Page 1 of 1 [ 3 posts ] 

hartzofspace
Supporting Member
Supporting Member

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,138
Location: On the Road Less Traveled

19 Sep 2011, 11:17 am

I have been inching towards severe depression, (due to several sources of stress in my life) and now have totally fallen into it. It seems much worse this time because I have an audience, in the form of my fiance. I hate for him to see me this way, and it pains him too. But all I can do it cry and feel suicidal. It is hard to have someone around when I am like this, because I have the additional pain of knowing that they care, and it is as if there is this wall around me that no one can penetrate. He tries to comfort me to no avail. No one can comfort me; it is usually something that I have to allow to run its course. But he wants me to go on medication, which I hate. I don't like being doped up, and I have a pretty sensitive system, meaning that I have a good chance of severe side effects to any new drug I try. So now I am feeling utterly defeated and am not sure where to turn. Just needed to reach out, I guess. :cry:


_________________
Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.
-- Dr. Dale Turner


Gifted-Monster
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jun 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 389

19 Sep 2011, 11:36 am

I'd wager a fair potion have experienced something similar to what you are. It's different for each person though.

You know that old saying, "Misery loves company?"

Find company in misery then. Have you considered therapy? I'm not exactly an advocate of it given how useless it was for me but I wasn't ready to change.

You clearly are, otherwise you wouldn't care about it hurting your fiance.

Failing that, find a support group of other people going through what you are.


_________________
"We will not capitulate - no, never! We may be destroyed, but if we are, we shall drag a world with us - a world in flames."
- Adolf Hitler


leozelig
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 30 Oct 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 281

24 Sep 2011, 2:15 pm

I can completely relate to where you are coming from. Medications have severely irritated my body in the past and it's barbaric that anyone should have to tolerate that. We are all very sensitive, I believe. I strongly suggest talking about how you're feeling to people whom you trust or even on forum such as WP. Writing about it or some other form of self-expression, to get the dark feelings to move on their own, does that makes sense? If you can manage some kind of physical activity, even short walks help to get the good natural brain chemicals flowing, not to mention fresh air and sunlight. I have become depressed this past month, so I fully understand what's going on-- but it gets better