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[quote="just-lou"]I think there was another asex topic here before - looking that up might be insightful for you. Asexual here, too. Am everything-minority. My junk works just fine, but I'd actually rather it didn't, as I dislike everything about sexuality and would happily simply bypass the whole lot. And people can't even use the whole how-do-you-know-you-don't-want-it-if-you've-never-tried-it argument - because I have. Repeatedly, and in many ways. As you said, allowed people to push me into it because [i]they[/i] wanted [i]me.[/i] But can safely say I don't want it and am never likely to, these days. So, I don't find males, females or queers sexually attractive. I find people interesting and may want to get to be closer with them, but never in any way that involves our respective genitals. Generally, I am a VERY private person, so people know that asking me any kind of personal questions is not appropriate (and they'll only get a silly answer if they do ask) thus they've stopped asking me about my sexuality, my lack of partners, my views on the traditional biological family, etc. And as for handling sexual advances - being trans works wonders for that. People are less inclined to hit on you, or treat you as a stereotype of your plumbing, if they can't tell which binary gender you belong to in the first place.[/quote]
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Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 10:37 am
I think I could be asexual. I'm not interested in having sex and don't plan to ever have it again.
Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 10:19 am
If i have to label myself i'll name it lesbian but, i think i am running on an asexual path. i can be quite sexual when theres love envolved but lately i'm kinda sublimizing myself, for many reasons included spirituality..
however society is still divided in a dualistic manner so sometimes i have to adapt ( to my own gender which i don't identify with)....
if people ask me directly i will just say im a lesbian but usualy i tend to neutralize myself because i dont like attention or controversy..
Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 6:59 am
i'm definitely asexual, possibly aromantic - i do find some people "good looking" but that means nothing to me sexually.
as for being aromantic, i just don't really know. i have believed i was in love before because i thought my partner and i were compatible enough to spend a lifetime together, but i don't know if that was real affection or just what i thought it would be like.
i don't think for me AS and asexuality are intersecting, apart from the 'no touch' rule which i realise is not necessarily an asexual trait.
at this point i have so many oddities i am almost not bothered by it anymore. i used to be scared of telling people i was asexual but i've been more open about it in the past year or so and it's always gone well, perhaps because i've presented it as not a big deal.
Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2012 5:42 am
I am asexual but there is more to it than that..
I've had sex and enjoyed it most of the time.
But right now, for the last few weeks i'm celibate and i'm not missing sex..
i don't waste my time on it any more and i am much calmer
I also don't have the desire to seek a partner any more, in fact turned someone down!
Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 10:59 pm
As it turns out, there's a whole Aspergian community on an asexual website:
Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 2:50 am
I went through high school with the idea that I was asexual, because I was sure that I was never going to enter a relationship at any point and people bored me around that time, as I preferred my own company too. I don't identify as asexual anymore, but I still question if there are elements of it that remain, because even if I do get together with someone in the future then I'm not sure how comfortable I will be involved.
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 9:42 pm
I think I'm asexual. I've been kissed once and it was horrible. I'm not really interested in a 'romantic' relationship at the moment, either-I'm married to my work-but I guess you never know what life's going to drop in your lap.
Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2012 10:19 pm
Definitely Asexual. I don't even particularly like it when I have to hug friends and family. I'm aesthetically attracted to men, but whenever I start dating a guy, I lose all interest in him within 2 weeks. My senses go on overload with a lot of everyday things--sex I think would be a million times worse, and I doubt whatever pleasure I'd get from it would be worth the trouble. Yes, there are times when I feel like a freak of nature in many ways. The fact is that a lot of people understand what homosexuality and heterosexuality are, but asexuality is something that society (and the parents) can't really grasp. I found other asexuals to meet with now through a local MeetUp group. It's a way to at least affirm that you don't always have to be the only asexual in the room.
Posted: Sat Oct 06, 2012 2:50 pm
I think I am an Aromantic Asexual. I've never really been in a real relationship before. I've never been kissed tho it almost happened when I was 16. I'm 21 now and I perfectly fine being single and never been kissed. I guess it's better to not know what it is like. I'm attracted to the opposite sex physically and as well as their personality and same interests. I just value friendship a lot more. I would rather be friends than be in a relationship. I also find sex to be gross and kinda scary.
Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 7:50 pm
i wanted to give myself the freedom to respond without going through the usual course of research in regards to the subject.
that said, i have identified as a queer since around 2004 and am wondering today how much of my gender blurring and sexual disinterest may have to do with being socially delayed or socially different.
Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 4:01 pm
I have never been physically attracted to anyone or ever understood the concept. I remember a few years ago reading an article aimed at preteen kids explaining what sexual/romantic attraction would feel like (things like increased heartbeat, flushing, increased body temperature, etc) and feeling astonished to discover at the age of 30 that everyone else experienced this sort of thing on a regular, even daily basis. It was bizarre to realise that other people were all having this experience I had no idea existed. I also don't understand why people differentiate between men and women when it comes to relationships or make such a fuss about doing so, probably because I don't understand the concept of being attracted to someone for their physical body rather than for their "self-ness".
On the other hand, I believe that if I was deeply in love with someone I trusted I would want to express that love sexually, would find them physically attractive due to that emotional connection and would want to experience orgasm with them. I respect the opportunity in sexual union for emotional and spiritual connection with someone and am not disturbed by the idea of sex. (I have never fallen in love so I'm not certain of this, but I believe it to be the likely outcome).
So that would either make me not asexual, or a bad asexual for perpetuating that stereotype of "just needing to meet the right person" which asexuals hate so much!
I have heard that asexuality or decreased sexual interest is very common in people with ASDs, perhaps because we are more interested in our obsessions and hobbies?
Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 3:22 am
I was looking for a topic like this, sorry if I hijack it. I am questioning whether I'm asexual or just having sexyal dysfunction. I am married to a sexual partner. For now we have decided not to have sex until I am stable mental health-wise, but there is a possibility thata I just won't want sex.
Sorry that your question was ignored, that happens often here on WP just because we all are a bit socially off, but in answer to your question,
If you are indeed asexual, this may cause a problem in your marriage as I have seen on AVEN in similar situations. Asexuality is not a disorder but an orientation and needs to be treated as such, but if you find that you are asexual, then you need to be honest with your partner about it when you are ready to handle the what comes afterwards. The truth is that some marriages dont survive when an asexual comes out to their partner, and you need to prepare yourself for if that happens. However, if your partner really loves you and wants to be with even without sex, that has been known to happen also. Often, the news of one's asexuality to a sexual partner will not be the sole thing to break a good marriage, but more of the final straw to break the camel's back kinda thing. If your marriage is already on shaky ground due to other issues, hearing of your asexuality, if that is the case, may be that final straw.
There are other options also such as an open marriage where you allow him/her to have sex with other people so that need is fullfilled, however that comes with risks too like if he/she falls in love with the other person and wants to leave the marriage for exclusivity with that person.
Some asexuals also compromise with their sexual partners and have sex every once in a while.
There are no easy answers in this situation, unless you are lucky enough to have a partner that loves you enough to be celebate for the rest of the time you are together.
Sorry I could not wave a magic wand, but those are your choices,
Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 2:02 am
I identify as asexual because it seems to fit. I guess I have a sex drive. But I don't think I would like to have sex. I would much rather watch a movie or discuss a book. I like to discuss things and I like to have deep discussions and sex seems like it would take away from time when I could be thinking of talking of writing about something. It just doesn't sound interesting. It sounds boring. Aesthetically pleasing people don't seem attractive if they aren't smart. But if they are smart, I just want to talk about things with them and drink tea and discuss ideas.
I always considered myself heteroromantic but I think I am friends with someone who is agender and I'm not sure if we are in a relationship or not. He likes to sit in my lap and I play with his hair and we like to eat meals together and discuss Sherlock Holmes together, which is about as close to a romantic relationship as I am going to get. I don't know if that makes me panromantic. Really, I think I am more Demi-romantic because I don't have time for romantic things.
Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2012 8:44 pm
Asexual here with the lack of romantic attraction.
Posted: Fri Sep 07, 2012 7:19 pm
I'm asexual. It's taken me a while to fully accept it. I had to end a 2 and a half year long relationship because of it, because although we'd managed that long with no sex due to the relationship being online, he admitted that he wouldn't be able to handle a relationship that involved no sex once we were together in person and confessed that he'd probably get frustrated and leave me after a while. If I ever do have another relationship, I need it to be with another person who is asexual because I really wouldn't feel comfortable with compromising and having sex just to please somebody. My friends used to joke that I'd end up as an elderly spinster with lots of cats, which I think was contributing to me feeling like I was somehow "broken" for being asexual, but now I'm older with more self esteem I can happily admit that I could reach 80 without ever having had sex or even kissed anybody and I'd be perfectly happy with that situation, especially if I had lots of cats.
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