Page 1 of 1 [ 7 posts ] 

Miyah
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2007
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 741

11 Sep 2011, 4:04 pm

I currently work at a part-time job which I has been for 7 and a half years. It also happens to be 30 minutes North of where I live. However, due the recent recession, the local route going up to this area was limited to every hour 6 years ago and then eventually cut in early 2010 which left me to ride depend on Paratransit. I had ordered them for Friday but ended up getting sick with a cold and feeling dizzy so I called to cancel and called in sick On Friday, I got sidetracked when I stayed home and studied all day and realized that I forgot to call about 8:30 PM.

There was another female co-worker who I get along with and happened to contact me today by way of AIM who asked if I was going in tomorrow. I tried to tell her the situation but she and started going off on me that I am a selfish person for not calling in and that I could have done this or that to prevent this from happening. She also said that her mother was reading everything that I wrote and also tried to tell me that I was being selfish. I also tried to explain that there were no other ways to really get to work other than Paratransit and that all my friends were out of reach since they go a different way or don't drive period. They then tried to compare me to how much more responsible they are in making sure that they call Paratransit. (This girl has a different disability and is afraid to call on the phone to Paratransit and has her her mother do it for her.) She then tried to convince me that she still had a way to get to Paratransit. I then jumped to conclusions in thinking that her mother was able to drive her into work. However, they then twisted what I said by telling me that I was putting words into her mouth and what I was doing was a form of lying and gossiping. They then brought out that I often got things mixed up all the time which is something that does happen but they were using that against me. Finally, this co-worker tried accuse me of making sure that I had a ride to work with Paratransit to class but not to work and I told her that wasn't true. She also said that I have to be told what to do because I forgot to call in and that I needed to be responsible. I then replied to her that I am responsible and I work hard at it everyday and that she wasn't being very nice for meddling in other people's affairs.

How do I calmy handle this in a professional manner? What are some ideas for back up that I could look into to get to work?



Mindslave
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Nov 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,034
Location: Where the wild things wish they were

11 Sep 2011, 6:32 pm

The only way to handle it on a professional manner is to not engage with her. That means not starting with her, it doesn't mean not to answer her accusations. It sounds like you handled this as well as you could. I don't know of alternative transit options.



pschristmas
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Apr 2008
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 959
Location: Buda, TX

11 Sep 2011, 6:53 pm

Well, it's over and done for the moment, and you handled it pretty well. At this point, I'd say let it drop. She may have been having a bad day and been overly critical for that reason. If she brings it up again over AIM while you are both on your own time, tell her firmly but politely that if there are any work issues, they are between you and your supervisor. If she brings it up at work, ask her to come with you to your supervisor's workspace so that the three of you can discuss the issue. (This will very likely result in her backing off completely, since she is probably well aware that the issue is none of her business.)



Miyah
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2007
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 741

11 Sep 2011, 7:10 pm

I don't think she is interested in being a friend to me at this time since she happened to have a friend on wrong planet whom she talks to. She also happened to find this posting and is accusing me of badmouthing her on here and that she won't forgive me and is going to talk to the boss about what I said.



pschristmas
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Apr 2008
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 959
Location: Buda, TX

11 Sep 2011, 7:22 pm

It's only badmouthing if you name names or make it so she can be recognized. You haven't. Let her take it to the supervisor if she wishes. She will only look like a hysteric for bringing up private issues at work. Be clear and polite if you have to speak with your supervisor about this, and let him or her know how sorry you are that a private issue has become, in spite of your best efforts to keep it private, a work issue. You don't need her to be your friend, just a civil co-worker.



Miyah
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2007
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 741

12 Sep 2011, 8:35 am

I decided to contact the job coach who comes in once a month to help us resolve issues at work and also help work on other areas such as writing a resume and work on interview skills. (I am doing these because I am currently looking for another job elsewhere). He and I had said that it really wasn't any of my co-worker's or their family member's business to be telling me when I go into work. He and I both agreed that this should be between myself and my supervisors who are even more aware of my situation than the other two were.



pschristmas
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Apr 2008
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 959
Location: Buda, TX

12 Sep 2011, 12:39 pm

Good for you. That sounds like a great solution. The job coach sounds like a wonderful resource for you.