Post 4113788 - (Help a minor with Autism and his abusive mother.)

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[quote="DW_a_mom"][quote="Nekaru"]The hearing to fight the restraining order is this Friday. Which is why I'm asking. Is it possible she's already had his rights removed for when he turns 18 (as in declared him incompetent before he even turns 18 ) and that's why she's asking for a 3 year renewal on it. Or is she just asking 3 years in hope that the judge will overlook the fact he'll be 18 next year?

Is there anyway of knowing ahead of time?[/quote]

I think you need to remove your focus from the restraining order, and keep your mind on where and if you can help your friend regardless of a restraining order, within the legal parameters exisring for you with or without such an order.  Your focus on that factor seems like a dead end to me.  I'm pretty sure there are ways to remove restraining orders after they are in place, btw, so you can afford to let some time pass.

I am also pretty sure you would have a right to make an appearance in court when she tries to extend the order to plead your side by apologizing for what came across as rash or erratic behavior (she couldn't have gotten the order unless that was the case) and reiterate that the only reason you took any of those actions was because you were genuinely concerned for your friend.  But you aren't going to be effective with that unless you start approaching all of this smarter.

What I'm suggesting is that you stop panicking and start doing.  Don't ask us what the law is, do some research and find out what it is.  Doing that will show to  the court you are responsible and rational.   Do I think the mom could have finalized a guardianship this far ahead of his 18th birthday?  No, I do not, but she will certainly have been working on the related documents.  Getting the result you want in court is never a matter of showing up in court and providing a spur of the moment emotional appeal.  It always requires preparation and an understanding of the law.  We aren't lawyers; we can't do that for you (and even if we were, we wouldn't for a variety of practical reasons).

If you want to get anything straightened out in this you need preparation and an understanding of the law.  Which is why I suggested you do your homework.

Demonstrate through mature and carefully thought out actions that you are interested in your friend's welfare first and foremost, and demonstrate that you are no threat by acting like a responsible adult, doing your homework, and going through the proper channels with well prepared petitions.

Plus, the family cannot harass you if you are in a law library doing research, or quietly writing up everything you know that could prove competence.  You'll remove some of the power they have over you.  Right now they know every move you are going to make and every worry you have because you've published it,  and that gives them power.  If you genuinely believe they are not working in your friend's best interest, then you need to take some of your own power back by getting your own homework done.

To be honest, I have no  idea at all if you have any chance at the "win" you want, but I still think the process I've suggested is worth it, because if nothing else it will help you  get your head on straight about what has happened and what could happen.

IMHO.

Also ... If trying to dig into the legal research is too overwhelming, see if you can find a local legal aid organization.  They might be able to help you with the basic process questions.

I know that nothing I'm suggesting is easy, but nothing about empowerment ever is.[/quote]

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