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kelly7898
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28 Apr 2010, 5:07 am

MissConstrue wrote:
IdahoRose wrote:
I definitely come across as "creepy" to other people. It has nothing to do with my special interests - it's all about this certain vibe I give off. I think I may as well be wearing a neon sign that says "HEY! I'm mentally ill!" (Keep in mind I have other mental issues besides AS, so I'm not implying all people with AS are mentally ill.)

Anyway, I seem to really give men and children the creeps - the majority of guys I meet avoid eye contact and conversation with me, and my nieces and nephews are reluctant to play with me and even more reluctant to get hugs and kisses from me. :(

However, that same vibe seems to illicit other women's maternal instincts, because it seems like a lot of women around my age or (especially) older are kind to me and are even willing to be my friends; probably out of pity for me.


Huh that's interesting.

I seem to attract children and old people. I think most guys are more comfortable being in the friend zone with me. As for women, I don't seem to get along too well with many. Some of them seem overly sensative or tend to take me the wrong way. I will say though that most of the elderly women seem to understand me better than most people it seems.

As for feeling mentally ill, I've been in enough psych wards to know that maybe I am mentally ill or don't function in the same way "average" people do. I remember making more friends in psych wards than in clubs, classes, and social gatherings all together. I sort of wonder if normal is more or less a facade or front.

I think another issue I have is communication. It's not easy for me to respond or converse with people in the same way most people do. My conversations come off one-sided like I'm trying to find something to say or reciprocate but it ends up being revolved around me or a discussion that they're not interested in.

I also think so. Thank you for the post.



poopylungstuffing
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28 Apr 2010, 12:10 pm

pumibel wrote:
poopylungstuffing wrote:
I am not creepy as long as I don't talk to people...once soemthing happens that makes me start talking...it is then that I might become "creepy"....However...I am "scary" all the time...there are tons of people who are "scared" of me....like all the people who work for me...they all think I am some sort of monster....their diminutive boss on her hand flapping on tiptoes with head lowered...like some sort of ghoul out of a horror novel...


Yesssssss how delightfully creepy. With a name like "poopylungstuffing" I would expect no less. Do you often flit about with your head down flapping your hands on your tippy toes? Please say you emit a steady tone like the Emergency Broadcast System too!

I am artsy and "witchy" according to many, I don't know if I creep others out and I don't really care.I don't become obsessed with people or stalk anyone. If they don't act interested I just don't bother with them. The problem with that is many times men play aloof, and I don't understand the game, so I just pass on the opportunity. Another problem is that some men think I am playing aloof and stalk me. I have had to move and change my number at times. There is a teenager in Texas who has been cyber-stalking me for over a year. I think he is losing interest, but I still have to block him on many of my accounts sometimes.


I do not emit the steady Emergency Broadcasting tone, I am often muttering to myself or singing out loud or saying the same phrases over and over..often garblty words that don't mean anything.....and
I talk to myself and pets and inanimate objects....some people think I am creepy because of Puppetrina....and how serious I take her...i have gotten "artsy" and "witchy" too...I have even had some weirdos outright call me a "witch"...this happened once while I was innocently perusing a garage sale...The old Hispanic man said something to his companion and i heard him use the word Bruja ("witch" en Espanol) and then one of them sorta accusingly called me a Witch!! Not a good way to get people to buy their musty old garage sale stuff...


I wanted to turn this thread around a bit though and discuss creepy NT women (unless I missed the part of the thread that discussed them)...maybe it is just my nature and natural aversion to so many people that has caused this sensitivity, but I have had some issues with frequently finding NT women creepy....Ones who repeatedly come on too strongly and don't respect my boundaries even after I try to explain them.....I find people creepy not because of their oddness, but moreso when I for whatever reason, real or imagined feel that I might not be able to trust them, and don't understand where they are coming from...and not being able to read people has made it hard for me to um...always properly intemperate people's motives.



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05 May 2010, 9:38 pm

Mary Kay saleswomen are creepy NTs. At least, in my experience. They want to sell you their stuff, and they want you to sign up to be a representative to further the pyramid scheme. They will get into your personal space, ask you personal questions, an badger you to try to get you to go to a party and sign up.



Kenjuudo
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05 May 2010, 10:23 pm

I think the reason for all the confusion about "creepiness", however it is defined, between the genders, is that it is defined differently, or more vague, by men than by women. It appears to me to be a term that men (a bit of generalizing for the sake of argumentation never hurts), solely attribute to men - because they've been taught the most prevalent female definition of it - which in almost all contexts is about males.

Men (again a bit of generalization), usually never use the term about women, simply because they don't get approached as often as women do. It stems from an old "norm" in society that men are supposed to approach women, not the other way around. The woman has to play her cards really badly (or particularly deliberate) in order to come across as creepy to the average man.

In another thread, there was an example presented about unwanted attention expressed something along the lines of: "how would you act, man, if a homosexual man was standing uncomfortably close to you and you told him to remove himself, and he still stood uncomfortably close to you and started touching you etc. and later, he found out where you lived and stood in your garden trying to catch a glimpse of you through your windows?"

Well, I think the example is rather unfair. If a woman took the homosexual man's place, chances are the man would simply invite her in for "a cup of tea". (Unless, of course, he'd be sufficiently far away from the standard I'm trying to describe.)

Simply put, I don't think it's fair to get angry with men just because they don't immediately grasp the concept of creepiness. We think differently about a lot of things, and assumptions of anything else can be, and often are, very wrong.

I thank the OP for this thread, because it's been enlightening on so many levels.


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pumibel
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06 May 2010, 4:29 pm

The reason I have been called creepy is because I was Gothy at times, (still am really). It had nothing to do with sexual advances. In fact, I have never hit on anyone. So I have to agree that we used the term differently. OF course, the Mary Kay women are creepy because they make other types of unwanted advances in order to build their MK empire.



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07 May 2010, 11:19 am

I get creepy when I like someone.


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07 May 2010, 7:20 pm

poopylungstuffing wrote:
I am not creepy as long as I don't talk to people...once soemthing happens that makes me start talking...it is then that I might become "creepy"....However...I am "scary" all the time...there are tons of people who are "scared" of me....like all the people who work for me...they all think I am some sort of monster....their diminutive boss on her hand flapping on tiptoes with head lowered...like some sort of ghoul out of a horror novel...


That would not come across as "creepy" or "scary" to me. It's what you might call a "pseudo-creepy". While many people may mistakenly think it's "creepy" it's really just eccentric. The truly "creepy" people are the ones that make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.


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08 May 2010, 5:11 am

MEATGRINDER wrote:
Rose_in_Winter wrote:

MEATGRINDER wrote:
always worried that a guy they find unattractive who shows interest in them might try to rape them and rape certainly IS a big risk for younger women.


There is so much to this statement....

1. The vast majority of rape is date rape; stranger rape is comparatively rare. Statistically, a woman should worry more about the attractive man she agreed to date than the unattractive man she did not. Of course, most dates do not end in rape.

2. Most men aren't rapists! That doesn't mean a woman should not be careful, but I think the majority of us know that not every man whom we reject is going to come after us. They are far more likely to move on to another woman until they find one who is attracted to them. We are not "always worried."

3. Rape is about power and rage, not sex, so a woman's age isn't necessarily a factor. While more young women report rape or other forms of sexual assault than other groups (although the elderly and children are also far too often victimized), any woman can be at risk of rape.

I am not trying to attack you, but there were some assumptions in your original post that bothered me. I just wanted to express alternate views on the subjects. For the record, I do not think I am a creep magnet. I am attracted to powerfully built men, and some of them have been creeps. Some of them -- like my husband -- have not.



First of all, do you have any STATS to back up statements 1 and 3???


As for statement 1, the US Bureau of Justice statistics show that only 26% of rape is stranger rape. The percetange of rape by a current or former sexual partner is also 26%. The number of women raped by a friend or acquaintance (also often called "date rape," although "acquaintance rape" is more fitting) is the highest, at 38%. The remainder reported rape that falls under the category of "another relative." As you can see, by the statistics the US Bureau of Justice collected, most rape survivors are in fact raped by someone they know.

As for 3, no, I have no stats. I'm not even sure about how to go about gathering them. I thought this was common knowledge, so I'm ashamed not to have facts on hand. I do remember reading somewhere that convicted rapists talked about the power and sense of dominance they felt, not about a desire for sex. I'm going to try to find something to support this, because I believe it is true. I've just heard it over and over!

MEATGRINDER wrote:
Regarding statement 2, I agree that most men aren't rapists but that Does Not Mean that rape, even by strangers, is uncommon!! !


I said no such thing! I never said rape was uncommon, and I'm not at all sure how statement 2 would imply I thought that. Like you, I know women who have been through harrowing experiences. I bet many people on this board know someone who has been sexually assaulted in some way. I am not trying to invalidate anyone's assault or any stalking incident. I know that rape is all too common, as well as under-reported. All I am saying is that most men do not assault or stalk women.



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11 May 2010, 4:29 am

I know for a fact some people find me creepy. More on the internet and usually losers.

In real life i'm so loud it doesn't really fit in with the whole "creepy" personality type (Quiet people) but when I don't know how to act it can and probably is seen as creepy.



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19 May 2010, 2:20 pm

huytongirl wrote:
Does anyone else get utter, consuming obsessions with men who don't feel the same way? I am struggling hard with this at the moment. Thie Women Who Love Too Much thing - the attraction to distant, emotionally unavailable men... Sound like anyone you know? Always had this problem of obsessions with men I can't have in my 20s: now, in my 40s, it has hit me again like stepping on a rake. I can't decide if this aspect of me is part of Asperger's (rife with obsessions, after all) or if it's just some other wonky part of my mental machinery. I'd love to know is anyone else is in this horrible sick neurotic state, and if anyone has the slightest clue about how to shake such consuming and miserable obsessions out of the head.

I mean, can there be some link - the drive to spot every train, the drive to spend every second with this baffled and wary man... Could this be the female version? Maybe not. Maybe it's just me. I'd like to know, though.


Consumed topic

i was one of those. It stopped at menopause, but I wish it had stopped sooner. i think it had something to do with hormones and AS. I envy women who did not gave to go through this. What a waste of years fighting it, and yes \i had to fight it or the consequences would have been awful. 8O 8O 8O


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