Did anyone else here make it through Uni
As an adult, taking night classes.
They were very intense, but, only lasted half a semester. By the time I built up anxiety about a course, it was on the downward slope.
A real mental and emotional roller coaster that way, but, I got through it better than the traditional model.
nerdygirl
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,645
Location: In the land of abstractions and ideas.
I made it through, and I was of the average age.
However, it was hard - not the coursework, but keeping track of things and some social issues. I had lots and lots of meltdowns, and I lived in a constant state of frustration and being annoyed by everything and everyone. I did not know then what my problem was or how I needed to care for myself. Neither did I know how to properly communicate with my professors to explain to them my difficulties. I became overwhelmed with keeping track of deadlines and "overdoing" projects. My perfectionist tendencies were a big, big problem. Also, while I was a good student and did not procrastinate, certain weeks were complete overload, and I had difficulty deciding what I needed to focus on and what to skip. I probably picked the wrong things often.
I lived at home and had the support of my parents, and my future husband. Other people were also urging me to continue on, push, through and finish. My last year, I lived in the dorms - I wish I had not done so. That contributed to some sensory overload. The kids in the next rooms were very noisy or wanted to talk all hours of the night. Some kids slept through their alarms or forget to turn them off and the beeping could be heard through the wall for hours.
There were several times I wanted to quit. My parents were paying for my schooling and basically gave me an ultimatum that if I didn't go straight through, that was it: no more money for school. I might have even have been required to pay them back for the semesters I went. That, and their communication of extreme disappointment, was pretty strong motivation to finish.
I have read elsewhere that it is difficult for Aspies to go straight through college, if they graduate at all.
I did enjoy most of my classes, even if they weren't in my major, because I generally got to choose ones of interest to me. I found college much better than high school, all around. It was much more interesting, and being able to choose my own schedule was great. Maybe going part-time would be easier. I don't know if that is so doable for music majors, though.
starrynightmare
Blue Jay
Joined: 12 Mar 2013
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 98
Location: Orlando, FL, USA
Yes, I graduated with my Bachelors, Masters and PhD in chemistry from different universities. It did take me longer than some would, but part of that was due to an abusive research adviser in grad school who kept switching research projects on me (and never letting me finish them on purpose). It was not easy, but I found that I could cope with those issues best if I spent most of my time buried deep in my research work. I had to constantly out-think my adviser to graduate, something that is very rarely successfully done by grad students, as the advisers have all of the power. My social life was almost zero, only when forced into it by departmental demands (ie. required student gatherings). I now teach at a university in my field of study.
I just about got through my biology degree as I had an abusive research adviser too.
I should have known something was off when each student was given a choice of what professor to work under and he had several slots open. i.e. no one wanted to work with him.
I answered a question that he thought would trip me up and he called me a bastard in front of the whole class.
Luckily another one of the professors liked me and gave me some makeup work to do.
In the end though I was never able to get a job in that field and got into a controlling relationship where I have not been able to work, or even get a bank account due to being put in a bad immigration legal position for ten years.
I should have known something was off when each student was given a choice of what professor to work under and he had several slots open. i.e. no one wanted to work with him.
I answered a question that he thought would trip me up and he called me a bastard in front of the whole class.
Luckily another one of the professors liked me and gave me some makeup work to do.
In the end though I was never able to get a job in that field and got into a controlling relationship where I have not been able to work, or even get a bank account due to being put in a bad immigration legal position for ten years.
Yes, having a bad research adviser can be detrimental to your academic survival. The best advice to someone entering graduate school is to make sure you pick the right adviser. Check with the older graduate students to see what their reputation as an adviser is before making a decision that you will regret. If you get a good one, you will have a much easier time than with a bad one. I caught my research adviser doing unethical things multiple times over the years (like discussing cume exam scores of other graduate students to one particular student and how some deserved to be flunked out of the program because he did not like them as an example), but was prevented from doing anything about it by fellow group members that he favored. He finally crossed the line one too many times and I got him in hot water for it (with the evidence in hand). In the end, the department backed me up and allowed me the opportunity to finish my PhD without him as my adviser. I figured he cost me at least three to four additional years in grad school.
Yes, having a bad research adviser can be detrimental to your academic survival. The best advice to someone entering graduate school is to make sure you pick the right adviser. Check with the older graduate students to see what their reputation as an adviser is before making a decision that you will regret. If you get a good one, you will have a much easier time than with a bad one. I caught my research adviser doing unethical things multiple times over the years (like discussing cume exam scores of other graduate students to one particular student and how some deserved to be flunked out of the program because he did not like them as an example), but was prevented from doing anything about it by fellow group members that he favored. He finally crossed the line one too many times and I got him in hot water for it (with the evidence in hand). In the end, the department backed me up and allowed me the opportunity to finish my PhD without him as my adviser. I figured he cost me at least three to four additional years in grad school.
Sheesh! What a POS ! !! !
I'm sry to hear that you were fvcked over like that!
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