Does My Friend Have Aspergers?

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I'm a t a complete loss what to do. I've thought my friend has Aspergers for years.

We've been friends for ten years. She occasionally makes other friends but runs them off with her uniqueness.
I've allways understood she processes differently and felt she was worth the aggravation. However, I've had my limit now too.

She is exhausting. Everything is an argument because she doesn't understand or she frustrated because other do not understand her.
I have had 4 heart surgeries in the last five years. I have to keep my stress low so I made it so our visits are short. But she always demands more, more time, more arguments, etc.

She does make eye contact.
She's been divorced four times.
She is unable to watch most TV and movies because she does not want her emotions manipulated
Strangers find her strange and callous
Those who have known her find her an odd duck and very difficult, most avoid her.
She is SUPER INTENSE about everything.
She overwhelms very easily
She has extremely rigid schedules
Her home must have everything i place (according to her, to the point if something is missing someone must have broke in a stole it)
She hate parties
She is INTENSE to the point of exhausting me.
Fascination with words.
No one in her family wants to be around her (she thinks they must jealous)
She had a huge bumper sticker made for her car that says "Tailgaters are Stupid and Dangerous"
She is convinced a woman who stayed with her stole a worthless piece of plastic and a camera cord (because she cannot find them)
She has a horrible time learning anything new (my husband refused to help her install a computer because she is so aggravating)
Having to update from one computerto another was a HUGE problem and had her disabled for days.
She throws temper tantrums and whines when things are not the way she wants them
She worries about the future to the point of debilitation (has to go to bed)

Do any of these things sound like Aspergers?

Any help appreciated

Hello and welcome to Wrong Planet,

Yes, a lot of that does sound like Asperger's. I would broach the subject with her. Although it's scary to understand that your differences are caused by ASD, it does help you make progress in the future.


All the best

I generally avoid giving diagnostic opinions online, because A) I'm not a licensed psychologist and B) a one-sided, cherry picked description can't really give an accurate picture of a three-dimensional personality.

That said, it does sound as though you may be onto something. God only knows whether she would be receptive to the idea and be interested enough to learn more about it, or upset and angry because she thinks you're calling her mentally ill.

In either case, you must realize there is no cure nor medication for autism, so it's not likely to change anything one way or another, except to make her more aware of her behaviors and why she has them. It will do virtually nothing to make them go away.

Most of the things you listed seem like difficult person, but not autism-specific.
I don't see much core traits of autism in the list.

Honestly, that sounds more like a personality disorder. The obsessing about a seemingly irrelevant thing being stolen seems like paranoia.

I'd say autism is more a disconnect and a need for routine and finding safety in the familiarity of that routine, whereas a personality disorder is more controlling and intense with emotional mood swings.
Have you read anything about personality disorders? I found that helpful in dealing with a family memeber of mine.

Well done for being a good friend btw and sticking by her when other's haven't. I drove a friend away last year with my mood swings, but I'm on medication now. (Not an autism related thing) But, yes you do need to step back at times and look after your own emotional stability otherwise you will get drained.