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Irisrises
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07 Feb 2010, 8:18 am

Yes.

I dreamt about him on Friday: he gave me a box of tomatoes and I pointed out that one of them was mouldy, which was a bit awkward, but he didn't get flustered, he put his hand out next to the box for me to understand that he was offering it (his hand) to me. I understood that, and I caressed it. He was very relieved when he understood that I understood what was happening and then he put his arms out and I walked into his embrace.

It doesn't sound like much, but I was in a good mood all day Saturday because of that dream and the way it felt.



Spatulas
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08 Feb 2010, 2:46 pm

Quote:
Yes.

I dreamt about him on Friday: he gave me a box of tomatoes and I pointed out that one of them was mouldy, which was a bit awkward, but he didn't get flustered, he put his hand out next to the box for me to understand that he was offering it (his hand) to me. I understood that, and I caressed it. He was very relieved when he understood that I understood what was happening and then he put his arms out and I walked into his embrace.

It doesn't sound like much, but I was in a good mood all day Saturday because of that dream and the way it felt.


Aww, that's lovely in a weird way ^^. I dream about the person I miss everytime I manage to get some sleep. Sometimes it helps and you will have a good next day. Sometimes it can cause me to want to end it all the next day. Love is a b***h.



Ray_Carver
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08 Feb 2010, 6:24 pm

i am like that with people too. i have a very small core group of people i care about, and if i don't hear from one of them for a few days, i freak out. i have had people i loved and cared about abandon me, telling me i am freak or that i am crazy, and i have deep-seated abandonment issues from when my great grandma died. i have gotten better as of late, just through having to deal with a good friend who doesn't always respond to phone calls and text messages as promptly as i would like, but until even as recently as last month, if i was texting or i.m.ing someone and it took them more than five minutes to respond, i would get really anxious, thinking they were tired of dealing with me or that they didn't want anything to do with me anymore. if it took more than ten minutes, i would usually be trying not to cry by that point, convinced that the person absolutely hated me and wanted nothing to do with me ever again.
my obsession with people i connect with also shows itself in other ways that i have had people comment on, as well. i will stare at them, and i am hyper aware of where they are. i can always sort of... sense, is the best word i guess... when someone i am close to enters a room i am in, or gets close. when i am in a relationship with someone, or i am simply in love with someone, it intensifies. i always want to be in constant contact with the person, from holding their hand, to sitting in their lap, to cuddling... my first girlfriend used to refuse to hold my hand when we were out in public together, and it tore my heart to pieces every time. in a more recent relationship, i also realized that i love to watch my partner sleep. i can't explain it, but in my last relationship, my favorite thing to do was to watch him sleep.



nightseekr
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24 Nov 2010, 9:59 pm

I had been searching the internet for a few days, and I now came across this forum. I have this issue as well, and sometimes I find it really hard to overcome it. I'm a dude, I am 23 years old, and yes i get attached to my friends real easily. This has been happening to this level for about 2 years now, as it wasn't always this intense. Whenever I make really good friends, and I find a real strong connection, I get attached pretty fast. When I am away from them, and don't hear from them, it really does feel like something is missing. I try to contact them, but I almost don't want to because I am afraid that they'll think I'm obsessing (which I honestly don't think I am).

Throughout my childhood I went through a lot of very good friendships, and a lot of them disappeared because they either betrayed me, or I moved countries. I sometimes feel that is the main problem at hand. I have also been living at home all through college, mainly because it is free and I go to college... However, I feel a strong need to move the hell out of this place just for the privacy and independent factors... I am not sure if that has to do anything with it.

I really am looking for some help guys! i HATE feeling like this. I know its not normal too, I just need help in terms of how to control this issue... sometimes it becomes sophicating.

Thanks in advance! =)



Todesking
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25 Nov 2010, 12:22 am

What for? :?: I never really miss anyone. Once there gone I am already over it. Give me a month or two I will even forget what they look like.


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Last edited by Todesking on 25 Nov 2010, 12:32 am, edited 1 time in total.

menintights
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25 Nov 2010, 12:29 am

The only person I'm attached to is still five years old in my head.



ediself
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25 Nov 2010, 4:07 am

nightseekr wrote:
I had been searching the internet for a few days, and I now came across this forum. I have this issue as well, and sometimes I find it really hard to overcome it. I'm a dude, I am 23 years old, and yes i get attached to my friends real easily. This has been happening to this level for about 2 years now, as it wasn't always this intense. Whenever I make really good friends, and I find a real strong connection, I get attached pretty fast. When I am away from them, and don't hear from them, it really does feel like something is missing. I try to contact them, but I almost don't want to because I am afraid that they'll think I'm obsessing (which I honestly don't think I am).

Throughout my childhood I went through a lot of very good friendships, and a lot of them disappeared because they either betrayed me, or I moved countries. I sometimes feel that is the main problem at hand. I have also been living at home all through college, mainly because it is free and I go to college... However, I feel a strong need to move the hell out of this place just for the privacy and independent factors... I am not sure if that has to do anything with it.

I really am looking for some help guys! i HATE feeling like this. I know its not normal too, I just need help in terms of how to control this issue... sometimes it becomes sophicating.

Thanks in advance! =)


you have been searching the net for the issue you have with getting too attached to friends, i understand that, but i have to ask: are you aware of the fact that you landed on a forum for autistic people? :lol:
i wish i could help but if you are neurotypical, you are likely to find our solutions ( if we have any which i doubt ) may not apply to your case! welcome though :)



LeeAnderson
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25 Nov 2010, 4:21 am

I am very attached to my best friend. If she doesn't talk to me for a few days, all kinds of crazy worries zoom through my head. Like did she forget me? Does she hate me? Etc. But then when I talk to her again, everything seems perfect as always and I calm down. :)



ruveyn
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25 Nov 2010, 5:47 am

Tim_Tex wrote:
The "Do you miss friends and family?" thread has got me to thinking if anyone has deep attachments to people.

I get extremely attached to people if I feel I connect with them, to the point that if I go a day without hearing from them, I worry that they have abandoned me.


I do not have anxiety fits but I think often and deeply about how my dearest family members (spouse, children, grandchildren, extended family) are doing and if they are well.

When one gets down to ground level, these are the folks that make any difference in one's life.

ruveyn



CarolineVan
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11 Dec 2010, 6:13 pm

Hi everyone. I just joined this group and am really hoping to get some advice from anyone on how to help my 5 year old son with this problem.

He gets extremely attached to certain friends (two in particular). It's borderline obsessive. One is a little girl who lives across the street from us, we have playdates with her often. When he sees her car pull in, he has a full blown meltdown over the thought that he might not get to see her that minute. When he does see her, and we have a playdate, as the playdate comes to an end, he starts sobbing - and the meltdown begins again. He insists on walking her to her door (which she no longer likes) and at times she just shuts the door on him. He continues to say goodbye to her through the closed door, very sad. He talks about her non stop and often says (daily) "___ is my best friend. I don't want her to have any other friends. I don't want her to talk to her mother, her father, anyone but me". No matter how I try to explain to him she has other people in her life, he gets completely distraught over this idea. It's been going on for almost a year now with this little girl (and a boy at his school, but not as much). My question is, how can I help my son calm down and understand that he will be "ok" if she has other friends? I am so worried that his little heart is going to get so broken in life if he doesn't comprehend this concept. He is incredibly sweet and caring, he just goes overboard with some of his friends..and it scares them a bit. After reading some of the other blogs, it appears that he could be fearful that she won't be his friend anymore (which is actually a possibility), and that it could be some sort of abandomment type of a thing.

Well..thank you so much for even taking the time to read this post. I'd be extremely appreciative to anyone who could share some advice.



Craig28
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11 Dec 2010, 6:25 pm

Being a premature baby, I was split up from my mother the night I was born on December 4th 1981. She was devastated and I must have picked up on that as I was lying in the incubator.

Flash forward to now and I get deep attachments to certain people, especially to those that are genuine and super nice towards me.

Like CarolineVan's son, I too don't like saying goodbye to one of my female friends, although I am 29 and she is 41. The more time I spent with her on any particular day, the more I would feel depressed when she leaves. The less time I spent with her on any particular day, the less I would feel depressed.

My coping mechanism is to confide in certain people as well as filling my time doing my hobbies and other things. That helps, but I still have moments every now and again.



ediself
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11 Dec 2010, 6:28 pm

CarolineVan wrote:
Hi everyone. I just joined this group and am really hoping to get some advice from anyone on how to help my 5 year old son with this problem.

He gets extremely attached to certain friends (two in particular). It's borderline obsessive. One is a little girl who lives across the street from us, we have playdates with her often. When he sees her car pull in, he has a full blown meltdown over the thought that he might not get to see her that minute. When he does see her, and we have a playdate, as the playdate comes to an end, he starts sobbing - and the meltdown begins again. He insists on walking her to her door (which she no longer likes) and at times she just shuts the door on him. He continues to say goodbye to her through the closed door, very sad. He talks about her non stop and often says (daily) "___ is my best friend. I don't want her to have any other friends. I don't want her to talk to her mother, her father, anyone but me". No matter how I try to explain to him she has other people in her life, he gets completely distraught over this idea. It's been going on for almost a year now with this little girl (and a boy at his school, but not as much). My question is, how can I help my son calm down and understand that he will be "ok" if she has other friends? I am so worried that his little heart is going to get so broken in life if he doesn't comprehend this concept. He is incredibly sweet and caring, he just goes overboard with some of his friends..and it scares them a bit. After reading some of the other blogs, it appears that he could be fearful that she won't be his friend anymore (which is actually a possibility), and that it could be some sort of abandomment type of a thing.

Well..thank you so much for even taking the time to read this post. I'd be extremely appreciative to anyone who could share some advice.


i'm extremely puzzled lol...anything that i might say right now will sound offensive when it will only express my extreme puzzledness :D i know it's not a word.
you might want to ask this in the parenting forum...i'm a mother too but i wouldn't tell my son he will be ok when i don't know if he will, for what it's worth.



pensieve
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11 Dec 2010, 6:33 pm

I'm attached to someone that I miss very dearly. And no, it's no one in my family. At least I'll get to see him in January.


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Severus
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11 Dec 2010, 6:34 pm

I am attached to only a couple of people and they are immediate family. There were a few others too but they died before their time and I never actually 'replaced' them. That is, I never met anyone like them again.
Sometimes I might get interested in a person but mostly I get tired of them quickly, or, alternatuvely, I might become obsessed with them. The latter happens very rarely, thanks God.



wavefreak58
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11 Dec 2010, 6:53 pm

The only way I get attached to people us with a staple gun.


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CarolineVan
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11 Dec 2010, 10:48 pm

Thanks to all of you who responded to my post :-). I do find that when the play dates are shorter, my son deal's much better...and the goodbye's aren't as difficult for him. I'm going to try for shorter play dates and see if that makes a difference.

Another problem he struggles with is when anyone else tries to talk to this friend he becomes very angry and possessive, grabbing her hand and explaining that she is only his friend, not theirs. This drives not only her away, but the other kids too. When this happens, I've been explaining that if he continues to act like that, she might not want to be his friend anymore - and he needs to let her have other friends too - that's what good friends do. Anyway, so far this hasn't really made a difference to him but again, shortening the play dates like someone suggested could help the situation, at least for now. Thanks again to everyone...!