Possible reason for lack of attraction to anyone?-women only

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Peko
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22 Sep 2009, 10:42 pm

Women ONLY!

Basically, I was wondering if it could be possible to be mis-wired (in the sexual/pleasure centered areas of the brain) so you cannot experience any form of physical pleasure? I cannot recall ever experiencing this (even when eating & such, though I do have certain foods I prefer the taste/texture of) closest things I've ever gotten were a calming or painful/freaky affect (from anything). Its the main reason that when I tell people I'm asexual (to avoid being asked out at all costs b/c I can't tell if I'm attractive so I go w/ "just in case, cover it") and they tell me to masturbate, I think "will not work". :roll: This happen(ed) to anyone else? Also, can a woman be born w/o a clitoris (asking b/c though I think I found mine/went through phase where paranoid I might lack one) :oops: ? B/c if not (I'm pretty much certain all women have clit's b/c it develops from same tissue in utero that guy's penis comes from b4 birth/being full term), is it possible for it to feel no sensation or just pain (cause if I found it I felt nothing at all)? Or at the very least have pleasure centers which are really difficult to activate?

p.s. avoiding gyno b/c not a fan of idea of having cervix scraped (sounds like a majorly awkward ouchy! :? :oops:)


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ouinon
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23 Sep 2009, 9:15 am

Peko wrote:
I was wondering if it could be possible to be mis-wired (in the sexual/pleasure centered areas of the brain) so cannot experience any form of physical pleasure? I cannot recall ever experiencing this; closest things I've ever gotten were a calming or painful/freaky affect (from anything). Its the main reason that I tell people I'm asexual, and they tell me to masturbate, I think "will not work". :roll: This happen(ed) to anyone else? Also, can a woman be born w/o a clitoris (asking b/c though I think I found mine/went through phase where paranoid I might lack one) :oops: ? B/c if not is it possible for it to feel no sensation or just pain (cause if I found it I felt nothing at all)? Or at the very least have pleasure centers which are really difficult to activate?

I am pretty sure that it is impossible to not have either a clitoris or a penis or some kind of sensitive tissue amounting to the same thing ( as in a few very rare genetic conditions ).

But I had a similar experience, when first ever trying to use tampax, aged 18 and a half ( :oops: ), because had first ever boyfriend and we were going away for a week on holiday together just when my period was due, ( of course! ), and I couldn't seem to find a hole to put it in, and I was seriously worried that perhaps I didn't have the normal bits. I succeeded eventually but it was a real trial! And I did worry.

I also embarrassed myself hugely in a biology A-level ( 18 years old ), class when dissecting a rat and we were asked to state sex of rat, ... and I said mine was male, ... and it was actually a female. I had thought that the bits I observed were male organs collapsed in death. :oops: ;)

Anyway, to return to the subject: I didn't experience any pleasure/excitement either, and virtually no sensation, ( apart from the "soothing" or "irritating/painful" sort of feelings that you described ), until I was 20, and then only after I had spent an hour, ( or possibly more ), on my own, following the advice of a new/different and more insistent boyfriend to masturbate for however long it took to wake things up. And then I did feel something, ( a sort of "level 1" orgasm :wink: ), and things improved from then on, in phases; ranging from rather pedestrian, but sexual, "nice feelings" on getting enough stimulation, ( which unfortunately for this boyfriend was rather more than he had probably anticipated/hoped for, but his male pride required that he "satisfy me" each time! Yawns all round actually ), in the beginning/for a few years, to complete and utter bliss/out of this world stuff at times, ( somewhat later ), with both men and women.

It certainly took me a long time to "get" sexual excitement, to connect the dots so to speak in my nervous system, and also mentally, because I think for a very long time I didn't actually even experience real intimacy with anyone; it seemed to be impossible for me. What turned me on was "dynamics"/storylines/concepts and imagined sexual relationships, not people, and I am still like that to a great extent. A real person's body didn't seem to have much to do with sexual excitement for me, until a lot later, and even then only in the context of certain dynamics.

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Peko
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23 Sep 2009, 12:00 pm

I'm just glad I'm not the only one w/ these kind of issues. :)
By the way, the not being able to find the hole thing w/ tampons is not uncommon. My mother wanted me to avoid this issue & showed me how to put one in, though in beginning major ouchy. This might sound weird but if you cannot find something like that, I suggest a handheld mirror :oops: :wink:.


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Balance is needed within the universe, can be demonstrated in most/all concepts/things. Black/White, Good/Evil, etc.
All dependent upon your own perspective in your own form of existence, so trust your own gut and live the way YOU want/need to.


ouinon
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25 Sep 2009, 4:11 am

Peko wrote:
By the way, the not being able to find the hole thing w/ tampons is not uncommon. My mother wanted me to avoid this issue & showed me how to put one in, though in beginning major ouchy. This might sound weird but if you cannot find something like that, I suggest a handheld mirror :oops: :wink:.

Yes, I finally plucked up the courage to look at this unknown part of my body with a mirror some time in my mid to late twenties. ;) Astonishing that it didn't occur to me before, to find out what it all looked like; but "out of sight out of mind" was probably a major factor, and may have contributed to my obliviousness/lack of sensation in that area. :)

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Mmmph
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30 Sep 2009, 11:58 pm

ouinon wrote:
Peko wrote:
By the way, the not being able to find the hole thing w/ tampons is not uncommon. My mother wanted me to avoid this issue & showed me how to put one in, though in beginning major ouchy. This might sound weird but if you cannot find something like that, I suggest a handheld mirror :oops: :wink:.

Yes, I finally plucked up the courage to look at this unknown part of my body with a mirror some time in my mid to late twenties. ;) Astonishing that it didn't occur to me before, to find out what it all looked like; but "out of sight out of mind" was probably a major factor, and may have contributed to my obliviousness/lack of sensation in that area. :)

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That's so funny! I used a mirror in my 20's for the first time, too!
My reaction went something like, "THE TEXTBOOKS WERE WRONG!"

To be honest, I was so afraid of using a tampon, it took me until I was 20 to start using them.