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recycledwit
Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2012 12:22 pm
Post subject:
I am bi (I'm married to a guy after all), but have always desired a relationship with a female. Perhaps I'm too scared to do it? Doesn't matter now unless something happens since, again, I'm married.
When I was little, I was a SUPER tomboy - wanted to be a farmer when I grew up, never brushed my hair, played with guys at recess. But I got crushes on females in my class and would obsess over them quietly or try to be their friend. I think I remember kissing a girl on the cheek in 3rd grade and getting a real rush from it though not knowing at all what it meant. My stepsisters and I also "pretend made-out" when playing house (I was ALWAYS the father) and it would really get me going (something I felt guilty about). I also humped the hell out of my My-Size Barbie and wanted her lips to be real so badly.
My relationships, however, have almost always been with guys (and almost always been unfulfilling).
I've entertained the idea that I'm actually more of a lesbian and just never got enough confidence to pursue it, but AGAIN, I'm married.
TL;DR - I've been attracted to females past a friendship level since I was very little but never knew to pursue it until it was too late and I was too embarrassed to have a relationship with anything other than a male.
Tambourine-Man
Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 12:52 am
Post subject:
4kingimbaseal wrote:
It took me quite a while to figure it out actually.
I grew up in a very homophobic city, which I luckily no longer live in. At 13 like all 'normal' boys I knew I was attracted to girls. At 13, all the boys I knew seemed to want to do nothing but find a thousand and one reasons to label each other 'gay'. I never knew how to deal with this 'insult' (or at least intended insult) except by telling then no, I was not into guys. But no; apparently because I didn't talk or think about sex the same way as the other guys, this made me gay. (Secretly, I knew I was
far
more sexual than they could ever be, because they could conceive of nothing more than vanilla, male-initiated, male-focused sex). In an attempt to fit in, as I was already very 'different' as an aspie , I pretended to share their homophobic attitudes for a few years. (I remain very ashamed of that to this day, but it would not be honest to leave this part out).
At 18, I moved to a different city, and started university. Around the time of my nineteenth birthday, a female friend asked me if I would ever kiss a guy. For the first time, I decided to search inside myself honestly for an answer, which was 'yes, sure, I wonder if it's any different to kissing girls'. At this point in my life I had only ever kissed one girl anyway, and never had sex. I didn't specifically see guys as attractive and worth pursuing sexually, but just wondered what it felt like.
Fast forward one year to April 2010, around my 20th birthday. At this point I was ready to consider myself properly bisexual, having kissed a total of eight people, three of which were male. I had watched The All-American Rejects' video for Gives You Hell and thought to myself, damn, Tyson Ritter is just as hot as the girls in the video, if not more so. I think this realisation was finally admitting to myself that yes, I like both sexes. I also recognised that there may have been an element of (repressed) attraction to two guys I had known earlier in my life, as well as the admiration I had for them. One was a 30-year-old American new-age musician that had stayed in my parents' house a few weeks when I was 18, and the other was a friend roughly my age that I had known for a few years - he was so incredibly good at computer games when we had LAN parties that he, to me, represented the ultimate 'win'. In retrospect, I can say that at least one other male friend that we LANned with felt a similar way and would often make 'gay' jokes with him.
I am currently 21 and have kissed 16 girls and 8 guys, so the trend continues....
My story is pretty similiar to this. I find I'm sexually attracted to both genders, but emotionally more attracted to guys. The emotional attraction increases the sexual and attraction and there you have it.
I only just started seeing my first boyfriend. Took a long time for to figure out.
craiglll
Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2012 2:34 pm
Post subject:
I don't know how I knew. An older girl in my neighborhood used to show me her tits all the time and have me rub them. It disgusted me but I don't think it did so in a gay way but in an abused way, I didn't want to do it. Also no girls were every responsive to me and I was constantly bullied by straight guys. I had real sex for the firs time when I was 15 with a guy. I wasn't attracted to him but I loved the sex. I kept having sex with him. Then I went to college and all hell broke lose. I was tormented constantly on being different and gay. I didn't know I was and I had a girlfriend who slept in my room with me when my roommate went home every weekend.
I left that college and went elsewhere to a more liberal college. I was still afraid to come out to anyone but the safest people. It was in my hometown but very separated. I also worked full time so I didn't have many friends there. I am still some what of a loner and want to be more open but I think it isn't open as much as knowing how. I have really bad "gaydar." So I don't pick up on signals too well. Also I hate to be touched in some was so that makees it harder
But I think I have always been gay.
teenempath
Posted: Sun Jan 01, 2012 5:10 pm
Post subject: How did I know?
I knew because I had sexual attraction towards women for years but tried to deny it. I would look up videos of sexually explicit content of women and become aroused and had dreams of having sex with other women( which were fun by the way!) and when I like a girl it shows because I'm not afraid to check out girls now and I smile a-lot too and people notice. I still have sexual attraction towards men too. No one in my family is bisexual but there is some gay and lesbianism in my family, which all in all tells me I was born bisexual!
4kingimbaseal
Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2011 7:23 pm
Post subject:
It took me quite a while to figure it out actually.
I grew up in a very homophobic city, which I luckily no longer live in. At 13 like all 'normal' boys I knew I was attracted to girls. At 13, all the boys I knew seemed to want to do nothing but find a thousand and one reasons to label each other 'gay'. I never knew how to deal with this 'insult' (or at least intended insult) except by telling then no, I was not into guys. But no; apparently because I didn't talk or think about sex the same way as the other guys, this made me gay. (Secretly, I knew I was
far
more sexual than they could ever be, because they could conceive of nothing more than vanilla, male-initiated, male-focused sex). In an attempt to fit in, as I was already very 'different' as an aspie , I pretended to share their homophobic attitudes for a few years. (I remain very ashamed of that to this day, but it would not be honest to leave this part out).
At 18, I moved to a different city, and started university. Around the time of my nineteenth birthday, a female friend asked me if I would ever kiss a guy. For the first time, I decided to search inside myself honestly for an answer, which was 'yes, sure, I wonder if it's any different to kissing girls'. At this point in my life I had only ever kissed one girl anyway, and never had sex. I didn't specifically see guys as attractive and worth pursuing sexually, but just wondered what it felt like.
Fast forward one year to April 2010, around my 20th birthday. At this point I was ready to consider myself properly bisexual, having kissed a total of eight people, three of which were male. I had watched The All-American Rejects' video for Gives You Hell and thought to myself, damn, Tyson Ritter is just as hot as the girls in the video, if not more so. I think this realisation was finally admitting to myself that yes, I like both sexes. I also recognised that there may have been an element of (repressed) attraction to two guys I had known earlier in my life, as well as the admiration I had for them. One was a 30-year-old American new-age musician that had stayed in my parents' house a few weeks when I was 18, and the other was a friend roughly my age that I had known for a few years - he was so incredibly good at computer games when we had LAN parties that he, to me, represented the ultimate 'win'. In retrospect, I can say that at least one other male friend that we LANned with felt a similar way and would often make 'gay' jokes with him.
I am currently 21 and have kissed 16 girls and 8 guys, so the trend continues....
LiendaBalla
Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2011 7:24 pm
Post subject:
The signals I admit that my brain gets when I start sneaking glances.
Lubbe
Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2011 7:25 am
Post subject:
I never even considered myself as anything other than bisexual. I noticed that I liked girls and guys in equal measure when everybody else started to notice the differences between the sexes.
rainbowlolly
Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2011 3:57 am
Post subject:
I know I am bisexual because my first few crushes were on girls, even from a very young age. I have been out with a girl before and it was very comfortable for me.
I sometimes prefer women to men.
ChessChick
Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2011 11:06 pm
Post subject: How did I know....
I have known my whole life that I find females way more attractive than males. But, I was very closeted up until a few years ago and I dated only men. I hated it and wanted to date women but I live in a small town. Now, I'm out and so happy with myself and life. I'm single, but happy to be a proud lesbian and no longer be lying to the world about who I am.
ShenLong
Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2011 6:56 pm
Post subject:
It was difficult for me to tell. I'm bi, but just a little bit. Like one step away from straight on the Kinsey Scale. Just as well, I lean towards asexuality. When I was younger I used to get a little bit attracted to males. I used to stress about it at the time. Kids at school had been bullying me verbally and psychologically by telling me that I was gay because I wasn't super-attracted to girls. I began questioning whether or not I was gay and my mom would comfort me and tell me I wasn't. I'd obsess over it. She told me that it was a combination of the bullying, the medicine I was taking at the time, and the fact that I was going through puberty. I stopped worrying and eventually started to really like girls for a while. That died down. I later on began to think about it again. And, I guess I don't know. Being a furry kind of helped because the largest group in terms of sexual orientation in the fandom tends to be Bi and a lot of them seem(the competent ones) to be decent people. In fact most of the fandom falls under LGBT and stuff with only like a quarter identifying as straight.
I tend to have very, very minor crushes on people who are at least decent-looking, are likely or known to be gay or bi, and who are modest about that kind of thing. I don't like flamboyant people. I like for people to act rather normal. Another criteria is that we have to share a lot of interests and that they kind of need to be as competent and intelligent as I am or in that neighbourhood. Personality is the biggest factor for me for both males and females. I'm not sure if I'm terribly interested in same sex intercourse, though. However, since I'm not 100% bi, I'm easily more attracted to women.
Squirsh
Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 12:21 pm
Post subject:
My first ever crush (when I was about 7) was on a girl, so that's when I figured out there was something different. As I got older I had a pretty equal amount of crushes on boys and girls, then I heard somebody use the word "bisexual" in a conversation and I went home and looked it up to see what it meant, and realised it described me.
xxHufflepuffxx
Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 9:53 am
Post subject:
I guess for a long time I was attracted to both genders but when I was 14 there was an incident when I came out to my classmates. I got bullied a lot. Now I'm glad I came out because I've made a few good, close friends along the way. I'm 19 now and I've had a few very good relationships with both men and women but I will also like women over men. There's just something about us that is special. I like it. I'm with a guy right now and he understands that I'm bisexual and I prefer females, but he's just so great I can't cut him loose.
pippilngstkngpr
Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 4:10 pm
Post subject:
There was a post on here awhile ago and I couldn't tell if i was bisexual or straight but I've always liked women just never been with one. In January 2011 this year I was with my first girlfriend and it was the best experience and it really gave me a perspective about myself. I found out why I always been second guessing. Family and friends told me if you were bisexual you'd be saying "That girl looks good" instead of just guys but I realized I did that because I had certain friends who weren't cool with being bisexual and it was awkward. I wasn't embarrassed about myself in any way to be bisexual; I just really wanted to make sure by being with a girl.
I now know I bisexual; sometimes I question being a lesbian but I know 100% I am bisexual. I guess, I equally prefer both sexes. But I started liking girls around 11 or 12 years old. I even around that age started guessing my gender that I wanted to be a guy but that passed. Now I am know I am bisexual and proud!
Also, something I want to add; I hate that a lot of people think because you are bisexual you date both sexes. They need to realized bisexual, gay/lesbian, straight those are sexual orientations. If you are polygamous then you date more then one person but you don't have to be bisexual to do so. I just wish more people understood that.
retrom
Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2011 6:14 pm
Post subject:
I didn't really, for the longest time. Eventually in high school I met a very hot bi girl but more than the thought of seeing her with another woman (Which I would have paid any price to see) it was like the word "bisexual" was stuck in my head. I started to think back about a lot of my "best friends" and realized we weren't just good friends, I actually had crushes on them. The actual sex part I wasn't so sure of.
When I finally got in bed with a guy I told him I might change my mind half way but... It was funner than I thought. I still prefer women but now I know the difference in relating to a guy and having a crush on him, and that I can have fun in bed with guys too.
anneurysm
Posted: Mon Sep 05, 2011 4:20 am
Post subject:
I have always been attracted to both genders, and would get 'crushes' on both boys and girls as a kid. I have also been sexually attracted to both genders as long as I can remember, but seem to have a sexual preference for women and a romantic preference for men. I was never comfortable revealling this until I was 21 and was invited to have a threesome with a guy I was seeing. The woman involved was my lover for two years and I developed an extremely close friendship with her...the best one I have ever had. Although she has moved away and is in a relationship with a guy now, we will be friends forever, and I credit her so much with helping me become comfortable with that side of myself.
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