Why do people assume you're guilty when you get upset?

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Mudboy
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29 Jun 2010, 1:29 pm

I have been assumed to be guilty simply because I got accused and was not able to "look innocent enough". No amount of logic or proof could change their minds.


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Ichinin
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29 Jun 2010, 1:36 pm

League_Girl wrote:
I heard that when you get upset when you get falsely accused, it means you did it. I don't even understand it because it sounds so stupid.

(...)

Does anyone else get upset when they get falsely accused?


Yes. Why do people do it? Well...a rational person would look for clues and deduct who is guilty from those clues. An idiot would assume that you are guilty because you become upset.

Conclusion: People (in general) are idiots.


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League_Girl
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29 Jun 2010, 1:57 pm

Ichinin wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
I heard that when you get upset when you get falsely accused, it means you did it. I don't even understand it because it sounds so stupid.

(...)

Does anyone else get upset when they get falsely accused?


Yes. Why do people do it? Well...a rational person would look for clues and deduct who is guilty from those clues. An idiot would assume that you are guilty because you become upset.

Conclusion: People (in general) are idiots.


How the heck would you look for clues and stuff? If I have no idea what is going on, how am I going to know what to look for? Are people really that psychic?



anbuend
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29 Jun 2010, 2:43 pm

Uh... I do a lot of those things like looking at the ceiling, suggesting people ask someone else, etc., when I'm telling the truth. They mean things like searching for words, or wanting badly to show proof so the person will get off my back. Whoever said those things show you're lying is full of it.


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CockneyRebel
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29 Jun 2010, 3:14 pm

I think that people think that way about me, because I get all jittery, when I'm upset.


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bee33
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29 Jun 2010, 4:23 pm

League_Girl wrote:
How the heck would you look for clues and stuff? If I have no idea what is going on, how am I going to know what to look for? Are people really that psychic?
I think Ichinin means that the accuser should look for clues instead of jumping to conclusions.

I too have found that people generally have no interest in facts, especially if they're bent on accusing someone, and if you're the accused pointing out facts to them only makes them angry.



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29 Jun 2010, 4:42 pm

I get very flustery/stressed when I get upset, and it's very similar to how normal people react when falsely accused. Hence whenever I get accused of something I always deal with the repercussions of whatever I was accused of, even though I didn't do anything wrong. I'm everyone's scapegoat when I'm emotionally charged... :(

In general I don't like how accusations stick to people with literally no evidence to show for it... one of my former male teacher's career was ruined based off of the fact he failed a girl (I knew her, she was a lying knievin' b*tch). Then she rounded up her friends and called rape! and now he's in jail and a sex offender. She even bragged to the school about the "power" she had. It was sick.



tomboy4good
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29 Jun 2010, 5:45 pm

I too have strong reactions when I'm falsely accused of doing something wrong/bad. It's been this way pretty much my whole life. So I guess next time someone wrong accuses me of something, I am supposed to admit to the offense? I wonder if I will be off the hook by simply agreeing with them? It would definitely make my life easier for sure, but then again, what if they then tell me I'm also guilty because I simply agreed with them? :shrug:

Btw, this makes no sense to me. I can't tell a successful lie, even if my life were to depend on it. That's where problems start, because I always tell the truth.


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bluelily3
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29 Jun 2010, 6:21 pm

Yep, happens to me all the time. My family knows I am just upset because I am being falsely accused, but strangers don't. That is one of my biggest pet peeves, because I hardly ever do anything bad, and it drives me NUTS when people think I'm wrong/bad.



liloleme
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29 Jun 2010, 6:29 pm

When I was little I had several teachers who didnt like me because I was weird and they would accuse me of lying because I would not make eye contact. Once I overheard my daughters boyfriend yelling that someone he was talking to was lying to him and he knew because he wouldnt make eye contact with him. Just goes to show its what people think. Its probably why I get so defensive when Im accused of things I didnt do.
My friend not long ago told me that I have got to be the most honest person she knows....that made me feel really good :) .



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30 Jun 2010, 12:59 am

Dilbert wrote:
I don't think so. Yes someone may accuse you, and continue accusing you when you get upset, but they are just playing along to get to the truth.

Nothing is more important to a falsely accused than saying "I didn't do it" over and over and they are often upset in the process.

People that say things such as "everyone knows I couldn't do this!" or "ask so and so they know me!" or "I didn't do it, he did!" or "I have no idea what you are talking about" they are lying. The police are trained to recognize this.

More signs of lying:

Looking down and to the side when making a false statement.

Looking up at the ceiling while recalling events (stall tactic while their brains are trying to invent a plausible explanation)

Brushing the face with both hands (same as above)

Shaky legs

Hands crossed over the chest (tense body language)

Those are just a few. There's lots more. :)


Mmm. I have to disagree. At least with your confidence that those are solid facts. The truth is, those are not even reliable indicators that someone is lying. Nervous people have nervous mannerisms all the time, especially if cornered and interrogated. People look up or away when inventing stories, sure. But they also just as often do it to recall real events. Aspies do it pretty much most of the time they are talking. Those phrases you said that people say when they're lying, I havesaid those when I was in fact telling the truth. There is no logical reason why a person who's telling the truth would specifically avoid saying anything like that. When I was a kid, I was once accused of drowning a baby duck just because someone remembered my interest in the ducks. My mom cornered me and asked me if it was true. I wasn't upset about the possibility of getting in trouble for something I didn't do. I was offended that my mom, who knew I was the type of kid who was always kind and gentle to all animals would even consider the possibility. Then upon seeing my hurt reaction, she pointed out that I must be guilty if I was so upset. So my saying " You know I would never do something like that" is perfectly reasonable. Sorry, but it's a bit of a pet peeve of mine when people hear, read about, or most likely watch on TV something about spotting a lie through gestures and wording alone. Lies are much easier to spot through their inconsistancies, which take a little more patience to deduce than making a rigid rule about whether or not someone scratched their eyebrow the right way.



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30 Jun 2010, 1:57 am

Pithlet wrote:
Dilbert wrote:
I don't think so. Yes someone may accuse you, and continue accusing you when you get upset, but they are just playing along to get to the truth.

Nothing is more important to a falsely accused than saying "I didn't do it" over and over and they are often upset in the process.

People that say things such as "everyone knows I couldn't do this!" or "ask so and so they know me!" or "I didn't do it, he did!" or "I have no idea what you are talking about" they are lying. The police are trained to recognize this.

More signs of lying:

Looking down and to the side when making a false statement.

Looking up at the ceiling while recalling events (stall tactic while their brains are trying to invent a plausible explanation)

Brushing the face with both hands (same as above)

Shaky legs

Hands crossed over the chest (tense body language)

Those are just a few. There's lots more. :)


Mmm. I have to disagree. At least with your confidence that those are solid facts. The truth is, those are not even reliable indicators that someone is lying. Nervous people have nervous mannerisms all the time, especially if cornered and interrogated. People look up or away when inventing stories, sure. But they also just as often do it to recall real events. Aspies do it pretty much most of the time they are talking. Those phrases you said that people say when they're lying, I havesaid those when I was in fact telling the truth. There is no logical reason why a person who's telling the truth would specifically avoid saying anything like that. When I was a kid, I was once accused of drowning a baby duck just because someone remembered my interest in the ducks. My mom cornered me and asked me if it was true. I wasn't upset about the possibility of getting in trouble for something I didn't do. I was offended that my mom, who knew I was the type of kid who was always kind and gentle to all animals would even consider the possibility. Then upon seeing my hurt reaction, she pointed out that I must be guilty if I was so upset. So my saying " You know I would never do something like that" is perfectly reasonable. Sorry, but it's a bit of a pet peeve of mine when people hear, read about, or most likely watch on TV something about spotting a lie through gestures and wording alone. Lies are much easier to spot through their inconsistancies, which take a little more patience to deduce than making a rigid rule about whether or not someone scratched their eyebrow the right way.


That's why I hate body language so much. It's not accurate and it creates misunderstandings and judgments I don't even bother learning about it. Heck even NTs read it wrong but we do it more often.

I don't ever rely on TV to learn patterns in body language for real life because it's all exaggerated and not accurate. It's pretty much the same but in real life, it's not like that.



opal
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30 Jun 2010, 4:20 am

Michael_Stuart wrote:
Dilbert wrote:
Looking up at the ceiling while recalling events (stall tactic while their brains are trying to invent a plausible explanation)


Well that's not good... I look at the ceiling all the time while recalling events.

so do i



anbuend
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30 Jun 2010, 10:17 am

Actually even inconsistencies aren't a solid indicator of lying. Absolute, total consistency is rare (and sometimes is the hallmark of a lie, because it's been rehearsed and the person tries to make it abnormally consistent thinking that will convince people it's true). Most things people communicate about are at least a little inconsistent, and often they are extremely inconsistent because the world is an extremely complex place and human memory and wording is changeable. There are some <em>kinds</em> of inconsistency that make lying a distinct possibility, but not all kinds, and extreme inconsistency can also be about being mistaken or confused.


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TiredGeek
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30 Jun 2010, 3:18 pm

Well that explains why I was always in trouble at school for something I didn't do. At home I had it easier as I was an only child, no question which kid did it!

But yeah, I get way more upset if falsely accused than if caught for something I actually did.

So how is one supposed to act, according to these law enforcement so-called experts? The only "correct" response is to keep repeating "I didn't do it!" - and NOT get very upset? :?



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30 Jun 2010, 11:53 pm

bee33 wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
How the heck would you look for clues and stuff? If I have no idea what is going on, how am I going to know what to look for? Are people really that psychic?

I think Ichinin means that the accuser should look for clues instead of jumping to conclusions.


Correct, hence the "People (in general) are idiots." statement that followed. I really despise people who THINK they are psychic and just blurts out things.

A rational person would look at the evidence and let it speak for itself. Like the great doctor said: "Everybody lies" (i.e. have their own agendas).


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