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[quote="AardvarkGoodSwimmer"]Maybe just try to be very direct and brief in what you want? :jocolor: Now, the hard part, I used to think I was smarter than most people. And n the areas I'm smart in and the ways I'm smart, that's probably true. I'm smart in Aspie ways. So, asking people to understand in my way, they're really going to be trying something new. Some people might be able to do this. But some might not, or not right away. And even those who can, it's uncomfortable for them trying something this different (I guess). It is a mystery, how people can be humanistic some ways but not others. And bail on you. Or it sure seems like they do, and I don't like that one little bit.[/quote]
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<table border="0" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1" width="100%" class="forumline"> <tr> <th class="thCornerL" width="22%" height="26">Author</th> <th class="thCornerR">Message</th> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row1"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>treblecake</b></span></td> <td class="row1" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Mon May 14, 2012 12:10 pm<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: </span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody">Yeah I understand how you feel. <br />I've always had trouble opening up to people, I just hate that feeling of vulnerability and I only feel comfortable talking about feelings to people I feel comfortable around is basically no one. I've tried talking to my mum about how I'm scared of certain social interactions but she just tells me to stop being stupid and immature.</span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row2"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>Sweetleaf</b></span></td> <td class="row2" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Thu May 10, 2012 3:05 pm<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: </span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody"></span><table width="90%" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="3" border="0" align="center"><tr> <td><span class="genmed"><b>Nikadee43 wrote:</b></span></td> </tr> <tr> <td class="quote"></span><table width="90%" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="3" border="0" align="center"><tr> <td><span class="genmed"><b>Sweetleaf wrote:</b></span></td> </tr> <tr> <td class="quote">I get what you're saying....for me its very hard to be open about that sort of thing. For me its hard because growing up I got used to people picking on me and proceeding to do it even more when it became apparent I was becoming upset about it. So I started trying to bottle things up not to mention there are times I have opened up to people only to have them totally mis-understand. But yeah then another big thing is its not like it's fun to spill out how horrible you feel to someone and risk bringing them down to......its certainly easier to be approached by someone as that indicates they actually do have time to care otherwise it could go either way and sometimes safer than sorry feels better. At least that's my perspective on it.</td> </tr></table><span class="postbody"> <br /> <br />I've been bottling things up since I was a kid. I think it could be a mixed between of literally not knowing how to verbally express how I was feeling and not being raised in an environment where expression of those feelings wasn't fully supported. for me, my mother and other family members were the bullies, so I avoided them as much as I could. It's always been easier for me to open up to my friends more than my own family members, but in the past when I've tried to open up about my problems, the response was more or less dismissive. So I guess learned not to talk about that stuff until someone asked, unless it was someone I really trusted. It's such a tough/strange position. I can't just start talking about it because I don't know the words to use or can't fully understand what I'm feeling, so I withdraw; but when I do start talking I don't know how to handle the responses I get when it's not what I was expecting, which only makes me withdraw even more.</td> </tr></table><span class="postbody"> <br /> <br />Yeah I tried talking to my mom about some of my issues but she got all dismissive and frustrated..and clearly does not see trying to make it in college, looking for jobs, having applied for SS, or going to counseling as trying to do anything. So now naturally the last thing I want to do is try to open up to her more.</span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row1"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>Nikadee43</b></span></td> <td class="row1" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Thu May 10, 2012 2:33 pm<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: </span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody"></span><table width="90%" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="3" border="0" align="center"><tr> <td><span class="genmed"><b>Sweetleaf wrote:</b></span></td> </tr> <tr> <td class="quote">I get what you're saying....for me its very hard to be open about that sort of thing. For me its hard because growing up I got used to people picking on me and proceeding to do it even more when it became apparent I was becoming upset about it. So I started trying to bottle things up not to mention there are times I have opened up to people only to have them totally mis-understand. But yeah then another big thing is its not like it's fun to spill out how horrible you feel to someone and risk bringing them down to......its certainly easier to be approached by someone as that indicates they actually do have time to care otherwise it could go either way and sometimes safer than sorry feels better. At least that's my perspective on it.</td> </tr></table><span class="postbody"> <br /> <br />I've been bottling things up since I was a kid. I think it could be a mixed between of literally not knowing how to verbally express how I was feeling and not being raised in an environment where expression of those feelings wasn't fully supported. for me, my mother and other family members were the bullies, so I avoided them as much as I could. It's always been easier for me to open up to my friends more than my own family members, but in the past when I've tried to open up about my problems, the response was more or less dismissive. So I guess learned not to talk about that stuff until someone asked, unless it was someone I really trusted. It's such a tough/strange position. I can't just start talking about it because I don't know the words to use or can't fully understand what I'm feeling, so I withdraw; but when I do start talking I don't know how to handle the responses I get when it's not what I was expecting, which only makes me withdraw even more.</span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row2"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>OliveOilMom</b></span></td> <td class="row2" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Thu May 03, 2012 6:35 pm<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: </span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody">I think people sometimes ignore those who are depressed for several reasons, and this has been my experience as the depressed person, from the feedback I've gotten from my family and friends when I asked them basically the same thing you just asked; <br /> <br />The depressed person (called DP from here on out) seems to always be depressed and they are tired of the negativity. The DP always has something negative to say about almost everything and rather than hear them out and find out what is really wrong beneath all the negativity, they prefer to avoid it altogether because they just can't take any more negativity. <br /> <br />They feel that when the DP tells them their problems that they as friends or family are being asked to give advice or help fix things, and they know from past experience that the DP won't take their advice or allow them to help. <br /> <br />They feel uncomfortable around so much negative emotion <br /> <br />They feel that the DP just sucks the life right out of them or the fun out of everything by their attitude. <br /> <br />They take the DP's depression personally and feel insulted when the DP doesn't respond like they want her to. <br /> <br />They resent the fact that the DP is depressed when the DP obviously has so many good things in life that others don't. <br /> <br />They have tried to help the DP in the past and when it didn't work or didn't work fast enough or the DP didn't show enough improvement, they decided it wasn't worth it. <br /> <br />They feel that the DP is being emotionally lazy by not "pulling themselves up by their bootstraps" and just doing what they need to be doing. <br /> <br />They feel that nobody could be as depressed as the DP always seems to be and feel that she is either exaggerating it or faking the whole thing altogether. <br /> <br />They consider the DP's depression insignificant because the things that bother the DP don't bother the friend/family member. <br /> <br />They feel that people should keep their personal things to themselves and not put it out there for everyone to see. They feel uncomfortable with the emotional closeness that talking about depression would involve. <br /> <br />They are truly unable to understand how someone is depressed, what depression is, that it is real, that it isn't something that can be gotten over easily if someone just forces themself to act cheerful. <br /> <br />They feel that if the DP really cared about them then she would try to act normal for their sake, and because the DP can't just act normal they feel that they aren't important at all to the DP. <br /> <br />They are mentally unable to provide emotional support because they don't understand it or understand what they can do for the DP. <br /> <br />They don't understand how their actions could effect the DP in any way, since depression is a clinical illness and not simply based on situations. <br /> <br />They don't want to spend the time or effort on helping the DP because they don't consider the DP to be a close enough friend. <br /> <br />They feel that they are prying or being nosey if they ask the DP about her problems <br /> <br />They feel that "people just don't talk about things like that" <br /> <br />They are afraid that if they ask the DP what's wrong or if they offer to talk with them about it, that the DP will start constantly bothering them to talk about things and obtain their help to deal with the depression. <br /> <br />They grew up with a parent or family member with depression and it impacted their life in such a negative way that discussing depression with anyone who is depressed will bring back bad feelings. In addition to this they may also unconsciously identify the DP with the depressed parent/family member from their past and take out the misplaced anger on the DP <br /> <br />There are probably a lot more reasons, but those are the ones that are right off the top of my head. Most of those things are the reasons why people have not been as supportive as I've needed them to be in the past. Either the person told me themself when I asked, or someone else told me, or I figured some of them out on my own via observation of the person or comments they made to me about it. <br /> <br />We won't ignore you here though.</span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row1"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>Sweetleaf</b></span></td> <td class="row1" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 11:58 am<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: </span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody"></span><table width="90%" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="3" border="0" align="center"><tr> <td><span class="genmed"><b>Nikadee43 wrote:</b></span></td> </tr> <tr> <td class="quote">@Rainy: Maybe you're right, but I guess since I've always made an effort to be there for them even when they don't tell me something is wrong that it would be in their nature to do the same thing. Not to mention that it's not very easy for a depressed person to just open up and spill out their feelings. Maybe I'm a little more perceptive than others? I don't know, the reason it bothers me so much is because these really are the only people I would trust to talk to about it and many of them already know I have issues with depression and as actually I did tell some of them what I was going through. I'm not really upset about it anymore but still just confused.</td> </tr></table><span class="postbody"> <br /> <br />I get what you're saying....for me its very hard to be open about that sort of thing. For me its hard because growing up I got used to people picking on me and proceeding to do it even more when it became apparent I was becoming upset about it. So I started trying to bottle things up not to mention there are times I have opened up to people only to have them totally mis-understand. But yeah then another big thing is its not like it's fun to spill out how horrible you feel to someone and risk bringing them down to......its certainly easier to be approached by someone as that indicates they actually do have time to care otherwise it could go either way and sometimes safer than sorry feels better. At least that's my perspective on it.</span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row2"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>Nikadee43</b></span></td> <td class="row2" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 1:30 am<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: </span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody">@Rainy: Maybe you're right, but I guess since I've always made an effort to be there for them even when they don't tell me something is wrong that it would be in their nature to do the same thing. Not to mention that it's not very easy for a depressed person to just open up and spill out their feelings. Maybe I'm a little more perceptive than others? I don't know, the reason it bothers me so much is because these really are the only people I would trust to talk to about it and many of them already know I have issues with depression and as actually I did tell some of them what I was going through. I'm not really upset about it anymore but still just confused.</span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row1"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>Rainy</b></span></td> <td class="row1" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 12:34 am<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: </span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody">Regardless of whether or not you think they should be able to notice your problems, you really don't have much of a basis for complaining if you never asked for someone to talk to you. <br /> <br />Anyways, if you're still depressed, talk to someone else about it instead of waiting for them to talk to you.</span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row2"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>Nikadee43</b></span></td> <td class="row2" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2012 1:26 am<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: </span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody"></span><table width="90%" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="3" border="0" align="center"><tr> <td><span class="genmed"><b>Rainy wrote:</b></span></td> </tr> <tr> <td class="quote">...Have you ever tried simply talking to other people? Expecting others to read your mind isn't going to work.</td> </tr></table><span class="postbody"> <br /> <br />I don't necessarily expect them to read my mind, but I guess I just assume that they would notice such a drastic change. Without even trying, I can notice if something is different about someone. I may not know what it means but I can see if simething's not right. For example, the person I apologized to, well before my depression I noticed he wasn't speaking to me as much as he used to. I brought it up to him and he said he didn't realize it was happening, but after that it continued. Then I noticed how sad he seemed so then I thought maybe he was having a hard time with something and that it wasn't personal. But the more I paid attention to his actions I began to see that he would start a conversation with everyone except me. Some days he would barely acknowledge me. This went on for months and I never knew if it was for a specific reason or not. <br /> <br />My point is that maybe I assume others pay as close attention to The actions of the people closest to them as I do. I mean how can you not when you see them practically everyday? I don't assume they would know exactly what's on my mind hut it seems that they would notice a drastic change in behavior and if they cared enough, to show some concern.</span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row1"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>Joker</b></span></td> <td class="row1" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2012 12:57 am<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: </span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody"></span><table width="90%" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="3" border="0" align="center"><tr> <td><span class="genmed"><b>Rainy wrote:</b></span></td> </tr> <tr> <td class="quote"></span><table width="90%" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="3" border="0" align="center"><tr> <td><span class="genmed"><b>Joker wrote:</b></span></td> </tr> <tr> <td class="quote"></span><table width="90%" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="3" border="0" align="center"><tr> <td><span class="genmed"><b>Rainy wrote:</b></span></td> </tr> <tr> <td class="quote">...Have you ever tried simply talking to other people? Expecting others to read your mind isn't going to work.</td> </tr></table><span class="postbody"> <br /> <br />Your right but if your family knows you well enough they should be able to sense what is bothering you.</td> </tr></table><span class="postbody"> <br /> <br />And then you blame them when they fail your test of love?</td> </tr></table><span class="postbody"> <br /> <br />No that would be selfish if they did that it. If they fail the test of love that doesn't mean you blame them some times family doesn't know each other all that well.</span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row2"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>Rainy</b></span></td> <td class="row2" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2012 12:00 am<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: </span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody"></span><table width="90%" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="3" border="0" align="center"><tr> <td><span class="genmed"><b>Joker wrote:</b></span></td> </tr> <tr> <td class="quote"></span><table width="90%" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="3" border="0" align="center"><tr> <td><span class="genmed"><b>Rainy wrote:</b></span></td> </tr> <tr> <td class="quote">...Have you ever tried simply talking to other people? Expecting others to read your mind isn't going to work.</td> </tr></table><span class="postbody"> <br /> <br />Your right but if your family knows you well enough they should be able to sense what is bothering you.</td> </tr></table><span class="postbody"> <br /> <br />And then you blame them when they fail your test of love?</span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row1"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>Joker</b></span></td> <td class="row1" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:08 pm<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: </span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody"></span><table width="90%" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="3" border="0" align="center"><tr> <td><span class="genmed"><b>Rainy wrote:</b></span></td> </tr> <tr> <td class="quote">...Have you ever tried simply talking to other people? Expecting others to read your mind isn't going to work.</td> </tr></table><span class="postbody"> <br /> <br />Your right but if your family knows you well enough they should be able to sense what is bothering you.</span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row2"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>Rainy</b></span></td> <td class="row2" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:02 pm<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: </span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody">...Have you ever tried simply talking to other people? Expecting others to read your mind isn't going to work.</span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row1"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>auntblabby</b></span></td> <td class="row1" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 10:43 pm<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: </span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: normal">^^^</span> <br />the only thing you are "missing," is that [to paraphrase henry kissenger] "90% of humans give the other 10% a bad reputation. <img src="modules/Forums/images/smiles/hmph.gif" alt="hmph" border="0" /> IOW, "<span style="font-style: italic">hell is other people</span>." IOW pt. deux, a good person [coworker, acquaintance, neighbor, what have you] is hard to find. most people are not to be trusted any further than one can throw a piano. the irish [or mark twain] have an old saying, "<span style="font-style: italic">trust everybody, but cut the cards</span>."</span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row2"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>Nikadee43</b></span></td> <td class="row2" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 10:32 pm<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: </span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody">Since I originally posted this, my depression got so bad that even online socializing felt like an impossible chore ( this is the first time I've logged in in weeks), but my depression went away (however temporary) only a few weeks ago. One day I just didn't hurt anymore, but I still have serious personal issues to work through. I've never seen a doctor about it, but I believe I may have clinical depression. This started in November and never got better until now. It's definitely the longest depression I've ever had. <br /> <br />Anyway, looking through the replies, I noticed many discussing how people are too selfish to try and help. I agree with and understand other points people have made, but I can't help but think that the selfishness is the most truthful. I had a couple of good conversations with one of my roommates who was struggling with having ADHD, and I told him how I was feeling and asked his opinion. He told me that any time he tried to discuss his problems with his closest friends, they disregarded it and never brought it up to him again. Which led him to the belief that such problems are personal and should be dealt with on your own or with a doctor. One morning, I woke up and had to go to work and I practically woke up in tears. It was one of the worse days I'd had since the depression started. I spent most of my shift running back and forth to the bathroom to cry my eyes out. I couldn't talk to anyone without feeling like I would burst into tears again and felt so tired and run down. I could tell it was bothering my co-workers, one of them more than they other, so after I left work that day I sent them a message briefly explaining what was going on (which I hated doing because I didn't want them knowing about my personal issues without knowing if they could really be trusted). One of them wrote me back saying he had no idea I was depressed (even though I had been acting that way for months) and we even talked in person and all he could tell me was how my behavior was making HIM feel. I hadn't been engaging with ANYONE for weeks unless I had to, but he was only considering his feelings. The conversation ended up seeming like I was apologizing to him for what was going on with me. Obviously I don't want my behavior to make anyone feel bad, but aside from not speaking to anyone, I wasn't doing anything hurtful. I was still helpful at work, I didn't everything I was supposed to do. If someone asked me to do something, I did it. If someone asked me a question, I answered, even if it was a short answer. If I heard or noticed that someone else was having a hard time with something, I stepped out of my isolation to check in with them and make sure that they were okay. I wasn't more talkative or engaging with some people and less with others. But yet, he took my behavior so personally and even told another co-worker it felt like he had lost a friend. <br /> <br />Please tell me if <span style="text-decoration: underline">I'm</span> [/u] now sounding selfish, but how does someone take depressive behavior that personally? How can they not connect the dots and see that something was honestly wrong? Especially someone that you've been around almost everyday for the past 3 years and says they consider you to be a close friend. I really don't think I should have had to apologize for how I was acting, particularly since I really couldn't help it. I eventually had a conversation with the other person I wrote the message to, and he was able to realize I was having serious problems even though he didn't know for sure if it was depression. Is there something that I'm missing?</span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row1"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>auntblabby</b></span></td> <td class="row1" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2012 11:37 pm<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: </span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody">these are still the dark ages, period. <img src="modules/Forums/images/smiles/hmph.gif" alt="hmph" border="0" /></span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> </table>
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