How to respond to playfully inappropriate comments?

Post Reply New Topic

That ought to work. And there's always the classic "you should be so lucky"

my responses:

"hmm...no thanks. maybe next time?"

"suit yourself. just let me know when you're finished."

I don't have any experience with this, but since it starts with you saying something sarcastic my guess would be that sarcasm to them might sound rude the same way vulgarity sounds rude to you. It could sound like a vague threat the same way vulgarity does. But that's just a guess,

I do know from my own experience that people saying vulgar things can be extremely draining or paradoxically it can be uplifting. I don't know how it happens because a transfer is a transfer but somehow the intention is transformed midair and what arrives at my end is a friendly pat. Vulgar statements can be very funny. But like I said, not always. There are very very fine lines, here and everywhere.

They're your friends, right? I'd have to agree with most of the advice. Just make fun of them back. Like, "F*** you", "Ok, but you're the bi**h", or "I didn't know you took it up the bum" crap like that.

This is what I usually do, because it works both with friends who are joking, and with people who are genuinely being mean. To a friend it sounds funny, and to someone trying to be hurtful, it makes them seem silly for saying it.

I learned this from my psychologist, who pointed out that younger people now say "F--- Off!" as an expression of disbelief or surprise when they hear something new. I was talking about my difficulty with my (Greek) mother-in-law saying "you are lying" as an equal expression of surprise.

I also had trouble with "close the door a little" being a polite form of "close the door" (like "close it in your own time"), because I actually did literally close it a little. I only understood "little" as a politeness when she asked me to "turn over the (vinyl) disk a little".

I thought that meant they wanted the door to be open just a crack but not actually fully closed...that'll be entry 4536 on the list of things I've been getting wrong all my life, then.

Oh god, is that what that means?
I still hadn't figured it out...
That does explain a lot though. People always tell me, "close the door a little bit" and so I close it just a little bit, usually leaving it half open. A couple minutes later they tell me to close to door, and I'm always confused as to why they changed their mind and now want it fully shut.

I remember this woman from California, when something went wrong or she'd get frustrated would say, "Well, F*** a Duck!"

It was kind of funny and it was her signiture. (but she really was upset, and not playing, and I learned to respect it. Just give her space, she's venting and verbalizing. I can continue with whatever I'm doing)