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tinky
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19 Aug 2008, 12:40 am

okay, i just started working at a coffee shop and it's really annoying feeling forced to interact with my other co-worker. i'd feel really bad if i didn't talk to my coworker... i bring the daily crossword puzzle and a book to read and i feel bad when i just stand there against the counter reading my book...

i usually work the one to eight or four to eight shifts so we're not really busy during my shifts. any tips for me? anyone been here before?


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Eggman
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19 Aug 2008, 12:49 am

Were I work, some guy started to get picked up by his wife/fiance/gf/whatever, And he decided, as my desk was the one nearest to the edit he would hang oput with me. I was listening to Weird Al on my ipod. So what did he decide to say to start off what he was sure to be a long lasting relationship? You listen to this ++++. Yes not a greeting not telling me who he is, but the first words out of his mouth was a stupid insulting question.
1.I was listening to it so I obvisoaly listen to it.
2 As I was listening to it I must like it.
While I can to an extandt force my seflf to be socialable, these comboination made me unable and I used my favorite stlye of response..sarcasm, He then said I was just trying to be nice. Every day he would hand pout by me. Now I just happened to be listening to Weird Al that day, but from that time on, I only listened to him at that time. Second day he asked if I had any other music. I said Yes. He asked why don't I play it, I said, I didnt want to. Third day I happyly informed, that I was playing Weird AL just for him. Hopeful he would get it. Not at first. He then tried to talk to nme about m,y car, ie asking technical info about it, which I didnt know. I know where to put gas, and how to drive. One day he stoped coming. Maybe he now drove himself, maybe he was downsized, maybe he got it. Maybe had he not started thiongs off like he had it would be different



willem
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19 Aug 2008, 2:20 am

You do not have any sort of obligation to talk with your co-worker more often than you feel like doing.


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nomad21
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19 Aug 2008, 2:29 am

I know EXACTLY what you mean. I get this alot at work. They'll find it tude if you just tell them to go away or ignore them (obviously). I don't intiate the conversation for obvious reasons, but if one of my co-workers tries to talk to me, I usually nod my head and say "yeah" when I don't know what to say, and I try my hardest to give an actual response every once in a while so it doesn't look like I'm not paying attention. Also, I try to maintain eye contact on their mouth, as I cannot maintain eye contact with their eyes.

Other than that I don't know what to tell you, that's what I do, and it works. These social experiences leave me drained afterward, I wish they would just leave me alone, but, oh well.



Keith
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19 Aug 2008, 4:30 am

More details are required. The minimum interaction you need is to communicate with your co-workers if you need assistance, ie you can't do something so you ask if someone else can. Or general queries. Idle conversation is optional. I tend not to talk with anyone unless they talk with me.
If I do start the conversation I start with the simple stuff. How are you, commenting on how they look, if it's a girl, I try to comment on the hair or any other pieces, earrings, etc. Let them know I'm paying attention and have noticed them. My favourite question is "What have you been doing since the last time I saw you?" or "Did you do anything interesting today?" works for me, then I listen to them and try to question a few things, keep it going. That's the hard part