Page 1 of 1 [ 14 posts ] 

YippySkippy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2011
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,986

27 Feb 2012, 10:23 pm

So, I'm bummed because my mom has dementia and is in denial. Today a cop came to my door to tell me she's called them 7 times recently. She lives with my dad and forgets who he is, and calls the law.
So...I tried out a chat room on an Alzheimer's support website. Explained what was going on and asked for advice. The conclusion of the room was that I am an enormous liar. Yep, I'm just pretending my mom's demented for kicks and giggles.
So, I just wanted to thank all you Wrong Planeteers. Because however much we argue amongst ourselves, at least no one here has ever accused me of "making it all up".
(I posted here in PPR because that's where I post most often, so ya'll are who I wanted to thank)
And I'm not being sarcastic - thanks.



NarcissusSavage
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2009
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 675

27 Feb 2012, 10:30 pm

It is odd that they default to believing you are making it up. Do they cite why they think you are lying? That might help get to the root of the issue, there is something that is likely going against their understanding of things, as something you have said doesn't fit into it quite right, somehow. But without any specifics I'm not sure what to say other than;

Good luck! You sound like you're in a difficult position and I wish you well in your endeavors. Let us know if you want to talk about it more! I'd like to help if at all possible.


_________________
I am Ignostic.
Go ahead and define god, with universal acceptance of said definition.
I'll wait.


YippySkippy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2011
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,986

27 Feb 2012, 10:49 pm

They didn't say why they thought I was lying. Probably the fact that it was my first time in the chat room had something to do with it. Also, they seemed not to like it when I explained why their obvious suggestions ("she should see a doctor") were not options (neither she nor my dad are willing to have her evaluated).
I guess my situation was too complicated, so they decided I was making up stories to stump them. :?
They should have just said they didn't know what I should do.



pandabear
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Aug 2007
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,402

28 Feb 2012, 8:25 am

Probably almost everyone here might have a similar story to tell. :oops:


_________________
hyperlexian: "WP is not society"


Kraichgauer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 47,739
Location: Spokane area, Washington state.

29 Feb 2012, 1:27 am

pandabear wrote:
Probably almost everyone here might have a similar story to tell. :oops:


Or someday will. :(

-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer



peebo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Mar 2006
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,624
Location: scotland

29 Feb 2012, 2:03 am

i'm sorry to hear about that. are you sure it's dementia? i'm sure you've talked to them a lot and tried to encourage them to see a doctor, but it's really important to make sure that it is dementia and not something else that is treatable or reversible if caught early enough. in any case dementia can be hard to deal with without additional support, both for your mum and for you and your dad.

maybe try talking to them some more, especially around the point that there are conditions that mimic the symptoms of dementia but that can be reversed if caught early enough. good luck, either way, and you have my sympathy in having to deal with such a difficult situation.


_________________
?Civil government, so far as it is instituted for the security of property, is in reality instituted for the defense of the rich against the poor, or of those who have some property against those who have none at all.?

Adam Smith


LKL
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2007
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,402

29 Feb 2012, 2:11 am

Whether or not it's dementia, it is certainly 'ALOC,' or 'altered level of consciousness. It's true that there are many causes, but without an MD eval it's difficult to say. Alzheimers is actually quite difficult to diagnose without a brain biopsy or autopsy (not options for most people, for obvious reasons).

I have to agree w/ the OP wrt. WP: even though I fight with many of you, and am frequently frustrated by many of you, I feel a general fondness for almost everyone here (the sole exceptions being a troll or two who have been b&). WP is a rare place where I can come to argue and hash out ideas without being called 'mean' or 'insensitive,' and where for the most part people are up-front and honest about their opinions and expect the same from me. Even when its frustrating, it's a sanctuary.



Kraichgauer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 47,739
Location: Spokane area, Washington state.

29 Feb 2012, 2:13 am

LKL wrote:
Whether or not it's dementia, it is certainly 'ALOC,' or 'altered level of consciousness. It's true that there are many causes, but without an MD eval it's difficult to say. Alzheimers is actually quite difficult to diagnose without a brain biopsy or autopsy (not options for most people, for obvious reasons).

I have to agree w/ the OP wrt. WP: even though I fight with many of you, and am frequently frustrated by many of you, I feel a general fondness for almost everyone here (the sole exceptions being a troll or two who have been b&). WP is a rare place where I can come to argue and hash out ideas without being called 'mean' or 'insensitive,' and where for the most part people are up-front and honest about their opinions and expect the same from me. Even when its frustrating, it's a sanctuary.


Amen, sister!

-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer



peebo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Mar 2006
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,624
Location: scotland

29 Feb 2012, 2:34 am

LKL wrote:
Whether or not it's dementia, it is certainly 'ALOC,' or 'altered level of consciousness. It's true that there are many causes, but without an MD eval it's difficult to say. Alzheimers is actually quite difficult to diagnose without a brain biopsy or autopsy (not options for most people, for obvious reasons).


this is certainly true, although my point is that there are other conditions that can mimic symptoms of dementia but that can actually be reversed if caught in good time. this might be an unlikely outcome, but it's prudent to get things checked out. it's unfortunate that the original poster's mother is hesitant to see a doctor, although it's quite common in people during the onset of dementia.


see here:

http://my.clevelandclinic.org/disorders ... entia.aspx

Quote:
Is dementia treatable?

One should differentiate the terms treatable and reversible or curable. All or almost all forms of dementia are treatable, in that medication and supportive measures are available to help with management of the demented patient. However, most types of dementia remain incurable or irreversible and only modest benefits from treatment are realized. Some disorders which may be successfully treated with return to a normal or pre-morbid state might include:

* Impairment from toxic side effects of medications or drugs
* Tumors that can be removed
* Subdural hematoma, an accumulation of blood beneath the outer covering of the brain that results from a broken blood vessel, usually as a result of a head injury (which can be minor and even unrecognized)
* Normal pressure hydrocephalus
* Metabolic disorders, such as a vitamin B12 deficiency
* Hypothyroidism, a condition that results from low levels of thyroid secretion
* Hypoglycemia, a condition that results from low blood sugar, assuming absence of extensive cell injury



Quote:
I have to agree w/ the OP wrt. WP: even though I fight with many of you, and am frequently frustrated by many of you, I feel a general fondness for almost everyone here (the sole exceptions being a troll or two who have been b&). WP is a rare place where I can come to argue and hash out ideas without being called 'mean' or 'insensitive,' and where for the most part people are up-front and honest about their opinions and expect the same from me. Even when its frustrating, it's a sanctuary.


i do agree with this completely. it's nice also that some common ground can often be found with posters with whom one might vehemently argue on certain other subjects.


_________________
?Civil government, so far as it is instituted for the security of property, is in reality instituted for the defense of the rich against the poor, or of those who have some property against those who have none at all.?

Adam Smith


YippySkippy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2011
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,986

29 Feb 2012, 9:11 am

Well, I contacted a relative. The relative contacted Adult Protective Services. 8O
I don't know if I'm happy about that or not.
Anyhow, my folks are getting a visit from APS today. I have turned off my phone because I'm afraid they're going to be pisssssssed. Things can't go on as they are, though.



AngelRho
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2008
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,366
Location: The Landmass between N.O. and Mobile

29 Feb 2012, 10:17 am

Sorry to hear about the APS call. I'm typically not fond of getting public agencies involved in situations like that, but even I have to admit sometimes it really can be for the best. If close relatives aren't prepared or equipped to help her in this difficult time, it might be best to let someone else bear the burden of accountability. Just do whatever you can to make sure she's being well treated and kept as comfortable as possible given the circumstances.

Also very sorry to hear you're going through this. I know what you mean about WP being supportive. I've hit a few rough spots and crisis moments myself with my family that I've posted about in PPR. Even though I wasn't outright looking for support, PPR folks were more than eager to give it out for free. No, we don't agree on a lot of things, but treating fellow human beings with dignity and respect for the most part is top of the list of things we do agree on.

My wife's grandmother went through several strokes and possibly advanced Alzheimer's, and I made a few posts regarding end-of-life issues. I wasn't looking for sympathy, but I got it anyway. You are certainly welcome to any help any of us can offer.



Vexcalibur
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jan 2008
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,398

29 Feb 2012, 2:26 pm

How can I know you are not making this whole thing up?


NarcissusSavage wrote:
It is odd that they default to believing you are making it up.
Surprised most of the people in the dementia forums are paranoid?


_________________
.


Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 59,750
Location: Stendec

29 Feb 2012, 3:08 pm

You're welcome, any time.



LKL
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2007
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,402

29 Feb 2012, 3:58 pm

YippySkippy wrote:
Well, I contacted a relative. The relative contacted Adult Protective Services. 8O
I don't know if I'm happy about that or not.
Anyhow, my folks are getting a visit from APS today. I have turned off my phone because I'm afraid they're going to be pisssssssed. Things can't go on as they are, though.

It sounds like you did the right thing.