Living with a depressed, anxious person?

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It is the stigma of requiring medication to be 'alright in the head'. Discrimination against those with a visible illness is generally frowned upon, and this social pressure encourages the majority to demonstrate tolerance and understanding. No equal social pressure exists for illnesses of the mind, which highlights the superficial individualistic 'understanding' of illness.

Plus all these unhelpful stereotypes about being superwoman (you know her, she has 3-4 kids, great mom, a respectable full time job, immaculate house, nice car always fashionable, finds time to fundraise etc)
Needing medication for an illness in your brain has 'got to be because you made bad choices', are you competent? can you be trusted? are you taking your meds? will others think that anyone you socialise with is also mentally unwell? helping someone on crutches is much simpler.
'If you need medication for your mind to be normal, then you are notably outside the norm.'

Personally, I would tell anyone who needs help but does not have a supportive environment (inclusive of enabling environments) to seek medical assistance. It is a physical illness in your nerve center, not your liver or kidneys and needs to be taken seriously.

Last edited by Amity on 01 Feb 2015, 8:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

its difficult when the knowledge is lacking in the general public. Ironically, it's the opposite with psychiatrists. They love to prescribe meds yet give no therapy.

Even amid the facts of depression being a physiological problem; shouldn't other methodologies be used, in conjunction with meds?

Absolutely, medication alone is imo the equivalent of layering band aids on top of a deep wound.
Tablets are accessible, they treat the symptoms, the medical and pharmaceutical industries are interwoven.
Therapy is required to address the changeable behaviors, like maladaptive coping strategies .
Mindfulness and meditation are also worth a mention, plus of course lifestyle changes as required.

The last two I have had have been pretty balanced between meds and CBT.



Sure, but mindfulness and cognitive modification will not alleviate depression no matter how much the patient tries.

I think there is a certain degree of fear in people's reactions.

Now the question is: is depression solely or mostly a physiological problem in all cases. Couldn't reactive depression lead to major depressive symptoms owing mostly to non-physiological causes?

I would think that CBT therapy, in conjunction with meds at first, would be the solution in these cases.

From "How Stuff Works"


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I tend to think all depression is reactive. Mine is certainly a result of chronic bad experience. Depression is like an injury to the brain. An assault from the environment causing damage. Once the damage is done I'm not sure a person's attitude will effect any meaningful repair.

As I ponder my childhood and adolescence, there was much damage done--both from outside agents, and from my own REACTIONS to the damage done. I am fortunate that I was able to use what may be termed "reality-testing" techniques to offset potentially depressive episodes. I've had what may be called mild-moderate reactive depressive episodes; but I'm fortunate none have lead to major depressive symptoms requiring medication. I believe it was because I really cared very little what people thought of me at that time. Also because I had an inward faith that I will succeed, despite what some others said.

I had only one "friend" from the age of about six to twelve. None, basically, from twelve to fifteen. When I was 15, I hung out with two other people who were "odd." Both were about two years younger than me. We made a good "three-musketeers" team. They didn't go to my school, though. I had no friends in school--zilch. Most of the teachers didn't even care for me. There were a couple who did, though. I didn't benefit fully from their caring because I was rather stubborn at that age. Stubborness borne, quite possibly, by the crap I had to put up with throughout my childhood. It wasn't their fault that I didn't respond to their overtures; it was mine.

I used to react to my depression by "hiding from it," so to speak. I hid via television viewing. I hid via obsessive reading of the Columbia Encyclopedia--especially kings and popes. Perhaps, I am fortunate that I was never a "complex" person per se. I was, and still remain, quite Forrest Gumpian in a lot of ways.

I've always had the attitude that I was not "normal"--that I was unworthy in some sense. Only recently have I adopted a "screw you" attitude to people who don't find me to be worthy. And it's a pretty strong "screw you."

It's not that I want to spread "false hope" to people with depression. It's that I want to present the person with depression with (not perfectly, of course!) objective truths. There are very few people, short of mass murderers, who are as "unworthy" as some depressive people feel themselves to be. That's a fact, I believe. There must be an "offset," and the depressive person IMHO, should use the "offset"--another perspective--in order to "offset" their negative feelings about themselves. In effect, words alone do not matter--actually illustrating the "offset" to the depressive person, and the depressive person being open to receiving the "offset," will, in my opinion, provide that "boost" for the depressive person.

No, this is not "cheerleading" crap! This is reality! You are more worthy than you think! You have lots to contribute! I can prove it to you!

What if one's reality warrants depression?


Me too on both counts, but still I became depressed.


I'm not sure how you are using "unworthy" here. Or how it would relate to depression. I don't think people are depressed because they feel they deserve it, but rather people feel sadness because they are depressed.

I find CBT therapy to be nothing but useless for me, as for meds I've tried various meds for depression none of which have helped, and some just caused really nasty side effects. I am trying a new one now that is quite different than the others called remeron, I think some people just have it as a sleep aid but it has anti-depressant properties. Since I have sleep trouble and depression my psychiatrist thought it might be worth a try since I can take it at night to help me sleep as well as potentially benefit from the anti-depressant effect. Otherwise she was going to prescribe zoloft, another SSRI which I was kinda iffy about since my reaction to prozac was unpleasant. Still even if this medication does help, I doubt it would entirely alleviate the depression.

If reactive depression goes on long enough I think it can cause chemical imbalance and turn into an ongoing issue even if the person is able to improve the situation, the damage may already be done.

I think trying remeron was a good decision if you have problems sleeping. When I tried it; it made me mostly sleep & eat. I'd sleep for a couple hours, wake up for a couple hours & eat, go back to sleep & the cycle would repeat. I don't think it makes most people sleep & eat that much thou; I think I was just really sensitive to it maybe partly because I was on a couple other psych meds at the time9Abilify & Klonopin). I really hope it works well for you. I know finding the rite 1 can get really tiring.

There is some tendency for people with major depression to feel unworthy out of proportion to any possible "reason" for their alleged "unworthiness."

Also: there's always something positive to offset something negative, even if that positive is elusive at a present moment.
I haven't had that great of a life--but I attempty to make use of some "good" that has arisen in my life. I make copious use of my imagination while keeping Reality firmly in grasp.

It doesn't for me. But it keeps me functional and it's better than the alternative. I think people underestimate the amount of and permanence of damage done to the brain by the environment.

But their unworthiness or feelings thereof are irrelevant to the condition of depression.
Are you taking about feeling unworthy of being happy? I've never really given this consideration. I'm not sure why this is relevant.

One thing Ive often considered about damage being irreversible, that significant/prolonged negative experiences leave a sensitive spot, similar to the weak point after a prolapsed disc in the lower back.
So you modify your way of living, to accommodate this sensitising. When you forget that this weak point exists and engage in heavy lifting, your back twinges as a warning/reminder. One issue I have is that I have failed to recognise the warning signals regarding depression and made decisions that only worsened my anxiety/depression.