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swbluto
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23 Nov 2011, 6:13 pm

So, people like to avoid me on the bus and ONLY me. I don't know why, I'm guessing it's because I look or act like I have a mental illness or something. I speculated that it was a self-esteem thing, but I'm seriously not thinking any negative self-thoughts when I'm riding the bus and I scored rather highly on the self-esteem test. If I'm thinking of anything on the bus, I'm thinking of... "I can't wait to get off this bus.".

Also, yesterday, I was walking downtown into the bus plaza and I noticed security was looking at me pretty cautiously and then they emerged from their offices as if "to protect the area".

So far, the possibilities are...

1) I look aggressively dangerous like I'm going to kill someone
2) I look mentally ill
3) I have a really low self-esteem.

Coincidentally, on both occasions when I was targeted by security and actively avoided on the bus, I was wearing my awesome goretex military coat (Goretex is lovely when it comes to rain protection). It seems that the homeless wear military coats around my area, so maybe people think I look like a dangerous homeless person or something?

What do you guys think is most likely?



Last edited by swbluto on 23 Nov 2011, 6:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

purchase
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23 Nov 2011, 6:25 pm

Must have been the coat.



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OliveOilMom
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23 Nov 2011, 6:33 pm

If you don't talk to yourself, or stim, or have bad hygeine, or stare, or say off the wall things to other people then it's probably just low self esteem making you think they are treating you wierd.

Frances



bumble
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23 Nov 2011, 6:36 pm

people always avoid me. I figure I must smell. Have you checked your deodorant?



bumble
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23 Nov 2011, 6:36 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:
If you don't talk to yourself, or stim, or have bad hygeine, or stare, or say off the wall things to other people then it's probably just low self esteem making you think they are treating you wierd.

Frances


Ah I talk to myself, in my case that might be my problem!

If I had someone else to talk to, I might talk to them, but I don't so myself will have to do.



shyengineer
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23 Nov 2011, 6:40 pm

I have these same problems and thoughts too - the seat next to me on the bus is the last to be taken and I always get picked for 'random' security checks at airports and badgered by security at stores when I try to return stuff. It's probably because I'm young and male coupled with my body language - these are situations where I am fairly anxious already. I also notice these things more than others, so I think it's way more noticeable than it is.

The military jacket probably doesn't help - if you were wearing a business suit, would people still give you funny looks? Probably not so much to be honest. Otherwise, try put a positive spin on it, eg. I'm not squished next to someone on the bus and I'm warm and dry in my coat.

Your possibilities are exaggerated, you're not crazy; your body language probably gives off an odd vibe and you take more notice of it than the average person, at least I do.



1000Knives
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23 Nov 2011, 6:44 pm

I had the most problems in my life socially when I wore lots of military clothes. Now I try to wear military clothes the least amount possible, or if I do wear military stuff, I "clash" it with like, let's say I'm wearing camo pants, I'll wear a red Aeropostale tshirt too. Makes you look sorta kinda more normal.



OliveOilMom
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23 Nov 2011, 6:51 pm

1000Knives wrote:
I had the most problems in my life socially when I wore lots of military clothes. Now I try to wear military clothes the least amount possible, or if I do wear military stuff, I "clash" it with like, let's say I'm wearing camo pants, I'll wear a red Aeropostale tshirt too. Makes you look sorta kinda more normal.


Where I live, you could walk around in complete camo and people wouldn't think anything about it. I've seen baby camo before. Trucks painted camo. Camo hats, women and men in full camo dress in Wal Mart. Camo wallets and watchbands. Camo backpacks. Camo coolers. Everything. Hunting is big here, and that stuff is worn year round. So are survivalists. I don't own anything camo and I'm the odd one in town.

Frances



Burnbridge
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23 Nov 2011, 7:20 pm

swbluto, sometimes I scare the crap out of people on the street...I believe this is largely due to my "neutral" face looking like an "I am going to kill you" face, and my "concentrating" face (like when I'm riding bicycle) looks like an "I am really going to enjoy killing you" face. Add to this that I am wearing tattered, handmade, militaristic styled black and olive drab clothing, a batman toolbelt, and usually have a massive bike chain slung over my shoulder. Add to this that when walking, I tend to have tics (mini stims) in my hands, arms, shoulders and neck.

The yuppies are terrified of me, and the street folk and home bums all say hi and are super nice but never ask me for money. Which is great, because I don't have any.

So if you unwillingly display evil-face and wear camo, people are going to avoid you.

besides, in your profile pic, you look totally ready to pounce. :p


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Last edited by Burnbridge on 23 Nov 2011, 7:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

swbluto
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23 Nov 2011, 7:26 pm

Burnbridge wrote:
The yuppies are terrified of me, and the street folk and home bums all say hi and are super nice but never me for money. Which is great, because I don't have any.

So if you unwillingly display evil-face and wear camo, people are going to avoid you.


Some street folk were saying hi to me yesterday which I thought was unusual (They don't usually), so it's probably an evil face along with the camo that's doing the trick. Coincidentally, I was breaking some serious laws like jay walking and walking across the street when the Red Hand was showing, so I guess I'm a bit dangerous.


Quote:
besides, in your profile pic, you look totally ready to pounce. :p


But, I'm just an itty bitty kitty. Don't be afraid of an innocent fluffball. :lol:



Burnbridge
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23 Nov 2011, 7:30 pm

swbluto wrote:
Coincidentally, I was breaking some serious laws like jay walking and walking across the street when the Red Hand was showing, so I guess I'm a bit dangerous.


That made me laugh out loud. Thanks for the good cheer, bluto!


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1000Knives
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23 Nov 2011, 7:32 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:
1000Knives wrote:
I had the most problems in my life socially when I wore lots of military clothes. Now I try to wear military clothes the least amount possible, or if I do wear military stuff, I "clash" it with like, let's say I'm wearing camo pants, I'll wear a red Aeropostale tshirt too. Makes you look sorta kinda more normal.


Where I live, you could walk around in complete camo and people wouldn't think anything about it. I've seen baby camo before. Trucks painted camo. Camo hats, women and men in full camo dress in Wal Mart. Camo wallets and watchbands. Camo backpacks. Camo coolers. Everything. Hunting is big here, and that stuff is worn year round. So are survivalists. I don't own anything camo and I'm the odd one in town.

Frances


Unfortunately that doesn't fly in Connecticut. Especially the survivalism.



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23 Nov 2011, 8:07 pm

Have you tried wearing yellow and purple and thinking happy thoughts?



SilverTung
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23 Nov 2011, 8:26 pm

Burnbridge wrote:
swbluto, sometimes I scare the crap out of people on the street...I believe this is largely due to my "neutral" face looking like an "I am going to kill you" face, and my "concentrating" face (like when I'm riding bicycle) looks like an "I am really going to enjoy killing you" face. Add to this that I am wearing tattered, handmade, militaristic styled black and olive drab clothing, a batman toolbelt, and usually have a massive bike chain slung over my shoulder. Add to this that when walking, I tend to have tics (mini stims) in my hands, arms, shoulders and neck.

The yuppies are terrified of me, and the street folk and home bums all say hi and are super nice but never ask me for money. Which is great, because I don't have any.

So if you unwillingly display evil-face and wear camo, people are going to avoid you.

besides, in your profile pic, you look totally ready to pounce. :p


Hahaha. Batman tool belt. People in bustown are fun to terrify. The homeless people here are nice. When I stayed down by south high I gave em beer and cig money all the time. Campus kids are generally ass holes, but the townies out there are nice. We got a pretty decent art and music scene. I'm happy here.

OP. It's the low self esteem making you paranoid. It happens in large crowds. The paranoia often causes you to look in weird places and fidget a lot. It's nothing big. Just try to relax more. Get an mp3 player if you don't have one. Headphones can help to zone out and not give a s**t about what other people are doing.


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Apple_in_my_Eye
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23 Nov 2011, 9:46 pm

I vote that it's the jacket.

I used to have a black leather jacket (a tame one (it would probably be afraid of burnbridge's jacket)) and people would noticeably act nervous, and I'd always get asked for my ID when writing checks and such. I also noticed the same effect from facial hair.