How can I definitely figure out if I'm an Aspie?

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tenzinsmom
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12 Apr 2010, 12:16 pm

Alright, women, help a newbie out?

After my son's diagnosis and my obession with learning all that I could about autism, I began to
wonder if I had it, too. But, there were so many missing symptoms for me that when I stumbled upon
"The Highly Sensitive Person" I decided that I was just highly sensitive and not autistic.

Why? Because I don't stim, I can make friends easily at times, I don't obsess about things into manifesting them--I obsess about things, collect
the materials to do whatever is I'm obsessing about at the time, and then move on to the next obession... However, so much of what I'm reading in these
forums I can relate to. Lots of stuff in the forum for AS parents...

The main deciding factor that I wasn't an aspie is because though I have a lot of anxiety about things, I can usually push through when I have to. If the things
causing anxiety is something that I need to do for survivial like a job interview. But things I'd like to do but find difficult, I do tend to put off for a time or indefinitely.

I am definitely different, because I can feel it and people have told me so.

I'm sure this topic comes up a lot. It might even be here in this forum somewhere but there doesn't seem to be a search option and I don't have time to sort through the 100's of threads.

How do I figure this out? Whether I'm on the spectrum or not? I don't have any money to throw around or waste on professionals who don't know what they are doing. I don't come out with AS on the do-it-yourself tests. But I find those tests to reflect the exact reason why I'm so confused, because my oddness is contextual and not an all-the-time occurance. Those tests are too generalized I find to be accurate.

Can one be a little bit autistic? Maybe in the end that's what being Highly Sensitive means, a step or two shy of autism.

What do you think? Any guidance? I'd just like to know so that I can understand myself better.

Thanks for reading!



LadyMacbeth
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12 Apr 2010, 12:49 pm

I'm not sure how old you are, but the older one gets, the more coping strategies one forms, for example your job interview thing - you never got help with that, and you would be unemployed without a job, so you've managed to create a coping strategy to get through it. This may be why you're missing a few "symptoms". Remember, not every autistic person is alike, and this is more obvious in women.

I too have the obsession weirdness you have - get really interested in something for a few months, then move on and barely go back to it, and if I do it's with a lot lower enthusiasm.

My partner and his two autistic sons don't stim, at least not obviously. It does depend on what you recognise as a stim, and whether you're aware you're doing it. But that being said, it's not a definite "you have to have this to be this" trait.


I'm not saying you are, but I'm not saying you're not, either.


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tenzinsmom
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12 Apr 2010, 1:23 pm

Thanks for replying Lady McBeth! That's helpful information, especially the stimming part.

I'm 38.

I'm thinking that this subject gets really old and trying for you all since there's lots of views but only one response.

I did find a list of female asperger traits in here in another thread.

There's highlighting all over it. The least amount of highlighting (true for me), was in the social /relationships which is how I figured that I wasn't autistic before. But in the rest, there's so much that is true for me or close to it. I find that some of the indications are much truer for me as an adult than when I was a teenager.

Due to the circumstances of my life--lots of chaos, moving around, changing circumstances--I'm either an aspie who used her intelligence to adapt, or I'm just a sensitive person who isn't typical.

Anyway, it's a general question, so let me break it down further for you.

1. If you were in my position, ready to figure it out, what resources helped you the most?

2. Can anyone make a suggestion of what kind of professional to seek out? Not too expensive?

3. Anyone in the Seattle area can make a referral to me for someone highly capable of diagnosing an adult?

THANKS, I can't tell you how much I appreciate any amount of input.



Gigi830
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12 Apr 2010, 1:34 pm

tenzinsmom wrote:
Alright, women, help a newbie out?

After my son's diagnosis and my obession with learning all that I could about autism, I began to
wonder if I had it, too. But, there were so many missing symptoms for me that when I stumbled upon
"The Highly Sensitive Person" I decided that I was just highly sensitive and not autistic.

Why? Because I don't stim, I can make friends easily at times, I don't obsess about things into manifesting them--I obsess about things, collect
the materials to do whatever is I'm obsessing about at the time, and then move on to the next obession... However, so much of what I'm reading in these
forums I can relate to. Lots of stuff in the forum for AS parents...

The main deciding factor that I wasn't an aspie is because though I have a lot of anxiety about things, I can usually push through when I have to. If the things
causing anxiety is something that I need to do for survivial like a job interview. But things I'd like to do but find difficult, I do tend to put off for a time or indefinitely.

I am definitely different, because I can feel it and people have told me so.

I'm sure this topic comes up a lot. It might even be here in this forum somewhere but there doesn't seem to be a search option and I don't have time to sort through the 100's of threads.

How do I figure this out? Whether I'm on the spectrum or not? I don't have any money to throw around or waste on professionals who don't know what they are doing. I don't come out with AS on the do-it-yourself tests. But I find those tests to reflect the exact reason why I'm so confused, because my oddness is contextual and not an all-the-time occurance. Those tests are too generalized I find to be accurate.

Can one be a little bit autistic? Maybe in the end that's what being Highly Sensitive means, a step or two shy of autism.

What do you think? Any guidance? I'd just like to know so that I can understand myself better.

Thanks for reading!


I believe they call "being a little autistic" either "mild" or "having autistic traits".

I was recently diagnosed with AS.
I went to a neuropsych after years of me and my husband (Who has AS too) suspecting it. Since we had our son a few months ago, I noticed I am getting worse- having a kid is hard for anyone, especially the primary care giver which happens to be me. However, over time they fall into the groove of things and get more organized. Not me. I have been the opposite: I can't seem to pull off the multitasking that is pretty much required to get the bare minimum done. The baby gets taken care of for sure, but nothing else really does. Any parent gets tired after a day with the baby, but by the end of the day I am practically "nonverbal" I am so overstimulated.

As far as obsessions go, you sound just like me. My research projects, as I like to call them, are in general pretty pointless. I list and catagorize things just to do so. That is pretty much the point to me. I like making lists and gathering info on a few subjects. I don't DO anything with the info really. I don't think it matters what you do with it, it's the fact that you have specific interests you obsess over. It's the obsessing that's usually present in Autistics/Aspergers, at least that's what it seems like to me. I have forgotten to eat for long periods or time, I have forgotton to shower, I have failed classes because instead of doing the HW I need to I am spending many hours researching stuff about rocks. Seriously. Do I want to be a geologist? Not particularly. Maybe. All I know is I love to gather info about rocks (especially semi-precious stones) and maybe a few of the rocks themselves. There's really no point beyond that. Rocks are just one osession. Religions of the world is another. Am I religious? Defintiely not. I just find what people believe to be interesting. If I wasn't so terrified/bad at public speaking and had some organizational skills I might make a good Religious Studies professor. That's my experience with that.

As for friends, I am the "talking" sort of Aspie- at least that is how my husband describes it. When I get nervous or overstimulated I JABBER incessantly. My "internal editor", which is normaly pretty faulty, pretty much shuts down entirely. Sometimes this comes off as me being "extroverted" and kooky in a sort of "charming" way, sometimes I just look like a random idiot who is sharing TMI. I can actually make friends in the short term fairly well if I am reasonably prepared (ie interviews, weddings, holiday get togethers) and not too overstimulated (for instance how I am at the beginning of a work day is very different from the end. usually by the end I seem like a babbling idiot or raving Banshee). Most people I know (aquaintinces really) seem surprised if they find out I have AS...but those I have spent long work days with or those who have lived wth me think it makes a lot of sense. As far as KEEPING friends I have made- that is REALLY hard. They think I am a flake because I disappear for months, not wanting to socialize, even on the phone. I have a few friends now, but I only call one. And she's beyond patient. I hardly call her, but she seems to understand.

Well, so that is MY experience. Basically, if things are going good for you, I wouldn't worry too much about it. But if you are feeling very confused about what is going on I would seek out a Dr. - but make sure they know what they are doing. Some have some really crazy, arcahic ideas about autism in general. for example, my husband is very clearly an Aspie but he has had drs in the past say he "was cured" :roll: or that he was misdiagnosed because he SOMETIMES makes slight eye contact. That's because he taught himself to do so. You can tell when talking to him that it isn't natural. To most he just comes of as disinterested or "ADD" but in reality he is trying to balance staring with too little eye contact- one extreme or another. He has to mentally micro-manage it. As do I. NTs do not think about eye contact. it is natural. That's just one exampe. Another Dr tried to tell him to "pray" his Asperger's away :roll:
You just kind of have to interview and see if they actually know what they are talking about. And that's IF your insurance covers even talking to them. If not I wouldn't worry about it. There are many nondiagnosed obvious Autistics/Aspergers. If you aren't needing some kind of assisstance (ie you are in school or need special considerations at work or something) it really doesn't matter OFFICIALLY. Some may think those who are undiagnosed are "less" or don't count or something, but with how the health system works today some have no choice but to go undiagnosed. You sound like a capable, intelligent person, if YOU feel there are just too many signs, you must have AS then you make that decision for yourself :)


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Last edited by Gigi830 on 12 Apr 2010, 2:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Willard
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12 Apr 2010, 1:42 pm

tenzinsmom wrote:
I don't come out with AS on the do-it-yourself tests. But I find those tests to reflect the exact reason why I'm so confused, because my oddness is contextual and not an all-the-time occurance. Those tests are too generalized I find to be accurate.

Can one be a little bit autistic? Maybe in the end that's what being Highly Sensitive means, a step or two shy of autism.


Not a woman, but I will comment. The online tests, while not the equivalent of formal testing and diagnosis, do seem to be fairly accurate - if you don't score pretty squarely in the Asperger range, but you find you do resonate to a lot of the same issues, chances are you'd be diagnosed as PDD-NOS, which is, as you say "a little bit autistic".

I'll also point out, as I often do with the newly diagnosed who invariably refer to their case of AS (as I did in the beginning) as 'mild' - it is entirely possible to have developed so many coping mechanisms over many decades, that you don't realize how hard you are actually struggling to maintain the facade of 'normalcy'. I wore my NT mask for so long ( a poor one, as I now realize, but a mask nonetheless), that I had come to believe a lot of my affectations-for-acceptance were who I really was.

It was only when I realized how strained and pathetically artificial my act was, that I decided to let it go and be who I had always really been inside, and it was such a huge unburdening. I only realized how stressful the pretending was, when I no longer felt forced to do it.



Gigi830
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12 Apr 2010, 2:54 pm

tenzinsmom wrote:
Thanks for replying Lady McBeth! That's helpful information, especially the stimming part.

I'm 38.

I'm thinking that this subject gets really old and trying for you all since there's lots of views but only one response.

I did find a list of female asperger traits in here in another thread.

There's highlighting all over it. The least amount of highlighting (true for me), was in the social /relationships which is how I figured that I wasn't autistic before. But in the rest, there's so much that is true for me or close to it. I find that some of the indications are much truer for me as an adult than when I was a teenager.

Due to the circumstances of my life--lots of chaos, moving around, changing circumstances--I'm either an aspie who used her intelligence to adapt, or I'm just a sensitive person who isn't typical.

Anyway, it's a general question, so let me break it down further for you.

1. If you were in my position, ready to figure it out, what resources helped you the most?

2. Can anyone make a suggestion of what kind of professional to seek out? Not too expensive?

3. Anyone in the Seattle area can make a referral to me for someone highly capable of diagnosing an adult?

THANKS, I can't tell you how much I appreciate any amount of input.


1. I researched psychiatrists online- reviews, online sources, I googled psychiatrists and Aspergers and found some helpful sites with lists of drs. who are supposed to know what they are doing. Found one sort of near me, emailed him, but he wasn't accepting new patients. I told him where I lived and asked if he could make any suggestions about who I should see. he suggested a few and I chose the neuropsychiatrist, any psychiatrist SHOULD know what they are doing but a neuropsych would technically be a better choice since their focus involves neurological disordes and such.

Found a great, very knowledgable dr. that way. Of course, I still consider that lucky, she could have been really bad. I think I lucked out. She understood what I was saying, what I was concerned about, agreed with me that I didn't need meds (since I don't seem to have any of the co-morbid things like ADD or OCD that sometimes happen with AS). After diagnosing me, she directed me to a therapist to help me learn social and organizational skills (which I told her was the main point of me seeking diagnosis). I actually have my 1st appt with that dr. today. So far it worked out great for me, but I have a PPO insurace plan which doesn't require that I get a referral to see a psychiatrist. My sister actually has a learning disorder called Auditory Processing Disorder, but my parents only had an HMO and it took them FOREVER to figure out what was going on, what with all the evalutions and then referrals and misdiagnoses. Not sure if that's how ALL HMOs handle it, just know that we had a hard time with ours.

Anyway, the point is that only a psychiatrist can actually diagnose. Therapists can help with other things, like learning life skills for instance, and if the suspect some kind of Dx they are supposed to refer that person the a psychiatrist. At least that's the way I understand it to be.

2. So I guess I already answered what KIND to seek, as for price I think they're all genrally "expensive" especially if testing is required, however since I am not in school and I work from home (and my explanations of what was going on were so obviously related to AS) she didn't feel testing was necessary to see what my specific learning issues were. It is apparently p to the individual drs to decide what is enough evidence in order to diagnose. In my case, I have a likely family history since I am so much like my dad (he is a stereotypical "Aspie"). She said that with meeting me, discussing my history (especially my childhood) and concerns, AND the description of my dad she was sure enough without the tests, just looking at the list of criteria I had shown not all but plenty of them to diagnose. That was my experience, can't speak for others.

3. Not in Seattle but there is a list online, I think there is one on it. Google "Asperger's Disorder Clinicians List". This is where I found the Dr that eventually referred me to my dr.

Hope some of this is helpful and good luck :)


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Gigi830
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12 Apr 2010, 3:15 pm

BTW, have to agree with the whole "learning coping mechanisms" thing. That is why so many with Asperger's go undiagnosed or get late diagnoses. My husband was 30 when he got Dx, I am 28. Looking back, he went unDx because he had not so attentive parents and I did because I had parents who were so "impressed" with my "little professor" ways and thought I was just a lot like my dad (yeah, who is an obvious Aspie, LOL) so they didn't think much of how I didn't want to play with other kids or that I could read and speak like an adult by 4 but couldn't tie my shoes, swim, or ride a bike until 12 o.0 They told me that all the kids made fun of me because I was smart and that they were jealous. They said I would make friends easier later in life. Well, that never really happened LOL and now that I have been Dx they're like, "OOOOhhh, so THAT'S what was going on."

Anyway, I learned, like others have said, many coping strategies because I really had no choice. For instance my eye contact is bad. I have learned to try to look, but not TOO much. What usually happens is I appear "snobby" by not looking, or "flirtatious" or "intimidating" if I look too much. When not too tired or over stimulated I can manage it quite well. It gets worse the more tired/over-stim. I get. I am constantly micro-managing it. Aspies tend to be intelligent and great at self-teaching. Many have learned to appear "normal" due to trial and error and observation of those around them. However, even though they learn to appear this way, inside they are micro-managing things- like I said, eye contact, or maybe learning to say stock phrases during small talk, etc....NTs do this without thinking much, if any, about it.


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