Praise your Children
Say something your Autistic, spectrum Aspie did that was cool or neat or amazing
I got a note the other day that my autistic child wrote a beautiful paragraph independently. Yay!
My typical child also told me this kid stole Christmas candy on a bus from a friend of hers.
My autistic child gave up theirs because the kid was crying.
My typical child than shared candy with my autistic child without being asked.
My son has had a very hard time making friends at school, but this year there is a boy in his class who accepts and likes my son. The kid has stuck up for my son when other kids were picking on him. The boys in his class all play this game at recess where they have teams. My son had never been picked for a team, but this kid decided to be on a team with my son.
So, my son came home the other day and announced he was on a new team. I asked him whether his friend was on the new team with him and he said "no, they only wanted me." I told him that that probably made his friend feel really bad and my son looked really confused and said "no, he looked fine. He was not crying." So, I explained to him that not everybody cries when they are feeling bad, but that this kid has been a really good friend to my son and that he should consider going back to the kid's team. Over the course of the conversation my son explained "well, they wanted me because I brought a notebook so that I could track people's moves and they wanted me to help them win." So, I explained that there was a difference between wanting someone you think could help your team and being a good friend, and I told him that it is was always best to stick with the kids who were ALWAYS nice.
He came home the next day and said that he solved the problem by not bringing his notebook out that day, and went back to the other kid's team. I was so proud of him. All these social nuances are always very hard for him to comprehend, but he understood intellectually that the kid might feel bad after our conversation and sought to fix it for his friend. He really had no clue that he had hurt him, or might have until we talked. When he did understand, though, he showed that he too is a good friend. Love him so much.
My 12 year old's class performed in their christmas concert yesterday evening and my son stood on the stage for both of their songs, and not only that, but also sang a little bit, and did some of the actions! Also, the kid who was supposed to hold his hand when they did part of the routine wasn't there, and he handled that change just fine. They said when they practised he was upset, but on stage he was fine. I'm still getting over the hugeness of this. I am so proud.
My 15 year old son and I went to the mall today and of course it was utter mayhem in there, and he was great. We got in and out so fast because he was cooperating, following me, not grabbing things, keeping his clothes on (often in louder situations he will try to strip), etc. Who would have guessed that my kid would be one of the better behaved children in there?! LOL
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Mum to two awesome kids on the spectrum (16 and 13 years old).
Today after my wife came home with the groceries, instead of tearing through the bags to see what kind of treats were in there my 10yo nonverbal DS spontaneously began putting things away and in the proper places. We made sure to brighten our voices and tell him "good job!"
Also, realizing when he needs to use the toilet and using it appropriately has been improving gradually over the last year but there was some regression over the past few months. This week he's been doing better at home and though we still rely on pull-ups we've noted afterward that the pull-ups he discards have been mostly dry. I'm going to talk with my wife about reintroducing the cotton underpants again - at least for part of the day; they're still needed in the evenings and overnights.
This morning, my son woke up early and asked us to open a box of Legos he got for Christmas for him. He loves Legos, but usually gets very frustrated putting them together, has meltdowns and requires a lot of help. In fact, he usually gives up and wants us to put them together for him ( but ALWAYS wants Lego sets). So, I opened it for him and told him to just put the characters together, then wake me back up when he was ready to build the set. I woke up on my own awhile later to find that he had calmly put together most of the set on his own. We live in close quarters, so I would have heard him cry or yell. He somehow worked through the frustration without melting down or giving up.
On Tuesday DD's horse bucked and she was thrown onto his neck. Then he started cantering and went 4 times around the paddock with her holding onto the bridle for dear life and with her legs wrapped around his neck. she got a compliment of the instructor in the end who told her also she had very strong legs.
I wasn't around when it happened but after she told me the story I told her I had this image of her doing a rodeo in my mind and that it was an amazing story. Next day she went on her private lesson and I told her teacher DD had a good story to tell. DD went all on the defense but in the end the teacher too was all praise about my little rodeo star
I do have to say, I am really proud of how hard DS worked on not "ruining" Christmas for everybody else even though it was really, really hard for him. Not only did he graciously accept gifts that were "wrong," he managed to hang in through a family game of joke-reading and charades (he simply opted not to perform, but participated gracefully by responding to everyone else's performances.)
Every year, S1 pulls a name off the Christmas tree at school to give a gift to a needy child. Not because he's following some rule since some adult "orders" him to (in reality suggests that he) do so. But because he gets sad thinking a child won't have a Christmas gift. He was also sad last year because the only set we could find of what last year's child wanted was broken, so we had to get him something else. And S1 accepted it after I explained why we couldn't give a broken gift.
I love this thread thank you for starting it. I find sometimes I spend so much time directing advising worrying and trying to " control" that I forget to praise enjoy and celebrate this thread and this site remind me to do these things as well .
I am proud of my beautiful girl and how hard she works.
Today my son said "Here comes the bus" right as the bus was getting to the stop. Full sentences that are in context? Whaaaaaat?
While that's a skill rather than a character trait, I do think that his improving language skills show his perseverance and great attitude towards learning- learning language has been a lot harder for him than for most kids, but he keeps trying and he (usually) has a positive attitude too, and I love that.
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Mum to two awesome kids on the spectrum (16 and 13 years old).
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