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Tamoosh
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10 Aug 2013, 6:42 am

My 8 yr old boy just got his official diagnosis of Aspergers syndrome, It is what I expected but now I just feel so stressed out like I am going to spin out about it. I'm angry cos he has suffered so much at the hands of school bullies , teachers being total idiots and at those who have not taken me seriously, told me it is my parenting at fault and he needs 'more discipline' blah blah.
Now he has to be told and is dad also has to be told which is stressing me out big time as he has never taken it seriously and blanked any suggestion of a learning difficulty. I actually feel scared to do it, anyway, I wondered if anyone has got any advice for telling their child and the rest of the family about their diagnosis, thanks :))



JohnConnor
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10 Aug 2013, 8:47 am

This is not something that is easy to deal with. Your son may not want to accept the fact that he has a disability because he wants to feel like he no different from anybody else. You, I, and now this board knows that he is, but thats ok. Unfortunately I would not know how to break something like this to a child.


I wasn't diagnosed until I was 26. Before that my life was a living hell. You may not realize it right now but now you can breathe a sigh of relief. I mean, he was actually diagnosed as an eight year old. If I would have been diagnosed at eight years old my life would have been significantly less stressful than what it was.


What he is going to need now is a designated helper that the public school system should provide. I live in Cincinnati, OH and I have a friend who is a teacher. He tells me that they have implemented a specialized helper for Asperger children and if the child understands that he has a disability and seeks their help they can do quite well. Some take to the treatment vey well and some children refuse it based on what my friend has told me.

This is something that is new for you to deal with no doubts there. You are about to learn alot more about a subculture of people that you knew existed but knew very little about. To help your son successfully navigate through life you need a team of specialists who are knowledgeable in the ways of Autism and they are out there. Also understand that this will change your life as well as your child's.

But getting him to accept the fact that he has a disability. That I would not know how to do. I'm not a specialist, I'm just a guy with Aspergers who has alot of help.


When my family learned that I had Aspergers they were relieved and so was I. IF it was me I would tell them that your son has a disability and even though it is not visible to the naked eye he still has it and he will always have it but that does not mean he is hopeless. This may or may not be difficult for you I don't know. If you live in North American then you know as well as I do that our population in general aint the best educated population in the world which causes problems, problems that can affect you. Certain aspects of our shared general culture may not work to his favor, such as the ideology of being a rugged individual who can solve all their own problems by themself.



managertina
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10 Aug 2013, 10:34 am

If I were you, I would get together a list of what his Asperger's gives him in terms of a benefit, if you can think of any. Like, a great knowledge of x, or the ability to concentrate on y or visualize z.

You may wish to take a look at this book if it is in your library.

The Survival Guide for Kids with Autism Spectrum Disorders (And Their Parents) by Elizabeth Verdick