely will you wear your style of clothes and somone doesnt think your a clown.(ok this is for me personanly cause a completely green outfit looks good to me.) btw you can be bradd pitt but if your unshaven hair is a mess aint showerd in days never brush your teeth. you might have sex but your girlfriend isnt gona keep up either.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by MindWithoutWalls Tuesday, June 26 @ 12:45:01 EDT
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Ak! I've apparently been unintentionally flirting with loads of people over the course of my life! How are you supposed to not flirt, then?! If someone looks at me and smiles, how am I supposed to not smile and look away out of nervousness or not wanting to stare? I need more information!!!



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by MakaylaTheAspie Tuesday, June 26 @ 13:38:07 EDT
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Oh... that looks a little awkward to me. At least it can be done!



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by Washi Tuesday, June 26 @ 13:57:50 EDT
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What, you mean you're not supposed to wait for the co-worker you've had a crush on for the last year to put in his two weeks notice and casually ask for his email on his last day of work and tell him how you feel inviting him to ask you out in an email because you figure if the feeling isn't mutual you never have to see him again? And then be mortified when he decides he's keeping his job after all and shows up for work the next day but he hasn't checked his email yet? Oh well, that way wound up working for me anyway.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by momsparky Tuesday, June 26 @ 18:22:50 EDT
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This is great stuff - keep it up, please!



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by AScomposer13413 Tuesday, June 26 @ 22:05:39 EDT
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While I do love how concise the video is and love that there's a visual example to follow along with, there's one thing it overlooked (unless you're planning to cover it in another video) - that scenario isn't always going to be the standard when it comes to flirting. The only reason why I knew personally it was happening was because it was explicitly stated. When you're acting on it in the moment, there are LOTS of shades of grey, especially when you're trying to flirt with someone you just met. I'd suggest covering it in a later video, if you can.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by Ai_Ling Wednesday, June 27 @ 00:34:18 EDT
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The thing I dont like is that, it seems awkward to ask someone you just met randomly on a date. If a guy that I know nothing about starts hitting on me, its creepy most of the time. I would prefer to get to know them in a more non-pressure way. Being female, the way the girl subtly demonstrates interest took me "years" to figure out.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by Lonermutant Wednesday, June 27 @ 05:31:03 EDT
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Considering that most men with AS barely finished High School and that most of us are obese overeaters, a porn-star-like babe is probably not something we'd neither go for or bother with.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by LadySera Wednesday, June 27 @ 12:41:18 EDT
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I'll watch one of these when it addresses how a girl is supposed to flirt back & act uninterested (when she actually is interested) because that's something I've never mastered. I'm not settling for someone I'm not at all attracted to. Those are the only times guys think I'm flirting. "You're playing hard to get". No, I'm playing no get cuz you're 20 years older than me and have 5 baby mamas. I'm sure if I were a male aspie (I'm fairly attractive, as was my father who I now believe is an aspie & he did just fine in that department) I could pick someone up way easier. I know it's that same argument that happens on here all of the time. Believe me I grew up on YM & Cosmo & then read every dating book in the library, some of us are just hopeless.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by StuckWithin Wednesday, June 27 @ 22:39:17 EDT
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Interesting, but even recognizing these signs doesn't preclude reading a person's intentions correctly if they choose to be insincere or to give a certain impression but not really mean it. That's where one can get into some really vague situations. As always, follow your heart - but listen to your gut :)



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 0, Troll)
by FlanMaster Thursday, June 28 @ 12:00:56 EDT
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How does this correlate to developing good relationships? This is a scenario acted out by two people, girl who could probably date famous actors if she wanted to, and a guy who, while not ugly, is certainly not in the same "primal order" as the girl. In real situations a girl of this status would probably be only smiling at a guy of this status if she looked up and caught him staring or glancing at her, as a means to be friendly and would probably be hoping he's not going to try to flirt. The only way girls like this usually go out with guys like this is when they have reached an emotional need that "jocks" don't satisfy, and a more sensitive type of person (nerd) can. Some, very few, have this from the start, but most others never really progress to this point, and those that do "progress" rarely are satisfied marrying a "geek" Additionally, the material covered is not flirting but idle, casual conversation, that according to others is NOT the girl showing an interest, but is usually a way for the girl to "be nice but distant". I don't understand how this constitutes flirting nor how it applies when it's not "real flirting" but a scenario that was scripted and real situations like this never, in my experience, translates into an opportunity for the "nerd" to have a romantic relationship with the "hottie". Besides, who else would he be flirting with other than "a real . . . " person? a mannequin? Not much of the video seems to make sense or apply to reality. Please explain. I am confused. Thanks



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by mercercles Thursday, June 28 @ 23:43:21 EDT
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Please do more video like this one. Thanks!



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by MathGirl Friday, June 29 @ 07:45:28 EDT
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I don't understand why one needs to go through this just to get a date. Why is it so hard to just take the person you like aside and tell them about your feelings?



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 2, Funny)
by techstepgenr8tion Friday, June 29 @ 21:18:41 EDT
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Cool vid. My only suggestion for your friend, if she's thinking about an acting career tell her not to quit her day job. :)



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by SteveBorg Monday, July 02 @ 22:03:23 EDT
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I'm a big fan of the PEERS material. However, reading it on paper is one thing, while seeing it demonstrated is extremely helpful. I'd love to find more of the research that actually breaks down all the components of dating so that I can share it with my readers.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by Surfman Wednesday, July 04 @ 06:13:18 EDT
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Ethnic minority women choosing to marry up with a European man seems innocent enough on the surface, but is it???? If you look at the NZ Police website most wanted page, its evident that mixed race offenders are over represented by a very large degree. 'White Maori' are also over represented in drug use, plus many other social issues. Why???? I'm guessing that undiagnosed autisms forced white males to marry outside of their own culture, as their social mores were unacceptable to women of their own racial and genetic pools. So, is this article, fair in promoting interbreeding of Hispanic women with aspie males???? She gets Amerika, gets to be a soccer mom driving a SUV, credit card and highly paid engineer hubby and shopping malls, and he finally gets some companionship and beaver. The children may end up as drug addicts and criminals.... However, I'm mixed race and they are my favourite humans, though I am biased



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by christinacena Wednesday, July 04 @ 09:23:10 EDT
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Thanks for the wonderful tips.Now its time to do it practically.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by Bat_For_Lashes Sunday, July 08 @ 20:13:33 EDT
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Interesting - I happened to see our dear Alex Plank at a Starbucks this morning in Van Nuys (he was with a young woman but dunno if it was a "date" or anything of the sort) Just thought I'd share!



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by Adamantus Friday, July 13 @ 07:15:55 EDT
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Thanks for taking the time to make this. Whilst not Oscar-material things like this always enable us to realise what is appropriate to say whereas before it just seemed audacious and embarrassing. I think what most aspies generally do is that they don't know what is appropriate so they just stay behind very strict boundaries. They do this to avoid sudden and unexpected verbal attacks which have happened to them before.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by rondeau Friday, July 13 @ 10:47:57 EDT
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Never did the dating or pickup thing. However, when I meet a girl to this day I always forget to ask for a name and number, and I've engaged in rather lengthily conversations with them. In that they have disclosed plenty; I just forget those two questions. Perhaps I’ve invested to much in the area of conversation and not enough in follow through or in sales…closing the sale…LOL.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by CaptainTrips222 Saturday, July 14 @ 09:52:31 EDT
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Damn, just look at that hispanic girl he's talking. She's gorgeous.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by SteveBorg Saturday, July 14 @ 09:52:47 EDT
(User Info | Send a Message) http://www.myaspergers.net
Alex, or anyone. I'd love to be able to find more research based approaches to flirting, dating, and maintaining relationships so that I can share those insights with my readers at my blog. Any suggestions? Or how I can get in touch with the PEERS program for more of this information? I've already purchased their friendship building manuals.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by Zane Saturday, July 14 @ 19:19:27 EDT
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Am i the only person who finds this video a little cheesy? Like "A real girl" as if instead they would have him hit on an android cyborg, dog, cat, monkey, zebra... Also, that interaction was obviously scripted to match the lesson. That girl is either an actress or secretary/assistant/intern for the lady who was "teaching" Alex how to flirt. in my experience the only way to truly learn is to experience. no book will help you control the incredible urge to run away in fear and intimidation back to the comfort of your bed, room, house, alone zone when approaching let alone talking to a pretty girl, or any girl you are attracted to sexually. (and yes, that IS what it IS sexual attraction) You just have to go in and say "hi my name is, you are very pretty"...might not go past that but at least you got a little less green on the matter of "how to flirt and date".



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by ablomov Monday, July 16 @ 19:03:28 EDT
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good god, she's incredible ....anything as lovely as that even within thirty feet and I go to pieces... theres as much chance her speaking to me as my flying to the moon .....



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by ablomov Monday, July 16 @ 19:05:47 EDT
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i think she's a floosie, she's been thro the mill ??



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by GreenShadow Tuesday, July 17 @ 17:26:15 EDT
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Dear WP You really should warn people what happened next... What happened when you'll go to a date? I'll tell you: You will meet a lot of peple that after few "dates" just kick you away (if yoy're lucky) - or exploit you (if you're not so lucky) What "dates" and then "relationship" gave to me? I lost all trust to people I lost a lot of self esteem I started to think really wrong about myself - again I lost my sense of security I lost some money (that's not real problem, money is just money) And where's the good things? I really don't know I'll NEVER let anyone to my world again. Never I'll stick to solitude - that's much better, much safer that reveal yourself to someone. and I advise you to do the same Loneliness hurts, but it's nothing compared to how other people can hurt you :-(



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by Klinx Thursday, July 19 @ 16:06:53 EDT
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If this was ALL it took for me to ask someone out who was that good looking, I would be the happiest man ever.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by OzTBear Thursday, July 19 @ 21:23:49 EDT
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Way to go! Picking "Manhattan" as your favorite Woody Allen film.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by Sirius Friday, July 20 @ 23:21:38 EDT
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If I was expected to make the first move, just solely on the basis that I am a guy, I believe I would resent being forced into a certain role because of my gender. I am disheartened to believe that the 21st Century is so rigid in gender roles.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by leifalexander Saturday, July 21 @ 11:08:07 EDT
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i like it



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by Surfman Tuesday, July 24 @ 07:01:46 EDT
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I like how Alex has his leg crossed over with his tablet over his lap...



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by Agemaki Wednesday, July 25 @ 22:14:14 EDT
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I find that making plans to socialize with near strangers is somewhat stressful. Sort of like they will realize that aside from a minor shared interest or two I am difficult for them to relate to and vice versa. Or that doing new and strange things with new people is just too stressful and unpleasant for the experience to be enjoyable. Most of the friends/boyfriends that I have had I have gotten more from chance than anything. When I feel like someone is playing a flirting game with me it makes me anxious and I generally get hurt in the interplay of "maybe I like you, maybe I don't." I am so glad that I found another aspie who speaks plainly so I can understand him. I still have anxiety about making plans for formal dates in public but at least he can understand the cause of my anxiety.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by PenguinCoder Thursday, July 26 @ 05:35:19 EDT
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i like this! hope you make lots more of this topic!



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by benherszen Friday, August 03 @ 19:16:21 EDT
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Thanks for Posting this Alex. I could use help in this area like most Aspies.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by Drg Saturday, August 04 @ 03:07:05 EDT
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Haha when I walk in public I get used to get twitches when I past people an occasion I dont want to appear twitch and I end up in like a blank stare and then some one else is wondering why I'm staring at them



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by Stalk Sunday, August 05 @ 10:35:36 EDT
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So how would you ask someone like Kirsten Lindsmith out on a date. I find her to be attractive. I suspect that the answer would be not so different from NTs. But I think that would be a lie, because both wouldn't know when to ask the question or both might try to flee the situation. So what is the real truth?



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by Cesar Wednesday, August 15 @ 01:43:23 EDT
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I like the piano music. What is it? :-) Cesar



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by KuRowbot Saturday, August 18 @ 16:01:32 EDT
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To everyone commenting on how the attractiveness of the woman is way out of their league and makes this scenario unrealistic... You are missing the point of the video to some extent... And also, in a scenario like this, it's not always about the physical attractiveness of the two people. There are, in fact, these things we call 'emotions.' And, honestly, the flirting aspect wasn't about looks. (He didn't start by saying, 'you are attractive,' and then her responding 'you are also attractive,' 'let us mate.') I think we should all realize dating isn't always about getting laid... You must realize if that's what you want, you're going to have to jump through these hoops and pretend that's not the only thing you're interested in. -.- If you want a fighting chance, that is.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by Spam-I-Am Thursday, August 23 @ 14:37:18 EDT
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A lot of practical advice was given here. I find it amazing that Alex was able to talk to a real girl and not something cooked up in a lab. Personally I didn't realize smiling played such an important role in getting a date, and this is something I will try more often. If the two of us find ourselves smiling at each other a lot, it is probably a good idea to strike up a conversation and see how things happen.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by caramateo Friday, August 24 @ 00:48:50 EDT
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Really! Why not use our higher intelligence to get a date instead of trying to imitate the neurotypical crowd. It worked with me.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by murbark Monday, August 27 @ 00:55:38 EDT
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First of all, both chicks in that video are unbelievably hot so I'm pretty sure they would both be worth an awkward, painful moment :) Also, getting drunk helps! What? I'm just saying...



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by AlreadyAgain Sunday, September 02 @ 12:05:49 EDT
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Seems to be missing the biggest piece of information that those of us socially awkward people need. What to do after? That's where I usually go wrong. You've got the number, you've got a date and then what? You're stuck in a doctor's office and that's when I start talking in detail about the number of germs present in soap dispensers in public malls.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by snowcone17 Thursday, September 27 @ 02:35:18 EDT
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i can just see myself trying to flirt with a girl and then fu*king up and running away lol ill save flirting for another lifetime.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by wolfram2 Wednesday, September 05 @ 22:44:21 EDT
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wow! it's that simple? no way. he made eye contact. a lot. didn't rub his eyes even. "do you want to exchange..?" "of course." never, ever. this is a fantasy. not that it cannot happen, it does; however, teaching anyone that this is even remotely likely is criminal. here's the first clue, you don't tell someone, immediately, that you know way more than they..."duh, his best film is Manhattan...(it's not, anyway)" that only serves you in a contest. trying to get a date is not THAT sort of contest. next, you have to say sorry for not minding my own business and prying into your cell phone use, gee, i am kind of a creep... anyway, it's just not that simple. or, perhaps, you'll get exceedingly lucky and it will. on the other hand, being original and spontaneous works wonders. but, when you do it, you have to mean it. the rejection rate is huge; but, when you say who and what you are and it's accepted (and loved, hopefully) it's the most perfect introduction. i hope you fare well.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by lucky410 Monday, September 17 @ 10:59:13 EDT
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I've been on dates and in 2 long term relationship. But mainly my first ex approached me, she was pretty awesome bless her soul and the other I flirted with my previous instinctively. Game set. Time to match the barnacle. But no seriously I will not abuse the information and will be used a ethically and moral sound manner.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by DressageQueen Thursday, October 04 @ 13:45:00 EDT
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seriously all of this date talk is just making me hungry... like I am just going to go and make some buttery pancakes or maybe PB&J.. there is no motivation here!! Everyone is just talking about how they want to date so badly and how beautiful women are but I don't think they really care honestly b/c I am beautiful and no guy EVER bothers to ask me out...???? Whether NT or atypical NOONE. Guys just sit around with each other and pretend they like girls but in reality they don't. They just like to talk like they do. I think you guys are content with just all of the fantasies in your head and talking about figuritive "beautiful ladies" but you don't actually want a REAL girlfriend- a REAL person. I'll stand ten feet from a guy in a public place and he will not even notice me- and mind you I am attractive!!! I am just going to go eat my feelings now. You guys keep talking about "beautiful ladies" and have fun with that



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by jullybaby Saturday, October 06 @ 08:04:51 EDT
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HI DEAR never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance. (juliana20_4u@hotmail.com) that's my mail contact i really cares for your relationship I'll attach my picture To your mailbox. thanks miss Juliana



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by WolfieBoi Friday, October 26 @ 03:25:47 EDT
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Hot Girl Medium-Size Outsider (Lawful Evil) Hit Dice: 10d8+36 Initiative: +14 Speed: 30ft., fly 60ft. (good) AC:35 (+10 dex, +15 natural) Damage Emotions: +21/+16/+11/+6, 4d6+12 Spells and Spell-Like Abilities: Flirtatious Gaze, Entrance, Feign Interest, Shatter Image of Self-Worth, Break Heart Skills: Bluff +20, Sense Motive +25, Diplomacy +7, Knowledge (all) +14, Intimidate +11 Feats: Weapon Finesse (verbal), Weapon Focus (verbal) Climate/Terrain: malls, supermarkets, nightclubs and your yoga class CR: 17



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by MaximumNEET Tuesday, October 30 @ 19:06:16 EDT
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I would probably ask if she wants to fuck as soon as she told me her favourite movie.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by Scalar Wednesday, November 07 @ 05:00:50 EST
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I'm mesmerized by her natural brownness and Caucasian facial features. I would be shaking if she so much as smirked at me.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by DKS1027 Friday, July 05 @ 18:27:16 EDT
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I think this can be very helpful advice. However, my Asperger's has delayed my development so much, that I find myself questioning whether I'm still young enough to fit into "the league". These days, I feel so self-conscious about my age of 47. I see these flirting videos, but I feel forced to think to myself "Yeah, but that guy is probably significantly younger than I am; it may be inappropriate for me to do the same, unless it's with a woman who's old enough to be a grandma". I find it so upsetting when people tell me that I'm too old to fit in with the sexually-prime-age crowd, because, after all, I haven't even had my first girlfriend yet! I hate my self-image when I have thoughts like that.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by basenick20 Friday, August 02 @ 11:57:18 EDT
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Hello, my name is Nicholas and I'm new to this site. I've just seen this video and now I realize that I've been going by this the wrong way. Here's what I learned; 1. You have to make eye contact and smile to see if the person you're interested in is interested in you. 2. Initiate a conversation to see if you and the person have any common interests. 3. If the person you're interested in is interested in you and they have common interests, plan on doing something together and exchange contact information. Do any of you guys agree with my assessment of the video? Let me know. Thanks.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by Artman1 Wednesday, October 23 @ 14:50:35 EDT
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Well, I sure hope that there's someone on this site who looks very pretty and is interested in doing a jamming session of music with me which is mostly the kind that I've always loved a lot all my life.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by Artman1 Wednesday, October 23 @ 14:53:18 EDT
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Oh and I sure hope that it could even be a girl who lives somewhere near where I live which somewhere in Bristol, CT.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by Artman1 Wednesday, October 23 @ 14:54:33 EDT
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Sorry, I meant which is somewhere in Bristol, CT.



Re: How to Flirt and Get a Date! - Autism Talk TV 20 (Score: 1)
by GrantRobertson Saturday, November 02 @ 11:13:20 EDT
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It must be excruciatingly difficult to try to get through to people with Asperger's in videos like this. Naturally, it is scripted. How could it not be. However, it is possible to make it seem more real to people who see every detail as a reason why it wouldn't work for them. First, you should use actors who are less attractive. By using an incredibly attractive (and doe eyed) actress, you may think you are showing young men that they too could meet attractive women. Instead you are giving them another reason why this video is "totally unrealistic" and could never work for THEM. Second, the male actor should have less style. Yes, Alex, this may be your style, but it is not the style of most young men with Asperger's. Especially the hair. The actor should have no die-jobs and no "product." Just regular hair. Maybe needing a hair-cut but not too unkempt. No fancy, up to the minute, fashion-conscious beard. Just clean-shaven and boring. And he should be displaying nothing that is overtly expensive, like the latest Mac laptop or phone. You also need to either drag out the "small talk" and "getting to know a little about you" part, or make it clear through better narration that things don't progress nearly this quickly. Finally, to avoid the creep-factor of having the guy "spying on what she is watching," you could have shown them sitting there while she has the volume up loud enough that the audience can clearly hear some signature portion of the film (whatever film you can get rights to, or perhaps a YouTube channel). This, then, will give him clear permission to know what she is watching because she broadcast it throughout the room. Then, he can say, "Hey, is that X?" ... and off they go. I really appreciate what you are trying to do here. As someone who has worked for decades to build up even moderate social skills, I know how hard it is to learn all this stuff. However, I also know how unrealistic all the advice from others can seem. You may need to work a little harder to more carefully craft your videos to this particular audience.


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