Page 1 of 2 [ 22 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Huskywolf
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 58

08 Jan 2009, 3:27 pm

FieryGatoh wrote:
God no! Please don't say this is what is going to happen to me when I hit 22 8O

The only children I can stand are of the feline variety (and puppy variety. And pretty much animal variety)

This is EXACTLY what I was thinking... *worries*

I'd help take care of animal babies any day, but human ones...no no no no no never! *shudders*



ValleyBridetoBe
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 12 Aug 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 103
Location: Canada

08 Jan 2009, 11:04 pm

I have gone through stages where I've wanted a large family (3-5 children), and then none at all. And I've just drifted back and forth. My fiance is supportive of either route, whether we do have children (and the number) or if we have none. I am not sure.. I was an only child and never had much experience with kids. I think my biggest reason for not wanting any is the whole financial aspect as my fiance is the only one working, and also environmental factors, and hearing how the world is overpopulated.. etc. I have 3 cats I absolutely adore and they're like my babies.



sheknight
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jan 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 40

11 Jan 2009, 1:31 am

Ladygirl, I was your age when I had my daughter, one month shy of my 22nd birthday. Prior to the oops!, I didn't want kids at all. But for some reason, I really, really, wanted her, once I found out I was pregnant. She's almost 18 now, and I have loved being her mother. I've never had the urge since to have another one, though. I think that's partly because I had what's known as "silent labor", which is very rare. The day I went into labor, I was at my mom's house. I'd been there all day, and while I was feeling no pain, I kept feeling a slight tightening sensation in my abdomen. I told my mom, and she said I needed to get to the hospital and get checked out. The doc discovered that I was already dilated 8 centimeters, and informed me that I was too far along to be able to get drugged. No biggie, I thought, because so far I hadn't felt any of the agony women describe. Boy, was I in for a surprise! I was still pain free, until it came time to push. The pain was so intense that I hallucinated, and the doc turned into a monkey right before my eyes. That memory may be what's kept me off the baby train ever since. But the one I have was well worth it.



BellaDonna
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Dec 2008
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,858

11 Jan 2009, 2:29 am

I have AS. No one else in my family has AS and my daughters father didn't have AS but my daughter has AS. So the chances of your child being born with a developmental disability are high. Unless you have a supportive partner that doesn't have a disability and you have an income that can provide your child with all she/he needs. I would advise NO don't have a baby. I really wanted to have my baby. Last night I remember how beautiful my daughter was as a baby. I cried myself to sleep because I recently had an abortion.

Even with all the supports do you think you can adequately meet all your childs needs with having AS. I am a mother and I have not been able to meet all my daughters needs and have had to rely on the state to care for my daughter. That is not my idea of having or raising children. I love my daughter but I regret ever having her because irrespective of all the treasured moments you share with your children, it has been hell.

I had to go throught the courts and get DNA test done to prove who the father was. He refused at first but he didn't have any choice. I hated being pregnant and I had to other internal examinations that were legally documented. This was so humilating. I could hardly look after her when she was born. I had to have a C section because I was too small and it really hurts. I nearly accidently drowned her giving her a bath. All the people that are associated with her father and his friends hate me for putting him through the courts and still do. I didn't ever say he was a paedophile but I had no choice. People forced me to. My mom treated me like I was a slut and the Lawyers stated that I was mildly intellectually disabled of which I am not. With all that pressure when she was 3 years old I had a nervous break down and was admitted into a psych ward.

So it has been hell as my experience as an AS mom with an AS child and it is not only because of my situation. This is the third foster home my daughter has been to because of her autism the carers find it challenging to meet her needs. They refuse to look after her when they can't because she becomes violent. She has even been in a home with other ret*d children. By that I mean severly disabled and autistic. Her IQ is in the gifted range. She was nothing like the other children.

Think and think again.



sheknight
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jan 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 40

11 Jan 2009, 3:12 am

BellaDonna, that's really rough. I don't think I'd be strong enough to get through what you went through.

To procreate, or not to procreate, is definitely a case by case situation. I know I couldn't have done it without the extensive support I had, though, that's for sure.



Haliphron
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jan 2008
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,980

11 Jan 2009, 6:54 pm

Greyhound wrote:
It's something weird that happens to most females. Something makes them think they want children when they really don't :lol:



Women are biologically wired to want children, or at least the vast majority of them are :wink: . When I see a baby(bear in mind that I have NO children of my own yet or any on the way :? ) if its a girl I think "awwww!" but its a boy I'm thinking "grr, that little motherf_cker"..... :lol:



BokeKaeru
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Jun 2008
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 535
Location: Boston, MA

12 Jan 2009, 6:00 am

I hope I never get the baby rabies. D: I wonder if being asexual will make me immune to that whole thing... it better, because I wouldn't be able to handle the whole breeding thing and produce a minimally functional individual out of it, knowing my issues.