Intentionally changing special interests?

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Greybird
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08 Nov 2010, 12:09 pm

I've always had a special interest, something that absorbs my free time and serves as the focus for my attention. In elementary school, it was plastic models. In junior high it was fly tying. For a while it was 19th century culture and lifestyle. For a while it was fantasy, RPGs, and then Star Trek. There have been a few others. Always, after a few years something else would come along, I'd forget all about the old obsession and live for the new one. It's always something complex that I can sink my brain into, my passion and my drive. It's almost always one thing at a time, and that one thing involves me fully. I invest in it, I spend my free time focused on it, and tend think about it or talk about it when I'm not involved in it.

Before I was diagnosed, I used to worry about it a lot. Family would constantly be on my back about 'do something else for a while'. Once I was diagnosed, did some research, and realized that it was a perfectly normal thing for me, I was a lot happier.

I'm going to be trying to go back to college in the next year or two, and there are some things that I really need to get done between now and then. There are some holes in my knowledge that I need to fill in before I go back, as they caused me problems last time. There are some changes in lifestyle that I need to make.

The problem is that my current interest (WoW) is a real time sink. Now, I know from past experience that if I just continue on, something else will come along that will draw my attention away, and the chances are that it will be less intense such that I'm able to pull away more easily. I can't wait for a year or two, though. I need to force myself to transit to a new, less time consuming interest. I can't seem to make that happen, though. I find myself distracted and irritable, thinking about it despite avoiding it. I've dabbled in some of my old passions, but nothing 'clicks'. I've looked around and tried to find something new, but nothing has drawn me in. It's unpleasant, and it's very stressful.

Any thoughts?



IdahoRose
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08 Nov 2010, 12:24 pm

If you want to find a new special interest, you need to try something that's outside of your comfort zone - something you wouldn't normally picture yourself getting into. That's how you discover new things to enjoy. It worked for me.



MollyTroubletail
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08 Nov 2010, 12:26 pm

Remember that WoW and similar games can become an actual serious addiction even for non-Aspie, non-obsessive, normal people. No easy fix; you may need to completely cancel your WoW accounts and delete all your characters and the entire game from your computer. Doing it is gruesome but sometimes the only way. A different interest will naturally come to you in the absence of your old one, though there may well be a period of irritability and depression.



RainingRoses
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08 Nov 2010, 2:08 pm

This is very likely not going to give you much hope, but just know that I've never been successful at "canceling" any of my special interests. They're in control of me -- and not the other way around. The only thing that I can say I've been able to affirmatively shut down was drinking, but that went way beyond a "special interest."


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FJP
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08 Nov 2010, 4:06 pm

IdahoRose wrote:
If you want to find a new special interest, you need to try something that's outside of your comfort zone - something you wouldn't normally picture yourself getting into. That's how you discover new things to enjoy. It worked for me.


This has worked for me also. Pick a few new things ( or have a friend pick some) and try them. Even if you don't like them it will still be an adventure.



robh
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08 Nov 2010, 6:26 pm

two options that have worked for me:

Dilibaratly embarass yourself.
(for creative interests) start a huge project and fail badly.



nthach
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08 Nov 2010, 6:46 pm

I've got some not-so-Aspie special interests, or rather hobbies I absolutely enjoy doing like snowboarding and cycling. I never did well in video games and I wanted to do things that other, ahem NTs do. I still have my Aspie interests though however - buses/pubic transit systems, computers, and collecting random knowledge but those I can do in front of a computer. I just never saw the fun or joy in playing video games even though I enjoy the occasional game of Pac-Man or Wolfenstein on my iPhone.

I want to get back into photography and I also want to get into scuba diving - which I'm sure I'll pick up rather fast.



MONKEY
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08 Nov 2010, 6:54 pm

I have more less obsessive interests I like to pursue and look up. But I don't deliberately choose my special interests they choose me, if I look for subjects to pick as a special interest it won't work because I won't be interested enough. I usually stumble across my obsessions and find myself hooked straight away. I do have more choice when it comes to minor/normal interests though.


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j0sh
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08 Nov 2010, 7:28 pm

Caution: some wow player lingo is in use. The OP will get it all... Sorry t people that don't... I'm trying to keep the reply short.

Hey Greybird,

My situation is very similar to yours. I want to give college a try, but I'm stuck in a routine that is basically only work and wow. It would be fantastic if I could just make myself interested in refreshing/relearning several things that would help for school and my current job. But, I haven't managed that yet. It's also complicated by the number of years I've been out of school (33yo now) and my educational past.

I was in multiple special education classes the first few years of school, then just special ed English until almost graduation. I graduated with a 3.5gpa but never really considered myself all that bright (cause I struggled so much harder at some things (now I know that most other people can see images in their mind... making some junk easier)). No giftedness was ever identified and AS wasn't an available label back then. Luckily, a followed interest (computers) lead to finding out I AM pretty good at some technical stuff.

So in the past two years I've: discovered AS, reanalyzed 31 years of personal data, self diagnosed, got diagnosed (kinda), made AS my special interest for about 1.5 years, found out the diagnosis was (kinda), got diagnosed (official) ... and now I'm back to playing wow in every available second of my time. If there is a time to set the direction of my life, it's now. But, I've just been working and playing wow. I actually made a BE Pally last night and was considering trying to get it to 80 before Cata in 3 weeks.

Anyways... I'm in the same place. One of the main arguments I have to quit wow is timing. I have 4 lvl 80's over 5800 gs (2 6k+). The next three weeks are a wash. No items obtained will matter soon. In three weeks the gates open. I know that getting 1 or more of my chars to 85 and getting geared will consume me for a very long time. The time to walk away is now.

I wish yah luck man. Please do the same for me. In the end, nothing we accomplish in that game will bring any substance to ourself or anyone else, for any sort of permanent duration. :x

Josh



aamj50
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08 Nov 2010, 8:27 pm

A big negatory for me on intentionaly changing interests. Either something grabs me or it doesn't. I'm always trying new things, which helps but there's never a guarantee that something will hook in and become my "thing" for some period of time. Just as often my unconscience brain sends something forward for me that I have never even dabbled in. A recent example is when I woke up recently and said to myself (and possibly out loud) "I need to get a slingshot!" So I took a couple of days to research, bought one and now am enjoying a new hobby.
Guess you just have to go with it! :D


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nthach
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08 Nov 2010, 8:34 pm

aamj50 wrote:
even dabbled in. A recent example is when I woke up recently and said to myself (and possibly out loud) "I need to get a slingshot!" So I took a couple of days to research, bought one and now am enjoying a new hobby.
Guess you just have to go with it! :D

Sounds like me too - I research what I want to get into and what I need to get. It took me 2 weeks to get a road bike which I love riding on, and a few days to decide which DSLR camera to get - I settled on a Canon EOS 50D. But I also balance up start-up costs vs. how much enjoyment I will get when it came to me getting into more capital-intensive interests.