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SteelMaiden
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06 May 2015, 12:28 pm

I went to an appointment and my support worker took me there.

It was very stressful and the reception was noisy. I started rocking and had tears in my eyes.

After the appointment I ended up whacking my head against the wall repeatdly. My support worker let me punch his bag a few times to get the agitation out.

However when we got back to my house, I ended up hitting him several times. I just lost it and couldn't control the extreme agitation, cumulative sensory overload and confusion. He was alright with it and stayed with me at home for a bit.

However after he left I went nonverbal (and still am unable to speak) and ended up having this huge meltdown. I was screaming for almost half an hour. I grabbed a fork and repeatedly stabbed myself with it. I then ran into the living room and started rolling over the rug repeatedly (a stim of mine). Then I started making loud moaning hums.

My autism has amplified during this time of stress (exams + revision). Is that common?

I lose insight during meltdowns and I can't say "right I need to calm down and go and get my weighted blanket" etc. So I can be freaking out for 2-3 hours and my body is covered in self harm, even my face.

I am seeing my psychiatrist (with my support worker) and care coordinator on Friday. I want to ask for PRN haloperidol. Clonazepam calms me down but in the past haloperidol has reduced my challenging behaviour and self injury better.

What is your opinion.

I have exams on the 11th of May and 26th of May. I need to be well enough to do them.


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ASPartOfMe
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06 May 2015, 1:22 pm

Stress often makes Autistic "traits" more severe.


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kraftiekortie
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06 May 2015, 5:27 pm

Haldol (which is the trade name) seems to frequently have a sedative effect.

Good luck in the exam in five days--and, of course, in the other one in the farther future.



cavernio
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06 May 2015, 5:30 pm

Whatever traits I have I only notice when I am stressed.


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Matthaeus
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06 May 2015, 6:17 pm

I noticed I stim more when stressed out. When really anxious, I lie down on the bed and try not to think of anything.

Good luck with the examinations!



LillyDale
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06 May 2015, 9:13 pm

Was the reception room mostly the problem or that and the general stress of dealing with the entire set of activities?

I find hospital/clinic waiting rooms one of the worst things to deal with. The local clinic group insists on having something horrible on the TV sets in the waiting room and having it really loud. Like Fox New or one of those TV panel shows or judge shows where people are angry screaming at each other.

Add in some disruptive bad human behavior from other people and it is hard to tolerate.

If the conditions of the waiting room were a major contributor, maybe the social worker that went with you needs to talk to the clinic manager and explain to them that they are doing things that are hurting their patients.

I was stuck in a waiting room for hours while the hubby had surgery. It was so noisy and full of people doing stressful intrusive things that I was almost in tears and could not leave. You have to stay in that waiting room until the patient is done in surgery. I can't even imagine what kind of hell that would have been for someone with more intense sensory issues. 8O



BirdInFlight
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07 May 2015, 4:31 am

This sounds very distressing; I hope you get the care you need to get through the exams.

I do find, in my own case, that stress makes my issues/traits much worse. It's not that when things are going smoothly and I'm relatively calm that they are gone, they're never gone, but the dial gets turned down or up depending. My stims get worse, my ability to cope decreases, my executive functioning worsens under stress, all of it.



SteelMaiden
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07 May 2015, 4:39 am

Thank you all.

Stress does make it worse then. Exams = stress. Uni exams which require prolonged focus and memorisation of hundreds of pages = more stress.

I will ask my psychiatrist tomorrow. My support worker thinks I need my treatment reviewed and something done.

I'm scared of being involved with the police again. Yesterday I could have been arrested had I done the attacking my support worker where the clinic was. I feel remorse for what I did but my support worker said I am not the first person he supports to do it to him, and that he is totally fine. But I feel awful for doing it.

When I'm in the midst of a meltdown, I lose insight into what I am doing. Then when I realise what I've done, I sink into a depression.

I cannot get to the point where I am back in the secure unit. I've been several times as it is, with a criminal record on my name (and I feel remorse for that). It was hell there. A 16 stone man over six foot tall threatened to "beat the s**t out of" me last time I was there. I had to lock myself in my bedroom, shaking and screaming, and wait for the staff to deal with him. He ended up being moved to another secure unit.

I am struggling to control myself. I constantly feel like there are electric shocks going through my body.


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I am a partially verbal classic autistic. I am a pharmacology student with full time support.