Can person with Asperger's learn acceptable behaviors?

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Michjo
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24 Jun 2009, 5:51 am

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firstly, he's successful but what at please specify because most autistics are mainly successful for what they enjoy for example a knitting shop or a network manager, computer specialist.

He's not autistic because the original poster did not state what his brothers career path was? I'm failing to see the logic, could you explain that to me?

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secondly, he only is friends with people who benefit his gains. Most aspies are friends with anyone especially those with the same interests however this can turn to disaster when we become wrapped up in our interests.

Actually, many people on the spectrum have empathy and theory of mind issues. Many of us are self-centered, many aspies are misdiagnosed with NPD and aspies in general are compared with narcissists.

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Also most aspies have a high sense of moral most of us find this disgusting I do personally it is wrong and no one deserves it. I have been in the situation before and it is not nice at all.

You used the word most not all, perhaps his brother is in the group that does not have a high sense of morals? Plus, i have not seen anything in the original post that suggests his brother has a bad set of morals. His brother might not have the capacity to care, that doesn't make him bad, and you certainly shouldn't be judging him.

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thirdly charming people, most aspies are very blunt, being able to charm people means being able to play and determine them I and most certainly cannot do it because we are socially backward and inverted

His brother is nearly 60, he's had a long time to learn to charm people. Plus, if one controls the conversation, they do not need to rely on the instictive facial expressions and rules that aspies lack. They can merely use what is tried and tested.

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this is clearly a misdiagnosis for sure these are dominant traits and an asie having the 2 and 3 is against our code, it does not work and is a contradiction

Which diagnostic criteria are you using?

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your brother just sounds like a narcisistic a hole to me who only cares for his own self worth you see he cares nothing for the child because it grants him nothing in benefit well financially and mentally.

I was happy to suggest his brother was a narcissist and even then i meant "narcissistic traits", i certainly wasn't intending to suggest NPD. Honestly though, suggesting he is an A-hole? How do you expect someone with ToM issues and maldeveloped empathy to act towards his child?

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wow NT are really dumb sometimes this was written right infont of you and you did not realise it its pretty black and write, and I love black and write, plus I have a rather large interest in psychology and my knowledge of the subject is quite superior especially in cognitive so take t from someone who knows the subject

The original poster came here to ask for our suggestions, not for people to imply that he is dumb. Also, it's not black and white that his brother does not have aspergers, there is also nothing that negates someone having brother aspergers and NPD. I do not doubt that you have an interest in psychology, but it appears that your interests are either not broad enough or you are not applying your knowledge in said area effectively.



pschristmas
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24 Jun 2009, 9:51 am

The OP may also be misinterpreting his/ her brother's interactions with the people he's supposedly "charming." It may simply be that when he's in a comfortable situation among people who share his interests his brother is a likeable person. This is simply when he's at his best. How many of us can relate to that?

I would like to reiterate that we do not know this man, only one person's inherently faulty vision of him.

Regards,

Patricia



WoodenNickel
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24 Jun 2009, 5:49 pm

I have learned acceptable behaviors. A very attractive and horny, not too mention socially very intelligent, women helped! :lol:


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"Asperge" is French for "asparagus". Therefore, I think I'm asparagus.


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28 Apr 2011, 1:59 pm

Katie_WPG wrote:
Yeah...

It doesn't sound like AS.

-He's very successful (not saying that people with AS can't be...but typically in idea oriented, technical fields. Networking based fields...not so much)

-He only shows interest in people when he can benefit (people with AS show interest in people they find interesting or friendly, not necessarily those they can use)

-He is good at charm and manipulation (people with AS typically aren't)

The reason why this may be is because many people (even psychologists) misunderstand the meaning of the word "empathy". Therefore, they are ready to diagnose any self-centered, manipulative person with AS when in reality, their behaviours are more in line with Narcissistic PD or Sociopathy.



I first got to reading about Asperger's because I thought my exboyfriend had it...and I think I still do. Looking back at our relationship and random comments thought I wonder if Narcissistic PD or Sociopathy would be more fitting. He seems to get caught up in contradictions and seemed a little bit manipulative (great combo with my naivete). I gave him a Barnes and Noble gift card and one of the books he bought was Machiavelli's The Prince (he had read it years ago) he wanted to apply it to his personal life. He also once mentioned how he almost married for money. My dad told me he was slumming when was dating me (I felt hurt and mad at my dad, but now I wonder if he was just hoping to find someone he could control). When I had doubts about us, one of his comments was, "Are you afraid of leaving your family behind?" He is well off, my family, not so much....ugh, I thought we could relate, but the more I think about anything he ever said the more I think he was just trying to manipulate me.

I think you're right, maybe he (my ex, not the original poster's brother) may not be an Aspie after all, but I knew something wasn't right...I need to try and move on. I first read about Sociopathy because of a previous boyfriend... they really make me miss my first few boyfriends that just wanted what a lot of guys "just want"- and I thought I was being taken advantage of then, ha! ...

This should probably now be in a relationship topic...

Thanks to anyone who reads or responds...sorry if it seemed like I hijacked the discussion, but I think it is all related.



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28 Apr 2011, 2:01 pm

I should start looking at the dates of posts...I think I'm talking with myself, lol