I hate writing butt-kissing letters...

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BUR!! !! !! !! !! !! !!

I'm in the midst of writing a statement of (research) purpose for enrolling in a grad program...

and i just hate this kind of writing... where you have to sell yourself...

i feel so... used... and i'm the one usin myself!

I hate that too. Despise it. Can't do it either. The best idea is to forget the whole fake impression-making thing, and forcefully describe what makes you think that it's important that (A) your proposed research be conducted, and (B) you be involved in it for optimal results.
If appropriate (e.g. if expected to give a fair amount of details about yourself), you should certainly mention your AS, explaining explicitly how this gives you qualities as a researcher that are uncommon among others, and implicitly why there may be elements in your writing that do not adhere to certain social conventions.

Sometimes it seems success is built around telling people what they want to hear. Not just in writing, but in everything. It's kind of disgusting when you think about it.

I think it's more important to state your qualifications and why you are fit to do whatever you are applying for, in a matter of fact way, rather than trying to win people over by being all gushy.

I also hate this, but I could see why being self promoting would be useful. Observe.

Hello employer,

I have Asperger syndrome, which causes me (not all Aspies might I add) to be a grumpy sod who cannot do any work for anyone, makes me unable to listen to what you are saying and by the way I don't particularly like people either. I also have Tourette syndrome so very often I will yell rude words in your FACE. And for the love of God, don't ever make noise or touch me because I will go nuts and you'll need to bring my shrink into the place to get me off the door frame!

And as you can see, a bit of gushing is essential because if I sent this to my employer, they would laugh hysterically!

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I have HFA, ADHD, OCD & Tourette syndrome. I love animals, especially my bunnies and hamster. I skate in a roller derby team (but I'll try not to bite )