sad about my health exc.

Page 1 of 2 [ 25 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

just-me
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Mar 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,178

14 Apr 2009, 8:41 pm

I don't want surgery. I have a anal fistula . That is a tube connecting the inside of my butt to the out side of my skin. basically it is making another opening to my butt. I was hopeful the doctor my have been wrong until yesterday, when I farted and air came out of the hole in my but cheek.

I need surgery to plug the hole. and worse is it could be crones disease and I could have many of these fistulas tunneling into random parts of my body. Even my organs .

I wont know if that is the case till after the surgery. When I'm under they are going to do a Colonoscopy to see if I have it.

I hope i don't.

I also miss my boyfriend ad he is to far away to be with me through all this.


I just don't know way this is happening to me.
I'm so scared confused and sad.



Learning2Survive
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Feb 2009
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,777

14 Apr 2009, 8:44 pm

hey, PM me and we can talk it through. you do not really understand the diagnosis.

is your problem getting worse? why does it require surgery - to prevent what? why can't you do a colonoscopy prior to surgery?

Crohn's disease is about bowels getting inflamed and giving people diarrhea. What makes you think you have it?

could you let anyone else look at your health records (your mom, your friend, aunt, grandma, whatever) so they can help you figure it out?


I mean a simple fistula does not sound like the end of the world to me. I have something similar with my eye - when I blow my nose, air comes out of my right eye. :lol:


_________________
Some of the threads I started are really long - yeay!


Social_Fantom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Feb 2008
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,895
Location: Trapped outside of the space time continuum

14 Apr 2009, 8:54 pm

My God, that's awful!

I've never quite heard of that but I have had a fissure in my crack, extending from just above my anus almost to the top of my butt, that was basically an infection that threatened to eat the skin inside my crack and make it deeper and potentially reach my organs. Not sure if it would have ever gotten that far but it was very uncomfortable to sit down and it stunk. At times it could be smelled by other people which was embarrassing. Whenever I sat down on the toilet to have a bowel movement the fissure would rip open causing it to bleed pretty badly. Because of that, I had to poop standing up until I had the surgery and still to this very day I'm paranoid of pooping sitting down thinking it may happen again.

Not quite like your case but I can sort of relate to your situation. Hope the surgery goes well.


_________________
So simple, it's complicated


KaliMa
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Feb 2007
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 960
Location: Boston, Massachusetts, USA

14 Apr 2009, 9:04 pm

my God! You're just having the worst time these days.

You had asked us to pray for Just-You recently. I hope that's going better. I'm so sorry to hear he's not available to give you emotional support during all this.

I hope you get better. I'm glad Learning2Survive is able to give you more information - it's always a comfort to know someone who has had something similar when you're ill.


_________________
"I yam what I yam." - Popeye the Sailor

Avatar from www.freesmileys.org


just-me
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Mar 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,178

14 Apr 2009, 9:25 pm

Learning2Survive wrote:
is your problem getting worse? why does it require surgery - to prevent what? why can't you do a colonoscopy prior to surgery?


I'm scared of needles and doctors so the surgeon is going to do it at the same time so I don't have to go under 2 times. she is doing it to help reduce my stress which I think is very nice of her.

It requires surgery because the fistula will continue to tunnel other places until it is cut open, drained and sown shut.

They are going to try an anal plug first so they don't have to cut any of my mussels needed to poop. An anal plug is a plug shaped like a gulf tee that they insert so the fistula can heal around it. But it only has a 50% success rate.

Learning2Survive wrote:
Crohn's disease is about bowels getting inflamed and giving people diarrhea. What makes you think you have it?


I have a family history that makes me more prone to it. My mother had severe ulcerative colitis and both sister have IBS . I have enough symptoms to make the anal rectal surgeon think I should be checked for crones and other things . My symptoms are bloody stool , skin tags on my butt, itchy butt, and the fistula. The location of the fistula is another indication.

They just want to make sure I don't have it but I'm scared.

Learning2Survive wrote:
could you let anyone else look at your health records (your mom, your friend, aunt, grandma, whatever) so they can help you figure it out?

My sister when with me and she helped me understand

Learning2Survive wrote:
I mean a simple fistula does not sound like the end of the world to me. I have something similar with my eye - when I blow my nose, air comes out of my right eye. :lol:


Do you think I shouldn't have surgery? I want to avoid it if possible. I got a second opinion today and they gave me the exact same response. It can only be fixed with surgery, and i should be checked for any other problems.


It is not the fistula that scares me. Its the surgery and the possibility of something more serious.

Ive read that crones causes fistulas all over the digestive track and that why I'm worried. And sometimes parts of the digestive system become so inflamed that you cant pass stool and they need to operate to open the passage again.

I don't have diarrhea but I'm often constipated. Do you think I have it cause I hope I don't.



Learning2Survive
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Feb 2009
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,777

14 Apr 2009, 9:27 pm

just-me wrote:
Learning2Survive wrote:
is your problem getting worse? why does it require surgery - to prevent what? why can't you do a colonoscopy prior to surgery?


I'm scared of needles and doctors so the surgeon is going to do it at the same time so I don't have to go under 2 times. she is doing it to help reduce my stress which I think is very nice of her.

It requires surgery because the fistula will continue to tunnel other places until it is cut open, drained and sown shut.

They are going to try an anal plug first so they don't have to cut any of my mussels needed to poop. An anal plug is a plug shaped like a gulf tee that they insert so the fistula can heal around it. But it only has a 50% success rate.

Learning2Survive wrote:
Crohn's disease is about bowels getting inflamed and giving people diarrhea. What makes you think you have it?


I have a family history that makes me more prone to it. My mother had severe ulcerative colitis and both sister have IBS . I have enough symptoms to make the anal rectal surgeon think I should be checked for crones and other things . My symptoms are bloody stool , skin tags on my butt, itchy butt, and the fistula. The location of the fistula is another indication.

They just want to make sure I don't have it but I'm scared.

Learning2Survive wrote:
could you let anyone else look at your health records (your mom, your friend, aunt, grandma, whatever) so they can help you figure it out?

My sister when with me and she helped me understand

Learning2Survive wrote:
I mean a simple fistula does not sound like the end of the world to me. I have something similar with my eye - when I blow my nose, air comes out of my right eye. :lol:


Do you think I shouldn't have surgery? I want to avoid it if possible. I got a second opinion today and they gave me the exact same response. It can only be fixed with surgery, and i should be checked for any other problems.


It is not the fistula that scares me. Its the surgery and the possibility of something more serious.

Ive read that crones causes fistulas all over the digestive track and that why I'm worried. And sometimes parts of the digestive system become so inflamed that you cant pass stool and they need to operate to open the passage again.

I don't have diarrhea but I'm often constipated. Do you think I have it cause I hope I don't.



Just me I HAVE NO IDEA your doctor knows better. :)

i do know what crohn's and ulcerative colitis is and know a few people who have it. so feel free to PM me or chat on MSN and maybe I can do my best to help you make sense of your health needs and how to best meet them.


_________________
Some of the threads I started are really long - yeay!


just-me
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Mar 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,178

14 Apr 2009, 9:31 pm

KaliMa wrote:
my God! You're just having the worst time these days.

You had asked us to pray for Just-You recently. I hope that's going better. I'm so sorry to hear he's not available to give you emotional support during all this.

He is still having problems but I'm very greatfull for your prayers!

He is giving me emotional support online but I miss him and I wish he was here to hold my hand through all of this.

KaliMa wrote:
I hope you get better.

Thanks.



just-me
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Mar 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,178

14 Apr 2009, 9:38 pm

Learning2Survive wrote:
Just me I HAVE NO IDEA your doctor knows better. :)

i do know what crohn's and ulcerative colitis is and know a few people who have it. so feel free to PM me or chat on MSN and maybe I can do my best to help you make sense of your health needs and how to best meet them.


I mostly want to vent , I'm just really scared. I have never had surgery and I'm just scared.



Learning2Survive
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Feb 2009
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,777

14 Apr 2009, 9:57 pm

I wonder how you can reduce your stress? What you describe sounds very simple and straight forward. I mean, the butt is a soft place and I bet it is a piece of cake for the surgeon to work on. The fistula sounds like a simple thing for the doctors to manage because it is easy to see and to work on. I wonder though, what can you do for the stress? Is it possible for you to take long walks outside every day? That would improve your health in general and make you a healthier patient. Just-an-idea :)


_________________
Some of the threads I started are really long - yeay!


just-me
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Mar 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,178

15 Apr 2009, 3:26 am

I don't trust doctors. After being over medicated from age 3 onwards I distrust doctors and see them butchering the oath they took for monetary gain.

They put me on so much med and I've only now been able to get better since I got off them.

So putting my self in a position to trust a doctor is hard for me to do.

I remember having a bad trip as a 3 year old form the adhd meds they put me on. and that was only the beginning.

It was bad, but I wont get into that.

The point is I want nothing to do with the medical community and I'm stressed because I need surgery and I have no way to avoid it.

it is frustrating.



oblio
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Dec 2007
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 529
Location: 1 Observatree Close, Pointless Forest, Low Countries

15 Apr 2009, 7:21 am

just-me wrote:
KaliMa wrote:
my God! You're just having the worst time these days.

You had asked us to pray for Just-You recently. I hope that's going better. I'm so sorry to hear he's not available to give you emotional support during all this.

He is still having problems but I'm very greatfull for your prayers!

He is giving me emotional support online but I miss him and I wish he was here to hold my hand through all of this.

KaliMa wrote:
I hope you get better.

Thanks.


damn, i just knew it, when i saw the title; gosh just-me -
if i believed i would have been praying for you ever since you first started on this course of sad posting -

i translated an informational guide on Crohn's, goodness me, maybe twenty years ago, and remember more than i care to; my younger brother Peter died of cancer just over six years ago - and heard only then from a university friend of his he might have ignored-neglected Crohn's; and i have some problems due to hypo- and hyper-sensitivity in the anal area; so i can only imagine, dear

but you would love to only have my trouble

however, i have my own fears relating to physical pain, and it involves needles.
and still,
on the other hand, i am from a medical 'background' , which does something with people (all medical people i have ever met have a certain 'realism' in the way they view life as 'they way things physical go' - whatever their more philosophical views, and

- however you may feel about the medical professionals (and given my father, dear, you'll simply have to accept that i would have more likelihood than most to be highly distrustful of anyone medical, but it is not fair, not even as a generalization... it's just, well they're just ordinary folk as well, or badly, as all of us

stil, i am not here to disagree with you, you need venting; i can handle a lot of venting

being the son of a doctor - never forget doctors are also practitioners of a certain state of science - it was obviously pathetic and illogic (and i ALWAYS KNEW it) to be afraid of the needle;
we lived in ongo or liberia when i first developed the (parentally expected) pain of the testicle that had remained in the groin, which herniated
it was simple, there was no option - i was four or five (i have no visual memory) but i just know i remember lying at the operating table maybe even too terrified (i must have been motionlessly rigid) and i cannot remember whether it was my father or the other guy to do it, but one of the bastards stood there in my vision, in a separate corner, holding up ...
remember hun, we're talking almost fifty years ago, this was no carefully crafted state of the art stuff .. holding up and preparing this GIGANTIC CANON OF A NEEDLE

but i also knew that somehow 'it would become tomorrow'
and as this was unavoidable and always was going to happen

i don't know when i became aware of my instinctive power of logical acceptance

i suppose after a similar experience when i got very cruelly anaesthetized by the dentist, to have a unicorny tooth removed from right in the middle of the palate - which was where he simply drilled a hardly less sophisticated piece of sharp toolage
(i do suspect him in particular of enjoying his job though, AND sucking at it)

i cannot remember any doctor EVER hurting me again, and i have been cut more than once (nothing serious) - i have somehow developed a way by which i focus on the pain to (whatever it will) be (will be), identify it, localize it, and experience it 'where-it-hurts-only'

(as a result, i have been complimented more than one MD on my descriptions of pain, and the specific feedback i give while NOT UNDERGOING so much as EXPERIENCING the process - in fact i hate them talking TO ME (between them is good, just medical terminology please, just the facts) to put me at ease, it destroys my concentration

the point it: the more relaxed you are PHYSICALLY, the LESS PAIN
so it is essential -YOU MUST RELAX- which reminds me of Dad's Army -
what's his name again, 'Don't Panic! Don't Panic!'

there is ONE physical thing i fear most of all for being touched by even mere wind

my eyes, my naked eyes - i couldn't even handle bloody lenses, just couldnt -
soooooh nakedly vulnerable

yet, on the basis of this i have completely blocked out all 'subjectiveness' while being lasered, they never had had someone so still-eyed, they would have wanted me in the early days of the procedure

o dear just-me, if only i could give you any bit of comfort to help you relax,
it can be done, it does take courage, and it takes time to develop

face what is inevitable, it will become tomorrow

i remain thinking of you, robert


_________________
a point in every direction is the same as no point at all - or is it

may your god forgive you


Psygirl6
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2009
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 346

15 Apr 2009, 8:31 am

I hope you feel better. I just had a total colectomy (where I had my entire colon removed) from slow transit constipation. I also had a rectal prolapse where my rectum came right out and I had to have it reattached back in 2006. Well, I hope goes well and good luck with the colonoscopy.
I had that done before and I was a sleep the whole entire procedure, so you will not feel anything. You may be sore on the butt for a while, but it will go away. Good luck with it I wish you well.



just-me
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Mar 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,178

15 Apr 2009, 11:06 am

oblio wrote:
damn, i just knew it, when i saw the title; gosh just-me -
if i believed i would have been praying for you ever since you first started on this course of sad posting -

i translated an informational guide on Crohn's, goodness me, maybe twenty years ago, and remember more than i care to; my younger brother Peter died of cancer just over six years ago - and heard only then from a university friend of his he might have ignored-neglected Crohn's; and i have some problems due to hypo- and hyper-sensitivity in the anal area; so i can only imagine, dear

but you would love to only have my trouble

however, i have my own fears relating to physical pain, and it involves needles.
and still,
on the other hand, i am from a medical 'background' , which does something with people (all medical people i have ever met have a certain 'realism' in the way they view life as 'they way things physical go' - whatever their more philosophical views, and

- however you may feel about the medical professionals (and given my father, dear, you'll simply have to accept that i would have more likelihood than most to be highly distrustful of anyone medical, but it is not fair, not even as a generalization... it's just, well they're just ordinary folk as well, or badly, as all of us

stil, i am not here to disagree with you, you need venting; i can handle a lot of venting

being the son of a doctor - never forget doctors are also practitioners of a certain state of science - it was obviously pathetic and illogic (and i ALWAYS KNEW it) to be afraid of the needle;
we lived in ongo or liberia when i first developed the (parentally expected) pain of the testicle that had remained in the groin, which herniated
it was simple, there was no option - i was four or five (i have no visual memory) but i just know i remember lying at the operating table maybe even too terrified (i must have been motionlessly rigid) and i cannot remember whether it was my father or the other guy to do it, but one of the bastards stood there in my vision, in a separate corner, holding up ...
remember hun, we're talking almost fifty years ago, this was no carefully crafted state of the art stuff .. holding up and preparing this GIGANTIC CANON OF A NEEDLE

but i also knew that somehow 'it would become tomorrow'
and as this was unavoidable and always was going to happen

i don't know when i became aware of my instinctive power of logical acceptance

i suppose after a similar experience when i got very cruelly anaesthetized by the dentist, to have a unicorny tooth removed from right in the middle of the palate - which was where he simply drilled a hardly less sophisticated piece of sharp toolage
(i do suspect him in particular of enjoying his job though, AND sucking at it)

i cannot remember any doctor EVER hurting me again, and i have been cut more than once (nothing serious) - i have somehow developed a way by which i focus on the pain to (whatever it will) be (will be), identify it, localize it, and experience it 'where-it-hurts-only'

(as a result, i have been complimented more than one MD on my descriptions of pain, and the specific feedback i give while NOT UNDERGOING so much as EXPERIENCING the process - in fact i hate them talking TO ME (between them is good, just medical terminology please, just the facts) to put me at ease, it destroys my concentration

the point it: the more relaxed you are PHYSICALLY, the LESS PAIN
so it is essential -YOU MUST RELAX- which reminds me of Dad's Army -
what's his name again, 'Don't Panic! Don't Panic!'

there is ONE physical thing i fear most of all for being touched by even mere wind

my eyes, my naked eyes - i couldn't even handle bloody lenses, just couldnt -
soooooh nakedly vulnerable

yet, on the basis of this i have completely blocked out all 'subjectiveness' while being lasered, they never had had someone so still-eyed, they would have wanted me in the early days of the procedure

o dear just-me, if only i could give you any bit of comfort to help you relax,
it can be done, it does take courage, and it takes time to develop

face what is inevitable, it will become tomorrow

i remain thinking of you, robert


Weird as it may be it is not the pain that scares me. I'm scared of my body being damaged. I am really not worried about the pain at all.

I'm just trying to accept it for what it is and realize it is out of my hands now.

It is in my doctors hands and I shouldn't worry.


I'm kinda adapting the philosophy of let go and let god.

In this case I'm letting go and letting the doctor handle it.



just-me
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Mar 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,178

16 Apr 2009, 8:07 pm

I'm starting to deal with it better. I'm not as worried as I was so I think I'll be ok.

THANK YOU EVERYONE for your kind responses. I'll update you after the surgery which is on my first.

I'm staying at my parents house cause I'll need help with after care and such. So I'll be gone a week or 2.

Be ready for some venting on the haven though, cause my family aren't the nicest people. I think 2 weeks there is much worse then the surgery itself.

Those of you who remember my old posts about my dad know what I'm talking about.

Anyway I'll be ok. not so nervous and I'm great full for everyone's help!



oblio
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Dec 2007
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 529
Location: 1 Observatree Close, Pointless Forest, Low Countries

17 Apr 2009, 12:07 am

just-me wrote:
Be ready for some venting on the haven though, cause my family aren't the nicest people. I think 2 weeks there is much worse then the surgery itself.


hey jus'sie,

not exactly the kind of logic i was looking for,
but yes, the sado-masochistic context-approach might work...
elaborate, tiresome, but creative ... good thinking

anger can be sooo effective /

still: all in its proper time, at the right time, think of england
and we'll be thinking for you - i will

robert


_________________
a point in every direction is the same as no point at all - or is it

may your god forgive you


Learning2Survive
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Feb 2009
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,777

17 Apr 2009, 9:06 am

Just me just can't rely on her family for support. Ans she needs a lot of support during a stressful time.


_________________
Some of the threads I started are really long - yeay!