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Are you a serious or playful Aspie?
1. Serious: I prefer the direct approach. No challenges, sex jokes or head games. Just honesty 83%  83%  [ 39 ]
2. Playful: Oh yeah! Flirt baby! 17%  17%  [ 8 ]
Total votes : 47

Lifeistoohard
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07 May 2015, 12:40 pm

For me, #1 all the way.



auntblabby
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07 May 2015, 2:41 pm

mee too :)



dryope
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07 May 2015, 7:40 pm

Weird question. My personality is not defined by such simple statements.

Flirting is an advanced social skill, not a personality, by the way. I know because I didn't understand it at all until one exact moment when someone explained it to me in a way I understood and then it was like a light switched on, and everything changed. I think a lot of autistic people never get that light switched on, so they are not going to be able to participate in flirting. I figured it out pretty late, and it had been difficult dating before then.
I can use this understanding to flirt when I need to now...and when I was in my 20s I got really into that. But it was like a special interest, a skill I wanted to refine. Now I'm on other things, and it doesn't interest me anymore.


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Aniihya
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08 May 2015, 2:26 am

You can expect most people to say number one because many people with ASD cannot be flirty.



Kraichgauer
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08 May 2015, 10:33 am

I lean more toward 1, as I hate mind games and prefer a direct approach, but since meeting my wife, I've become much more sexually liberated.


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Booyakasha
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08 May 2015, 10:59 am

Moved from News and Current Events.



C2V
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08 May 2015, 11:15 am

#1 for me. Probably too serious for my own good. I can joke and be playful, but usually only with people I know well who won't be offended when I come off as insulting. I don't mean anything by it, just joking, but if you didn't have a thick skin you may be hurt unintentionally.
Incidentally if anyone is NT or an autistic with more information than I have, can anyone explain what exactly flirting is for? I've never understood this, and usually have responded with annoyance and insisted anyone doing this to me cut the s**t and just spit it out. It comes across to me as the person trying to deceive me, trying to be coy and dishonest and I don't understand why. Why is this behaviour favoured instead of a genuine connection?


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08 May 2015, 11:40 am

I'm not much of a flirt, but I do love joking around. Playful humor is an easier way of expressing myself than just raw feelings.



goldfish21
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08 May 2015, 12:19 pm

#2, but with friends/coworkers/family etc. I'm definitely one to joke and make sexual references (jokes, nothing crude), however, I have NEVER been one to flirt with someone in public. The main reason for this is because I'm gay and don't know who else is or isn't gay when out and about in public, so I've never risked flirting with a guy that might not be gay. God bless the internet for being able to connect with other gay guys. 8)


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Tornado_Jones
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08 May 2015, 1:32 pm

Interesting, I would probably lean towards #1 personally, but Mrs Jones disagrees... Apparently I'm a total flirt but don't realise, I just see it as being friendly. Interesting the difference between perception between two Aspies! :)



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09 May 2015, 5:56 am

It depends. Direct and serious is easiest for me to process. But I like to try joking around a bit sometimes. As far as sexual innuendo goes, I don't understand it and would never attempt it.



kraftiekortie
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09 May 2015, 10:45 am

You should have had an "in between" option.

That's me. It depends on my mood. I don't like emotional game-players.



Agemaki
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09 May 2015, 12:49 pm

Both! I am very honest and I love inappropriate jokes.



nerdygirl
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10 May 2015, 6:03 am

I am so much #1. I was asked by my mother all the time growing up, "Why do you have to be so serious?"

I can be funny, but my funny is so situational, and one must be there to catch my jokes or silly behavior. It only comes out to those who know me *very* well and spend a *lot* of time with me (so, mainly just family.) I can goof off a little bit in front of my students because they are kids. But even then what is mostly "funny" is my quirks.

I do tease people from time to time, but I always say I am. I don't know how it would be perceived, so I make it clear.



BirdInFlight
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10 May 2015, 6:10 am

I can be playful and jokey with someone I'm emotionally close with, but overwhelmingly I'm more of a serious person.

I cannot stand sarcastic humor where I'm supposed to instantly process that someone's just being clever and ironic or nicely teasing me. I do best when dealing with someone who is direct and sincere, and I'm pretty direct and sincere/serious myself. It's just more straightforward. All that other stuff seriously does my head in.

I have a friend/aquaintance at the moment who makes a lot of gently teasing jokes interjected in what is otherwise a serious, "normal" conversation, and it really irritates me. It takes me out of the moment so badly that I feel like he's just dropped a bomb into the conversation, everything's kind of shattered, and now I can't continue to think straight.

On the other hand, I've had certain friendships where the both of us got along really humorously with each other and it was fun and great. So I can be fun (lest it be thought not! :lol: ) but when it's a serious conversation and someone suddenly says something non-serious it throws me for a loop and is something I hate. I find it trivial, trivializing and a waste of time.



NEtikiman
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10 May 2015, 4:10 pm

I picked 2 because I love sex jokes.


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