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[quote="InTheDeepEnd"]I'm a 37 year old lesbian and when I was growing up we had no one to talk to about this stuff. We sure as hell didn't talk to parents about it. Maybe some lucky people with really liberal parents could do that, but not anyone I have ever known who is my age. Your parents can't tell you if you are gay or straight, or bi. As a teenager, I think it's totally normal to have feelings for both sexes that you want to (and which I think you should) explore. Self-exploration is the only way to know yourself. Parents have hopes and fears so they have an agenda, whether they mean to or not. I know it is frustrating to not know what you are, but one day you will be sure, and you are the only one who can figure it out. Don't put pressure on yourself to accept a label, and don't let others pressure you to label yourself, either.[/quote]
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2012 6:01 am
I was accused by my mother of being gay after starting to volunteer and sociallise with a local GLBTIOA social group. Newsflash mother Im not Im more in the asexual spectrum than anything. Should see that as a good thing. It's bad enough having AS and bringing shame to the family. Look at it this way: At least I was trying to socialise and helping others. I can relate to them knowing what it's like to feel marginalised and discriminated against. It's not fair that I can get married if I want to and my friends can't so I support gay marriage.
Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 9:11 pm
i had to come out to my parents 3 times before they believed me. once at age 11, once at age 17 and then again at age 21. thank goodness i like things in 3s.
Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 6:14 am
I am bi but I prefer girls. When I was 16, this was very much the case.
My parents wouldn't accept I was bi, though - and probably still don't. I've got to the point, though where I don't really care what my parents think my sexuality is. It has nothing to do with them. The important thing was accepting it in myself, which took me a surprisingly long time to do.
Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 10:38 pm
Sounds a lot like my sister. But she draws fae, when she got out of her first (not last) bad male relationship she jumped on to the lesbian band wagin(this is not in any way an insult or saying lesbians are not real) and started telling our family she was a lesbian. Few months later she fell in love with a boy(enter hell we are in now) and now she is straight.
My point is maybe before you say your parents are wrong you should take a step back and see if maybe the pain of your past relationship made your dislike men? Your mom seems to be understanding with what ever you pick and does not want you to lie to your self.
Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2012 4:16 am
You're 16. A lot of what you're going through now is a phase, even if your sexuality isn't one of them. Your parents sound like they're supportive even if they're not taking you seriously quite yet. Keep being yourself and they're realize it's for real.
Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 7:53 pm
People are strangely hard to define. Except for when it comes to following their hearts.
Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 6:40 pm
I went though the same thing with my parents when I was your age, it will pass. They just have to see you with other girls like they did with the men.
Then they will realize that you're serious.
Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 9:32 am
I hope that as time passes she can be more accepting of you.
When I came out all my mom said was "as long as you are happy and treated right then I am happy too. "
She was always supportive and I think every person deserves a good support system.
Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 3:01 am
I'm a 37 year old lesbian and when I was growing up we had no one to talk to about this stuff. We sure as hell didn't talk to parents about it. Maybe some lucky people with really liberal parents could do that, but not anyone I have ever known who is my age. Your parents can't tell you if you are gay or straight, or bi. As a teenager, I think it's totally normal to have feelings for both sexes that you want to (and which I think you should) explore. Self-exploration is the only way to know yourself. Parents have hopes and fears so they have an agenda, whether they mean to or not. I know it is frustrating to not know what you are, but one day you will be sure, and you are the only one who can figure it out. Don't put pressure on yourself to accept a label, and don't let others pressure you to label yourself, either.
Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2012 6:30 pm
Post subject: Re: It's NOT another obsession, I really do like other girls
Ugh same here. My mom thought I was having an Asperger's obsession when I was outted. I don't honestly think I could have Asperger's obsessions that MAKE me this way. I'm in an amazing relationship with a girl for almost a year. My love for her has nothing to do with Asperger's.
Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2012 5:52 pm
Post subject: It's NOT another obsession, I really do like other girls!
Sexuality wasn't a very big part of my life until the 8th grade. I'm a very talented artist, mainly when it comes to drawing people. This is when my mom decided to confront me, telling me that I was probably a lesbian towards the end of my 8th grade year, since I mostly drew women. I spent pretty much the entire summer thinking, and not knowing that it actually was true that I was a lesbian. It wasn't that hard because both of my parents are VERY accepting and tolerant people. Even then, I still believed I felt attracted to men, so I labeled myself as bi at the beginning of the 9th grade.
Throughout most of 2011, believed that I really was bi, and I've been through many different relationships, having been exposed to a larger grade, and attending parties and meeting people who wanted to date me. After one rough relationship with a guy, I finally opened my eyes to my real sexuality. In the many relationships I was in, I rarely had any sexual fantasies; I rarely dated any girls. The only sexual fantasies I did have only involved other girls. Being a teenager, I tend to look at very provocative and suggestive things on the internet; every one of the ones I enjoyed involved girls. In fact, just walking down the street I could figure out which gender I found more attractive. I doubted it at first because it may have been the aftermath of a bad relationship, but I finally realized that it wasn't resulting from anything, it was just how I felt to begin with.
At this point my parents did believe that I was bi after seeing me with so many guys. So they seemed a little confused when I told them myself that I was a lesbian. Mom told me that it might just be some sort of 'phase'. She then said that it's maybe 'all this anime stuff going to your head'. I will admit that I like anime, in fact I mostly watch anime when I do watch cartoons. But I don't think it's an obsession. Having AS, the people who know I have it often assume that I have very focused obsessions on certain things, which I don't think I do. I like pretty much what other teenagers like; music, the internet, video games, and sometimes even cartoons. And I haven't watches cartoons in MONTHS so it really bothered me when mom said that this 'anime stuff' was probably going to my head. She was accepting of me being a lesbian before, and she's still accepting of people in the LGBT community. So why isn't she fully accepting of me?
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