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[quote="OliveOilMom"]The Dad is the guy who was in "Six Feet Under". I think I've seen the kid in a commercial somewhere. I'll have to Google now.[/quote]
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<table border="0" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1" width="100%" class="forumline"> <tr> <th class="thCornerL" width="22%" height="26">Author</th> <th class="thCornerR">Message</th> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row1"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>OliveOilMom</b></span></td> <td class="row1" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 3:22 am<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: </span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody">The Dad is the guy who was in "Six Feet Under". I think I've seen the kid in a commercial somewhere. I'll have to Google now.</span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row2"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>munch15a</b></span></td> <td class="row2" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 1:51 am<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: </span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody">I agree with your first post nuff said</span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row1"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>glider18</b></span></td> <td class="row1" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 10:28 pm<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: drama</span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody">I watched the TV clip from the OP---it is dramatic in order to fulfill the entertainment needs of television. It is probably accurate with many families, and not accurate with others. I have Asperger's, and my wife and I suspected our youngest son had Asperger's when we scheduled him for a diagnosis from a child psychiatrist specializing in things like autism. Here was our day---we go through the evaluation, and after testing the psychiatrist said, "It is of my professional opinion that your son has Asperger's." He recommended we get an IEP with our school. Were we upset? No. Was our son upset? No. What did we do? Well...we left the psychiatrist's office and ate at Olive Garden. Then we went home and lived our normal routine. When school started a few weeks later, we got the IEP---and things are going well.</span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row2"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>Feralucce</b></span></td> <td class="row2" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 3:37 pm<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: </span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody">just my 2 cents... <br /> <br />I have watched the show. They mostly get it right. the little boy, Max, has Asperger's. His is not severe. It's not mild. The program has been touted as having a realistic portrayal by psychiatric professionals, parents of autistic spectrum individuals and by the other asperger's individuals I know. (I have no frame of reference as I was not diagnosed until adulthood.) <br /> <br />The executive producer, Jason Katims, has an Asperger's son. Teachers at the Nexus school, said said many elements of the show rang true. Some parents of children with Asperger's say they are thrilled just to have the subject treated in a compassionate way, which they hope will lead to greater understanding. <br /> <br />That being said, I am annoyed by any "very special episode" Promo... but i do not think that the parents were over acting in any way. I have seen the same expression on faces when I have to explain "What is wrong" with me. <br /> <br />All in all... meh.</span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row1"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>webcam</b></span></td> <td class="row1" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 2:11 pm<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: </span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody">guess i need to read dates too...</span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row2"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>webcam</b></span></td> <td class="row2" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 2:00 pm<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: </span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody">I love how they move the conversation directly to "you have autism..." While the two are related, I wouldn't worry so much about aspergers being part of autism, it promotes the misconception that aspergers = stupid which in turn makes it harder for a kid to accept that he has aspergers. With our unique social sensitivities, why make us feel intellectually challenged when we are anything but? Rather, bring aspie kids into a social culture of their own kind. Treat them with respect for their their talents and interests and help them form a vision for their entry and contributions to society. There is nothing cry worthy about having aspergers or having a kid with it. Though NBC seems to think they can make a "powerful" drama out of it... ridiculous...</span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row1"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>aspie48</b></span></td> <td class="row1" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 10:32 am<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: </span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody"></span><table width="90%" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="3" border="0" align="center"><tr> <td><span class="genmed"><b>Cornflake wrote:</b></span></td> </tr> <tr> <td class="quote"></span><table width="90%" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="3" border="0" align="center"><tr> <td><span class="genmed"><b>aspie48 wrote:</b></span></td> </tr> <tr> <td class="quote"></span><table width="90%" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="3" border="0" align="center"><tr> <td><span class="genmed"><b>ci wrote:</b></span></td> </tr> <tr> <td class="quote">I do not watch T.V. I am glad you understand what I'm saying.</td> </tr></table><span class="postbody">Welcome back ci! </td> </tr></table><span class="postbody">This thread is almost a year old, and ci's post was made on Fri Mar 04; he is not back.</td> </tr></table><span class="postbody">o my bad i need to read the dates <img src="modules/Forums/images/smiles/icon_mad.gif" alt="Mad" border="0" /></span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row2"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>Cornflake</b></span></td> <td class="row2" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 8:25 am<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: </span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody"></span><table width="90%" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="3" border="0" align="center"><tr> <td><span class="genmed"><b>aspie48 wrote:</b></span></td> </tr> <tr> <td class="quote"></span><table width="90%" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="3" border="0" align="center"><tr> <td><span class="genmed"><b>ci wrote:</b></span></td> </tr> <tr> <td class="quote">I do not watch T.V. I am glad you understand what I'm saying.</td> </tr></table><span class="postbody">Welcome back ci! </td> </tr></table><span class="postbody">This thread is almost a year old, and ci's post was made on Fri Mar 04; he is not back.</span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row1"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>BuyerBeware</b></span></td> <td class="row1" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2012 10:52 pm<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: </span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody">Mmmmm... Think I'll continue to categorically avoid any media representation of ASD's (other than watching Big Bang Theory with my MIL, 'cause it makes her happy). All they ever seem to serve to do is piss me off. <br /> <br />I'm pissed off enough.</span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row2"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>aspie48</b></span></td> <td class="row2" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2012 9:21 pm<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: </span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody"></span><table width="90%" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="3" border="0" align="center"><tr> <td><span class="genmed"><b>ci wrote:</b></span></td> </tr> <tr> <td class="quote">I do not watch T.V. I am glad you understand what I'm saying.</td> </tr></table><span class="postbody">Welcome back ci! my take on this whole issue is that this representation ain't all that bad. i was here for the bad old days when people on national news said we all deserved to die for being autistic. unless someone says or implies something like <span style="font-weight: bold">that</span> then its not a big enough del to worry about a minor dramatization or misrepresentation. i mean our time would be much better spent protesting the judge rottenburg center or Jenny McCarthy than a slightly skewed TV show.</span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row1"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>Tokiodarling21</b></span></td> <td class="row1" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2012 8:23 pm<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: </span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody">Don't you think that it's possible that b/c Bob Wright used to work for NBC and now runs Autism Speaks, NBC is cashing in on the whole "Make Autism look bad" spectacle? <img src="modules/Forums/images/smiles/icon_confused.gif" alt="Confused" border="0" /> <br />I mean if you really think about where they came from, Autism Speaks could very well be an NBC-plugged "charity". <br /> <br />I recall seeing an "Autism Speaks" telethon on Youtube a while back while was broadcast on a florida NBC affiliate <br /> <br /><object width="660" height="405"> <param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/XNGJSZAVaTs"></param> <embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/XNGJSZAVaTs&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6&border=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="660" height="405"></embed></object><br /><a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=XNGJSZAVaTs&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6&border=0" target="_blank"></a><br /></span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row2"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>katzefrau</b></span></td> <td class="row2" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 11:11 pm<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: </span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody"></span><table width="90%" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="3" border="0" align="center"><tr> <td><span class="genmed"><b>jat wrote:</b></span></td> </tr> <tr> <td class="quote"></span><table width="90%" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="3" border="0" align="center"><tr> <td><span class="genmed"><b>katzefrau wrote:</b></span></td> </tr> <tr> <td class="quote"></span><table width="90%" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="3" border="0" align="center"><tr> <td><span class="genmed"><b>jat wrote:</b></span></td> </tr> <tr> <td class="quote">Much as I understand your perspective, I also understand the parent perspective here. Telling one's child that s/he is different, no matter what the difference is, is difficult. Kids don't want to hear it (usually), and unless they've already been asking about it, it's a very, very difficult discussion - not because it's autism or asperger's - just because it's a parent telling the child that s/he's different from his/her peers. It can be dyslexia, ADHD,Tourette's - anything that requires an explanation for why the child is different from the other kids. It's hard on the kid and it's hard on the parents. Parents know that the kid is likely to struggle with teasing, some academics, etc. Saying it out loud, to their child, makes it more real, and it hurts them - not because their child is dying, but because parents hate to watch their child hurting.</td> </tr></table><span class="postbody"> <br /> <br />saying it out loud does not make it real. if it's real it's real. saying it out loud means you aren't hiding it anymore. <br />to an aspie an untruth (or confusion / ambiguity) is the most painful thing in the world. and a child that is different than other kids is likely hurting, with or without an explanation. <br /> <br />i am an adult and this (truth vs. sugar coating things or avoiding topics) is an argument i've had with my mother ad nauseam all my life and she cannot understand. <br /> <br />it is not the label and the disclosure which creates the condition. the condition is there and causes difficulties whether you name and demystify it or not. you don't save someone from hurt by ignoring it (or being hesitant to talk about it). when you address it directly you can develop coping strategies and focus on strengths, as well as alleviating any feelings of shame the child might have. <br /> <br />i don't even care about the show Parenthood or TV at all for that matter. i just happened to read this and i had to say something to that post. <br /> <br />it's only fair to address this sort of thing directly, and doubly, triply so with someone with Asperger's who is likely to be very adamant about direct communication.</td> </tr></table><span class="postbody"> <br /> <br />I agree with you - and as soon as my son was indicating awareness that he was different from other kids, we told him of his diagnosis, in a positive way. Now, years later, he identifies strongly and positively as a person with Asperger's. My words were a bit sloppy</td> </tr></table><span class="postbody"> <br /> <br />mine too, maybe .. thanks for reading and responding to what i had to say. it sounds like you have the right idea with your son.</span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row1"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>Mysty</b></span></td> <td class="row1" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 8:10 pm<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: Re: Anyone else annoyed by the Parenthood promo?</span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody"></span><table width="90%" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="3" border="0" align="center"><tr> <td><span class="genmed"><b>amusedviews wrote:</b></span></td> </tr> <tr> <td class="quote">What was soo annoying was that the parents looked so HORRIFIED like they were about to tell him he has cancer and is gonna die. Having aspergers can be really hard at times, but never enough to justify the dramatic promo NBC was running. It was just ridiculous.</td> </tr></table><span class="postbody"> <br /> <br />I didn't think they looked horrified, but they did look like, well, like it's something very serious, and like they are telling the child something the child doesn't know, rather than giving the known a label. I suppose it's possible the child is young enough that that could be the case. Not sure though. I really don't know at what age people with Asperger's generally realize they are different.</span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row2"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>jat</b></span></td> <td class="row2" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 7:16 am<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: </span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody"></span><table width="90%" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="3" border="0" align="center"><tr> <td><span class="genmed"><b>katzefrau wrote:</b></span></td> </tr> <tr> <td class="quote"></span><table width="90%" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="3" border="0" align="center"><tr> <td><span class="genmed"><b>jat wrote:</b></span></td> </tr> <tr> <td class="quote">Much as I understand your perspective, I also understand the parent perspective here. Telling one's child that s/he is different, no matter what the difference is, is difficult. Kids don't want to hear it (usually), and unless they've already been asking about it, it's a very, very difficult discussion - not because it's autism or asperger's - just because it's a parent telling the child that s/he's different from his/her peers. It can be dyslexia, ADHD,Tourette's - anything that requires an explanation for why the child is different from the other kids. It's hard on the kid and it's hard on the parents. Parents know that the kid is likely to struggle with teasing, some academics, etc. Saying it out loud, to their child, makes it more real, and it hurts them - not because their child is dying, but because parents hate to watch their child hurting.</td> </tr></table><span class="postbody"> <br /> <br />saying it out loud does not make it real. if it's real it's real. saying it out loud means you aren't hiding it anymore. <br />to an aspie an untruth (or confusion / ambiguity) is the most painful thing in the world. and a child that is different than other kids is likely hurting, with or without an explanation. <br /> <br />i am an adult and this (truth vs. sugar coating things or avoiding topics) is an argument i've had with my mother ad nauseam all my life and she cannot understand. <br /> <br />it is not the label and the disclosure which creates the condition. the condition is there and causes difficulties whether you name and demystify it or not. you don't save someone from hurt by ignoring it (or being hesitant to talk about it). when you address it directly you can develop coping strategies and focus on strengths, as well as alleviating any feelings of shame the child might have. <br /> <br />i don't even care about the show Parenthood or TV at all for that matter. i just happened to read this and i had to say something to that post. <br /> <br />it's only fair to address this sort of thing directly, and doubly, triply so with someone with Asperger's who is likely to be very adamant about direct communication.</td> </tr></table><span class="postbody"> <br /> <br />I agree with you - and as soon as my son was indicating awareness that he was different from other kids, we told him of his diagnosis, in a positive way. Now, years later, he identifies strongly and positively as a person with Asperger's. My words were a bit sloppy, and I'm sorry. I didn't mean that saying out loud makes it more real - for many people, though, saying it out loud makes it <span style="font-style: italic">feel</span> more real. And if those parents were hiding or in denial, they won't be able to do it anymore. That hurts the parent - and if they do it badly, it hurts the child, too. I've read so many posts here from people who wish they'd been told, or told earlier. I'm very glad we shared the information with our son when we did.</span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="22%" align="left" valign="top" class="row1"><span class="name"><a name=""></a><b>katzefrau</b></span></td> <td class="row1" height="28" valign="top"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr> <td width="100%"><img src="http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/icon_minipost.gif" width="12" height="9" alt="Post" title="Post" border="0" /><span class="postdetails">Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 2:22 am<span class="gen"> </span> Post subject: </span></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><hr /></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2"><span class="postbody"></span><table width="90%" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="3" border="0" align="center"><tr> <td><span class="genmed"><b>jat wrote:</b></span></td> </tr> <tr> <td class="quote">Much as I understand your perspective, I also understand the parent perspective here. Telling one's child that s/he is different, no matter what the difference is, is difficult. Kids don't want to hear it (usually), and unless they've already been asking about it, it's a very, very difficult discussion - not because it's autism or asperger's - just because it's a parent telling the child that s/he's different from his/her peers. It can be dyslexia, ADHD,Tourette's - anything that requires an explanation for why the child is different from the other kids. It's hard on the kid and it's hard on the parents. Parents know that the kid is likely to struggle with teasing, some academics, etc. Saying it out loud, to their child, makes it more real, and it hurts them - not because their child is dying, but because parents hate to watch their child hurting.</td> </tr></table><span class="postbody"> <br /> <br />saying it out loud does not make it real. if it's real it's real. saying it out loud means you aren't hiding it anymore. <br />to an aspie an untruth (or confusion / ambiguity) is the most painful thing in the world. and a child that is different than other kids is likely hurting, with or without an explanation. <br /> <br />i am an adult and this (truth vs. sugar coating things or avoiding topics) is an argument i've had with my mother ad nauseam all my life and she cannot understand. <br /> <br />it is not the label and the disclosure which creates the condition. the condition is there and causes difficulties whether you name and demystify it or not. you don't save someone from hurt by ignoring it (or being hesitant to talk about it). when you address it directly you can develop coping strategies and focus on strengths, as well as alleviating any feelings of shame the child might have. <br /> <br />i don't even care about the show Parenthood or TV at all for that matter. i just happened to read this and i had to say something to that post. <br /> <br />it's only fair to address this sort of thing directly, and doubly, triply so with someone with Asperger's who is likely to be very adamant about direct communication.</span></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" height="1" class="spaceRow"><img src="modules/Forums/templates/subSilver/images/spacer.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></td> </tr> </table>
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