Help me defend myself

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As a women I strongly hate men hitting or committing any violence against women (bad cursing to a woman also counts) and I´m in shock to read this topic, to read here from you all how you defend it. Call me sexist, but the fact is men are (at least physically) stronger than women and NO man-to-woman violence I find acceptable. Even if a woman hits you first, you can solve the problem in a different way than hitting her.

What do you suggest a man does if robbed, assaulted or threatened with physical harm or death by a woman/women who is/are physically larger and stronger? Believe it or not there is women-to-man violence as well as women-to-women violence, and I am not referring to merely a domestic setting. Recent news in my country (maybe US actually, not certain) includes a sordid tale of three teenage girls running a human trafficking/prostitution ring where they invited, drugged and exploited other teenage girls from Facebook, selling their sexual services to men. Evil does not have a sex (though if it did, it would be female... jk!! ! ). I just want it to be clear I find violence of all kinds abhorrent and the idea of harming a woman is something that is profoundly unpleasant to me. However it is really not a simple issue as apparent with all the controversy surrounding it

I had a female bully getting at me at school, and one day i had it and fought back at her. I got in trouble just because it was a girl, nevermind her actions provoking it, Then they admitted that they knew she was a bully but then told me that bullies were people too and her actions are of a problem that should have no consequences.

Good rule of thumb for men or women, don't hit anyone that you can't handle hitting back. You're not going to see me smacking Mike Tyson any time soon.

I would defend yourself by asking them "What if a woman is, for whatever reason, strangling me? Do you expect me to allow her to kill me because hitting her would be improper?"

I think that it's wrong to hit women, but it's also unreasonable to ask a man to allow a woman to use him as a punching bag.

I would try to stop the violence by backing away or restraining her instead of hitting her.

I had that happen to me a few years ago. The female was actually attacking me was some type of small metal object which i can't remember, but I gave her a good punch to defend myself and she walked away pretty quickly and never bothered me again.

I am simply talking about if a female was to start punching me/attacking me, I would have no problem using reasonable force against her, and the current NZ law permits this.

From reading this comment you appear sexist and are hypocritical when it comes to equality and wish to fall back on the old "I'm just a poor defenseless helpless women".

Use some verbal judo; ask them if they're in favor of equality between the sexes, and accuse them of sexism if they hem and haw. People usually don't expect to have their perceived strength turned against them, and are often caught off guard.

Why stop with adult women?

If a demonically possessed three year old toddler comes at an adult with an ice pick then the adult has the right to use physical force to stop the toddler.

You could concieve of any number of situations in which adult men would be justified in beating up on women or small children. But these are rare situations. Men dont need to go around living in fear of violence at the hands of women or of children ( unless they are nato troops stationed in Afganistan).

So why make a cause celeb out of rare contrived situations? Why is the OP so invested in this issue?

Aspie factor would be my guess; black and white thinking, fairness, fixation, all these things tend to show up around here.

I think it would help your cause if you simply stopped about man and woman and simply talked about defending yourself. What means defending: If I am stronger or more skilled: I can defense myself by physical strength or technical skill. So I normally dont need to punch 12year old punks to defend myself or physically treat them in a way, that I risc hurting them, to end the conflict or threatening situation. Thats whats self defense is about, ending a dangerous situation with as less violence as possible.

If someone is stronger or more skilled then I, then the only chance for me to end a threatening situation is hit and run. So while I can risc at a weaker threat, taking some hits until I am able to end the situation, I cant risk that with a stronger/more skilled assaulter. According to the self defense rules of my country I am allowed to use as much violence as is needed, but no more. So to defend myself from someone twice as heavy as myself I need much violence, because I simply cant end the situation by calm strength or techniques. But the moment I have a situation of advandage, as hitting the jewels, the neck, the ears, whatever that normally forces someone to freeze for some seconds, situation turns. If I am in a surrounding that allows me to end the threatening situation by simply running, yelling or whatever (as example a parking garage, that I could leave within 20 seconds to be with other people helping me) I lose my right of violence to end a threatening situation, because there is another option to me. As long as there is another option to end a threatening situation, I am forced to use it. Only if I was in a surrounding with absolutely noone around me, I would be given the right to use the freezement of an opponent to further violence him.

So I think it would help you if you stopped talking about women and men, and simply about opponents. Yes, average men are stronger. No problem with that. But as example the ordinary idiot subway punk from 12-16 is normally much weaker to me, simply because I even can lift some of them if they are slimstyle. ^^ As can a men be threatened by a 250 pounds women and so on. So simply it is not about men and women, its abouts opponents stronger or weaker then you. To defend myself against an opponent, heavier and physical stronger then me, be it a man or a woman, I need more violence. To defend myself against an opponent weaker then me, I need less violence. Anyway if I am a woman or not, I am not allowed to end the threat of a mindweak, physical enabled grandpa with his walking stick by breaking him the nose. Because of simply physical facts, there are other options to me. In the best way, by simply keeping distance to him because of physical advantage. If I hurted him, police would ask me: "Why didnt you simply step aside and call us? There was no need to violate him to defend yourself, so beating him was illegal." While if a heavy drunken, drugged female professional wrestler approaches me in an earnest way, which is defenenitly a life threat for me, even using a baseballclub or hitting her with glass bottles is ok as long as there is no other way to end the threatening situation for me. While if its a drunken, drugged, professional wrestler with an ill feet, I would not be allowed to violate this person, because I can end the situation simply by running and calling the police from a safe distance. So there is no need to physical self defense.

So stop about talking, what you are allowed to do against women or what you are allowed to do against men, because it simply doesnt matter. The important thing is to decide if I need to use physical violance to defend myself is simply if you are able to end the threatening in another way or not. If you have other options, you are forced to use them, before using violance yourself. If you dont have other options, there is no need to discuss other options. If I defended myself against a drunken, 90 pound teenager by smashing his head several times against a wall, police wouldnt ask if he was male or female, they simply would ask, if I was nuts or completely nuts.

Of course, if the woman strangles you or something similar, that´s a different situation, then you have no other option to save your life than to restrain her physically. But hitting her just in anger for whatever reason is wrong.

BTW would you also hit a child if he/she were strangling you or something similar? Or an elderly person?

No one is talking about hitting a woman in anger, we're talking about self defense, and the double standard that says that if you're a man you're not "allowed" to hit a woman that is attacking you, which is BS. Equality is equality, and you gotta take the bad with the good.

Unless they're suffering from dementia, I see no reason to exempt the elderly from ordinary rules of self defense, which means if you try and hurt me I'm going to stop you, without much regard for your physical well being. With children, it depends upon what age you're choosing to cut that definition off at; I've seen teenagers called children before, and I'd do a lot more than hit a teen who was trying to strangle me or otherwise use potentially deadly force.

Yes, and because of equality, we should stay at the topic selfe defense. This means it doesnt matter if the opponent is male or female, it only matters if I can stop the strangling of my opponent simply by being stronger and forcing the opponent with pure strength against his mucles to losen his strangling grip, or if I cant. If I cant, I am allowed to hit my opponent. If I do hit my opponent, while I was able to brak the srangling simply by grabbing the wirsts of my opponents, it is not self defense. This goes equal for men and women opponents threatening you. Because sex doesnt matter, its simply about the skills of your opponents.

Its not about elderly or anything. Self defense = using the option with minimum violence to end a threatening situation. If someone hurts you, you are allowed to use the option with the the least violence against your opponent. Else it is not self defense. If someone tries to hurt you, and you are going to stop the opponent with violence, ignoring other possible options for you that bare less violence, this is not about self defense. You dont have the right to physical threaten another person, if you are not forced to. You definitely have the right to end the threatening situation in the at least violating way, and you definitely have the right to call the police, because of someone forcing you to leave a specific area with violence to end this situation

^
I also have the option of informing someone who's making threats that I'm armed, or actually drawing if the threat is sufficient, which is usually the least violent course of action available. It's also damned egalitarian, as it works equally well for men or woman. No one ever accused a bullet of sexism.