Is it a good idea to tell friends about aspergers

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I am new to forums but here goes.

I'm 30 year old and have aspergers with anxiety and elements of adhd. I was only diagnosed 4 years ago but haven't done anything about it because well you get the diagnosis then get sent on your merry way without any support. In a way I was too busy trying to cope with life to think about it. I don't always have problems making friends because I have good coping strategies to fit in as much as possible. It's only once people get closer and know me for 2 years or more that they notice many of my odd behaviours and insecurities. Two of my closest friends have fallen out with me because I didn't understand how to deal with a situation where we'd fallen out. I began obsessing about one small part of the situation and didn't look at the larger picture. They said I was far too needy and clingy and that it freaked everyone we know out. I had told them that I had adhd as it's more accepted than telling people you have aspergers or autism.

Anyway I can't help but feel I should have been honest with them about my full condition and maybe this fallout wouldn't have happened. I'm also thinking it may be best to tell my other friends that they said think I'm needy and clingy. Nobodies ever approached me about it.

I put so much effort into fitting in and socialising that I am insecure and when I think about it I doubt I'll ever be any different.

So is it going to help or make things worse by telling people?

It depends on who your "friends" are. If you are uncomfortable disclosing your AS to them their is probably a problem.

I tell people, because the way I look at it, if they don't want to be friends with me after that, then they were not meant to be friends with me anyway.

I've never told anyone outside of the family, so people think I'm weird and that I choose to be who I am. I just can't tell people!!

I only tell people after I've known them a little while and its become clear that we are going to interact on a regular basis. Sometimes if things are going particularly well I wait until I have to tell them to explain something "weird" I've done.

I only tell people after I decide they are a good person to be friends with and I have known them for at least a few months.

I think it's a good idea to tell friends about it. I don't feel like people can really understand me if they don't know I have Asperger's. But I don't like to tell people right off the bat; I like to wait until we've gotten to know each other a little better.

Seems to be the way to go then. It's only fair on them too because they should know I'm not going to change. If it's a problem for them then we can distance ourselves and nobody will get hurt. Logical.

How should I approach it? There's about 5 friends I want to tell. Can I just bring it up or do I have to wait until an opportunity presents itself?

Once you are close friends with them, yes. Don't try to explain it to new (potential) friends because then they might be put off by it and think you're "weird". Yes, your current friends still might, but we all have preconceived notions. But if they already know you, they will probably realize that they didn't know much about AS and you're pretty ok. But if they don't know anything about you except what you said about AS, they might have other impressions of you, and ditch you/be creeped out by you.

It's a good idea if you want to find out who your real friends are...

That comment is a bit extreme but I think it depends on how you present it, I have thought of something like: "hey, you always thought I was a bit different from other people, guess what I found many other like me" Never tried it though. Once it's said, it is said and don't complain about teasing like "here comes the crazy one" afterward.

I have "real friends" and I've told them,and my close members of my family.I gave my mother a book on it finally for her to read..my father is "too busy" to read about it.My mother really wants to understand it better, and what can help me get forward in life. So that's nice to know.

Perhaps if you wanted to find out who your real friends were, you could tell them. If they don't want to be your friend after finding out that you have AS, then they weren't really friends to begin with.

However, I'd personally (if I were you) not tell anybody because having AS is something I consider to be more personal and not something you would share with everyone you come across.

Depends on the friend. If you can trust them and are somewhat close to them, then there's really no reason why not (assuming you're comfortable with telling people.) If you hardly know them, then it could come across as too intimate for an acquaintance.

The only people that know I have it other than my family and counselors are my two best friends. I'd never tell anyone I'm not extremely close to--I'm too afraid of people making assumptions about me based on my diagnosis before they even really get to know me.

I have to tell them eventually because then they will do things like hug or pat me on the shoulder. Or worse, they will blast the music on in the car and then I will have a big meltdown.

I do not tell people that I just met. Only people I get closer to.

Maybe when you get into a relationship, or start to, if the problems are severe enough. It all depends on how seriously it affects social interaction.

Friendship? Naaaahhh.