i want to kill myself tonight

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And somebody seriously needs to fix the glitch that is saying I'm twenty and isn't updating my location from my account settings even though I changed it. It's seriously annoying.

My co-workers all have kids. I've never even kissed a girl. There's still a pretty big gap there in my opinion.

There's a gap---but you have one thing in common: you work together.

So what if you haven't kiss a girl? Only high school idiots care about such things. These are grown men who have experienced life. They have no time to belittle someone for lack of experience. They have better things on their minds--like raising their families.

Frequently, older people take younger people "under their wing." It's been this way since time began. Maybe you need someone to "take you under his wing." There's nothing to be ashamed of if such a relationship happens. It's the way older people "pass down" their wisdom to younger people. And you wouldn't have to do a thing. Just listen to the guy. It's somewhat like how an apprentice used to be taught by someone experienced in a trade.

How do you get along with your co-workers?

I'm not saying I think they'd care, I'm just emphasizing the difference. To them I'm just a kid, they have their own families. The youngest guy there is the guy that is finishing wood along with me, and he looks like he's in his late twenties or early thirties at the youngest.

What I'm saying is they are just co-workers, not friends. I don't want anybody to take me under their wing.

My point is, high school was easier, because I generally get along better with people who are actually a bit younger than me. But as I got older the gap between me and my peers grew even more, and now that I'm out of high school, most of the people my age (that I could at least somewhat relate to) are in college. I'm not in college. I had a hard enough time making friends before, and now that my options are so limited it's basically impossible.

I know you're trying to help, but there's just no way I'm going to make any friends.

Maybe not at present...but you never know what the future holds.

Don't overthink the making friends stuff. Sometimes it just happens without your expecting it. It did with me.

If you don't like being in a team think about taking up jogging: working up a sweat like that always makes me feel good and I've always preferred running alone because I don't like to chat while jogging.

We Aspies usually battle to fit in with any particular age group. I don't think about age; I often think like a kid myself even though I'm almost as old as Kraftiekortie!

It does help in the workplace if management are aware of medical conditions like mine does, as I was part of a disability training course a few years ago, to get me back on my feet after a few years of unemployment, which was before I was diagnosed.

I'm sorry some earlier posters were rude to you which honestly usually happens on NT sites such as many news sites where some folk manage to drag politics and religion into everything they read, however irrelevant the article is to those things. (just giving an example here).

Also ensure you always get enough sleep. Some years ago I was battling insomnia and in a terrible state of mind before I was diagnosed: my folks were worried about me, but these days I sleep like a baby.

Keep us updated! Hang in there: never try to live up to the expectations of others but rather surprise them when you do achieve something good.

Welcome to the autism community bud. I had a sensory overload at a group meeting. I cannot catch on social cues, make jokes, and naturally make relationships with people. Sure, we have small chats, but nothing with too much sarcasm, pick up on stuff. I would be afraid to kiss in public, because I'm afraid of the way people may look at me. This has been my problem for years. I want someone, but then I'm afraid of the drama. I'm stuck in the pre-traumatic stress disorder phase. (I was even afraid of someone sideswiping me on the highway that I drive scared). I can never relax. Live alone. Have a hard time cooking right, have a hard time taking care of myself, have a hard time focusing on goals, have a hard time eating right; when I get nervous, I would grab a handful of cereal and eat it. When I grew up, I didn't learn how to talk until I was 6 or 7. I would be very shy in public, and not know naturally what to say. I am forever cursed to be shy and submissive because of my fears and disorder. Money, Family, and even missing out and getting older sucks, but that's my life. I try to enjoy it at least, and I'm still alive. That's all I can honestly say.

It feels like my problems are too unique and unsolvable.... It's ok to feel bad for yourself.

Exactly.

But then...in truth, you have some neurotypicals whose "problems are too unique and are not (seemingly) solveable."

As people get older, they usually adjust to their "uniqueness" better.

I don't tend to do well, for example, if there's a "rank out" session amongst people kidding around with each other. I withdraw into a corner when this occurs.

But that's exactly my point. The problems have no real solution, I just have to sit around and wait till I get used to it ("adjust to my uniqueness"). Assuming I do at all.

I don't want to get used to being alone and feeling like life is pointless.

Don't you like being on your own? Doing what you want and let what you like grow inside you?

I know it's not easy but maybe you should try to accept that your life is like it is now, be satisfied with what you have and what you can do, and not be waiting for what you don't have (like having friends) or what you can't do (like finding girls).

Eventually after a while things will happen because that's how life is and you won't see them coming.

Instead of actively be waiting for these things to come I think it's better to sort of passively wait for them. By that I mean keeping your life going and just letting the time do it's thing, without thinking about what you're waiting for.

This week where was a documentary on German TV (titled "Einer fehlt"/"One is missing") with interviews about an old man that had died in 2011 and had been quite popular in his East Berlin street.

He had learned late to speak, went to school for three years, and could not read and write, had hold two or thee jobs as an unskilled labor, as he was considered as unfit for further training. After his mothers death he lived for years without electricity and heating, he did not want a neighbour to buy him coal, but accepted some help with other things. He was often just standing in a doorway, greeting everybody very friendly, exchanged some words with those who talked with him, and more with those whom he liked and were kind to him. He did refrain from going to the hair dresser, because the person who had usually cut his hair was not there, a confusion which for some years, till the new hairdresser came out to ask him, gave him a more eccentric look. He appreciated nice and pretty women quite a lot and showed it in a way that was perceived as unobtrusive by most, a male singer had a quite intense albeit not very time-consuming or wordy relationship with him, a handful of the people interviewed (women mainly) helped him with something. He helped some people,women mainly, with some things.

Overall one gets the impression that he was accepted, and that many people somehow considered him as being supportive or at least as them having been supportive to him. That he must have been quite O.K. with his social life as it was, and that he was relaxed. So relaxed that he had a relaxing effect on others. (I think one guy states that quite clearly).

I dont find any reason why one needs to wait till the comeback of socialism, the death of one s mother, getting 60 or having very long hair and beard in order to behave like him in public. You neednt exaggerate with it. But more relationships are relaxing. For everybody.

No reason to be submissive, it is enough to stay a little bit away from the mean people, and closer to the nice ones.

For both, starfox and FlyingSpaceKittie: Attention seeking is a very healthy thing to do.

It means that one needs attention.

You're not going to like this:

Life is WHAT YOU MAKE IT. You have to create your own enjoyment, based upon, obviously, what you enjoy. It's usually easier if you have others who share your view of enjoyment.

Anything goes, in my opinion--as long as you don't hurt yourself or others.

There is no overriding "point" to life, in my opinion.

Perhaps, if I were into constant philosophical introspection, I might have turned out to be a more intelligent, educated person. However, when I tried that route, I found myself stuck--since there are no real "answers." Only speculations based upon your subjective experience. It's nice to find someone who shares your view on those speculations, though.

I don't want attention for the wrong reasons though.