I can't relate to my coworkers

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I would really like some help please. I just started a job 2 months ago at a retirement home as a dishwasher/server. I wash dishes 3 days a week and serve 1-2 days per week. I am a 24 year old female and I am in the same age group as my coworkers.

My boss told me he wants me to join the servers full time and hire a new dishwasher because the residents like me and he is pleased with my work. I am really stressed out and sad when I am around the other servers and I can't seem to fit in. I love the work, but I can't stand this feeling of being left out. I have tried saying hi to everyone every day... I've tried smiling and being very polite. I've tried asking people questions about their interests and I give compliments when I see fit. I am not dumb about it, I try to be subtle and not try TOO hard. I don't complain or gossip. I don't tell people what to do. I have not told anyone anything gross or TMI about myself.

Anyway, most of my coworkers treat me like crap… especially the other females. I understand that I'm still kind of new, but I know what I'm doing now. I can do what everyone else is doing just fine and I don't need an upper hand to keep me keen. They always sound impatient and they talk to me like I'm so beneath them. They don't thank me and they sound rude when they ask me to do things for them. They also have conversations and share stories with each other without including me… for example, one girl was showing everyone pictures of her new kitten on her phone except me. There is another girl (i'll just call her M) who is very bossy, never sounds happy to see me, and never says hi to me anymore. she looks pissed when I have to tell her that someone needs her in the kitchen. I stopped talking to her when I realized that she wasn't being nice back. She also cornered me in the dish room and asked me to cover her shift while looking me directly in the eyes… she was 3 inches away from my face. I felt so pressured.

When I try to talk to these people, they are not really interested and try to end the conversation. They are never interested in me or what I have to say. I have even tried to talk about funny things with them, and they just say, "oh" or look totally unenthused and walk away. IT's like they don't want to be seen talking to me, the freak.

I feel absolutely horrible all the time. I also think one of the guys is very attractive but he was not helpful when I started and he usually avoids speaking to me. I am shy around him because he makes me so nervous.

I would really like some advice, anything would help. I have already told my boss about this problem and he thinks that things will improve if I spend more time working with them.

I just want to change their minds about me in any way that I can because I can't afford to lose this job. I need the experience and the money. I actually like some of these people a lot, but I think they don't like me.

Hi, I know how you feel, I can't relate to my coworkers either. I'm lucky because they have actually tried to be very friendly to me. But I can't keep up with them. They talk too quickly and when I ask them to repeat they usually never do and ignore it. It's a lot of gossip that I can't keep track of and I don't know how to react in the proper way to what they tell me. It's too fast and I can't concentrate!

I'm accidentally rude to them without realising until I see their reaction. I'm completely socially incompetent. At least when it's a group and people gossip and talk too quickly. It makes me want to be alone but when I'm on my own they think I'm rude for excluding them. Ah well...

I usually tell myself that I don't need them and I'm at work to work and to make money, not to make friends. You are acting like a professional when you are polite to your coworkers who so obviously aren't polite back. Once you have experience you can get a good reference from your employer and then get a nice job somewhere else away from your rude coworkers.

I have a friend who was having similar problems last year. Some of her co-workers seemed jealous of her and irritated by her moral convictions. She did her job and was open about it if something was wrong. She stood her ground and just aimed to be polite to the people who were being jerks to her. Eventually most of the jerks left and the ones who stayed improved because there were more good people there than bad ones. So the problem took care of itself.

I would just hang in there.

My advice would be to try your best to be courteous and nice to them. Don't worry if they dont always include you. You're there to make money, not to make friends so try your best to be friendly and hopefully people will treat you the same. I've heard much worse stories about people being mistreated by their coworker so consider yourself lucky that it's only mildly unpleasant.

I agree with Alex.