This is Torturing Me - Asexuality and ASD

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Right, for the majority of my life I've been on 100mg of Sertraline. 10 years or so. I'm only 20. Just this month I was able to go as low as 25mg and in a week or so I will be off of it altogether. I was hoping that I'd get some resurgence of libido that I've never felt before with this lowering but s**t seems just the same as it was when I was on 100mg.

I don't really have any urge to "procreate". In fact the thought disgusts me. I couldn't bring a child into this world if I tried. It wouldn't be fair to the child. I don't see why others would want to either. Child birth is nasty. You have something GROWING INSIDE of you.

I've never had a steady girlfriend. Girls as friends. Never really went in for sex so I'm still a virgin. Partly by choice/partly by circumstance. My masturbation isn't even done out of lust. It's done out of boredom. There's no passion that goes into it. I watch some fetish material on the internet and get it over with. I don't even watch "intercourse" porn.

I have a bit of a hatred for women as well (North American women in particular) but that's besides the point. I don't eat well, I'm about 6ft, 135lbs. Scrawny, not a good physique, etc. But I have no dedication to improve to attract a mate.

What I want is a formal diagnoses from my shrink for Asexuality. I want a conclusion to this. An end to my wondering. If I can hold off on sexual releases until Feb 7th which is when I will come off of the Zoloft entirely, I will consider myself asexual.

I would like comments on this. what do you think? This is rather important to me.

Hmmm...if you have no interest in sex at all, does it really matter if you regain your libido when you cease taking Zoloft?

Asexuality isn't a thing to be ashamed of.

Even though I enjoy sex (when I can get it), I can really take it or leave it. Sex isn't something I'll go out of my way to get...it's a bit overrated...and you don't need to procreate just to have some fun anyway.

If you don't like your body, then you won't like sex.

Yeah, it's pretty easy not to miss something you're not likely to get any time soon.

I, too am celibate by circumstance and if I had the choice, I wouldn't be - but because I cannot get any, it's easier to say 'I don't want any' - if that makes sense...it puts my mind at ease about not having to go out of my way to score.

You are only young at 20...I am 51 and pretty much over it anyway.

There's still a lot of time for you to find a girlfriend and decide if you want to have sex...and seeing as how it's not a priority for you anyway, I wouldn't worry about it too much.

All the best with it.

You are not alone. I know exactly how you feel. I never really understood the traditional mating game that people play. I got made fun of a lot when I was a teenager for not pursuing sex. I even had a few girlfriends and did some sexual stuff just to be normal. I got really obsessed about it. At some point I thought I was possibly gay, because everybody said I was. They thought I was gay because I never hit on women. I hate to admit this, but lost my virginity just to prove to the girl that I wasn't gay. It was the most harmful thing I have done in my life because I broke the girl's heart. She had feelings for me, and I just wanted to prove a point.

There is a lot of pressure from others to have sex--especially at your age. Asexuality IS stigmatized because it is outside the norm. However, there is nothing wrong with it. Despite popular belief, not every person is meant to mate. There have always been people in society who have chosen not to date for a variety of reasons.

Be true to yourself. If you don't want to have sex, don't do it. If a girl likes you and wants to pursue a romantic relationship with you, be honest with her about your lack of desire for sex. That is the only fair thing to do because she will be expecting a normal sex life within the relationship. If you don't like sex but do have romantic feelings, maybe search for a mate who is also asexual. I think they have dating sites specifically for people who are asexual.

I can see waiting until marriage but no sex? Ever?

Ummmmm, I'm actually quite obsessed with sex. Wish I knew what your secret is. Even when I'm thinking meh, women don't do it for me I'm secretly hoping in the back of my mind this will make me more attractive. Lol

But if you don't want sex I mean, life complete, most people spend their every waking minute trying to get some. If you're out of that loop I'd say there's really nothing to ever feel sh***y about. You're just totally off the grid.

In a way I'd consider it the truest way that people keep "score" as far as success goes. what else is there? Money? fame? Good deeds?

Zoloft absolutely kills libido. I'd give your body more of a chance to recover before thinking of yourself as asexual.

Sorry to break it to you but took me something like six months to get back to normal sexual function.

Let me make something perfectly clear. I get erections in the morning sometimes. I CAN get erections. I get them at random times on occasion.

The primitive monkey inside of me doesn't say "have sex" though.

Asexuality is not a diagnosis because it's not a disorder.

You can't be diagnosed as an asexual for the same reason you can't be diagnosed as a homosexual (not by any competent doctor, anyways).

Maybe I should just wait until Feb 7th and a bit after.

All I can do is eat right and exercise in hopes of attracting I guess. I don't really treat my body right sleeping in and eating 1/2 meals a day. I need to think of it as a question of priorities.

1. Get off the Zoloft in a week or so totally
2. Gain weight
3. Focus on chosing a career of some sort
4. Side s**t

I'm going to be pretty angry if I'm asexual. That's like...a HUGE portion of my life un visited. The sexual portion.

You have functioning genitalia. If you want to have sex, you can, even if you're asexual. Well, assuming you can find someone to have sex with.

If you're prohibitively disgusted by sex, I find it hard to understand why you would mind missing out on the "experience".