Why do adults laugh when a child says something intelligent?

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Aspie1
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16 May 2010, 12:22 am

Callista wrote:
The "cute" feeling you get when you see an infant or a young animal is an instinctive "protect the young" drive that we all have. I don't think it's so horrible to get that triggered when a little child is saying something intelligent--why wouldn't you want to protect a youngster like that? There's a sort of pleasant surprise about seeing a child do something you wouldn't normally expect he'd be able to do.

Even with the explanation, the "cute" thing still bothers me. Thinking that something a child does is "cute" essentially means that it's somehow "less than" or "not for real". So, when I was talking about how Neptune has 1500-mph winds (in a conversation with my older sister on a city bus), an elderly couple who overheard me burst into uproarious laughter. How's that "wanting to protect a smart child" if you're just laughing at him? All it did it is make me stop talking about astronomy in public when people were around. Heck, if a 7-year-old child told me about the benefits of 802.11n over 802.11g, I wouldn't think it's "cute". I'd either ask the child more questions to see how he learned it, or compliment him and leave it at that. Come to think of it, the 20-somethings I dealt with probably felt the same way, and therefore didn't laugh. (They probably had a "oh wow, he knows that stuff" reaction or didn't care, either of which was fine with me.)



katzefrau
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16 May 2010, 6:38 am

i don't have an answer to your question, but i agree it's patronizing.

i also don't like when adults "deliberately lose" when playing games with kids. another patronizing (and dishonest) act. but i've met children who don't seem to mind (or notice) this. they would rather win than play honestly. i hated it when i was a child.


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zer0netgain
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16 May 2010, 7:53 am

Deep inside, I'd like to think it's a nervous laugh as if they're in the presence of a child just like in Twilight Zone who could wish them into the corn field if he didn't approve of what they did.


FEAR MY BRAIN POWER! BWUAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!

In reality, maybe they think it's just cute. Maybe they were the kind of people who picked on the school nerd growing up and it's just a reflex to laugh at the smart kid.

Goodness, aren't you abnormal? Tee Hee Hee



Callista
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16 May 2010, 10:46 am

Aspie1 wrote:
Callista wrote:
The "cute" feeling you get when you see an infant or a young animal is an instinctive "protect the young" drive that we all have. I don't think it's so horrible to get that triggered when a little child is saying something intelligent--why wouldn't you want to protect a youngster like that? There's a sort of pleasant surprise about seeing a child do something you wouldn't normally expect he'd be able to do.

Even with the explanation, the "cute" thing still bothers me. Thinking that something a child does is "cute" essentially means that it's somehow "less than" or "not for real". So, when I was talking about how Neptune has 1500-mph winds (in a conversation with my older sister on a city bus), an elderly couple who overheard me burst into uproarious laughter. How's that "wanting to protect a smart child" if you're just laughing at him? All it did it is make me stop talking about astronomy in public when people were around. Heck, if a 7-year-old child told me about the benefits of 802.11n over 802.11g, I wouldn't think it's "cute". I'd either ask the child more questions to see how he learned it, or compliment him and leave it at that. Come to think of it, the 20-somethings I dealt with probably felt the same way, and therefore didn't laugh. (They probably had a "oh wow, he knows that stuff" reaction or didn't care, either of which was fine with me.)
...did you read my second paragraph? I did mention that there are multiple reasons people might laugh, and most likely, the elderly couple you are talking about were in the "this is an entertaining performing animal" category, not, "this is an interesting child I want to protect."


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Aspie1
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16 May 2010, 1:31 pm

Yes, I read your second paragraph, but did not find it to be of much comfort. As a kid, I simply could not fathom that someone laughing in response to me could mean anything positive, unless I was specifically trying to be funny. And my parents' "it's a laughter of approval" explanation was a contradiction in terms. Even to this day, I have to restrain myself not to get angry when someone laughs at something I did or said.

There was a handful of adults who reacted quite positively to my astronomy talks. They must have been the ones in whom I triggered the good kind of "cute" response. But you know what? They did not show even a trace of laughter, a smile at the maximum. On the other hand, the laughter might have been caused by my aspie traits, which were probably far worse when I was little. You know, the poor eye contact, monotone voice, stiff posture, poor social skills, etc. They probably antagonized those people to the core, and triggered the "oh, how cute" laughter in response.



Callista
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16 May 2010, 7:16 pm

Well, I guess it's just because that's often how I responded to my little sister when she was three or four, and learning about things. She was very, very cute--and it was wonderful to see her learn. I taught her her first math facts when she was about four, and I think we were both giggling in delight when she figured out--by herself--that multiplication meant adding things over and over.

And yeah, I'm pretty sure she's gifted. Scratch that--I'm pretty close to absolutely sure she is.


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