lotusblossom wrote:
Since I was about 11, I have strongly wanted to die and wished I had never exisited. Ive tried to kill myself a few times. I ve found thinking about suicide a big burden in my life and felt very sad about not fitting in with life and not being able to do life.
However over the last month Ive actually felt pretty great, despite having quite a lot of bad life problems (relationship break up, probs with profesionals and probs with my kids). I read a confidence hypnotism book and cd and a healthy eating one by the same author (marisa peer) and its really lifted my spirits. When things have gone wrong for me socially Ive not felt so bad as I did before and feel much more resilient and generally happy. Ive been exercising a lot and it leaves me feeling buzzed and joyful where as before I felt exhausted after exercise. Its the first time I can remember that Ive not felt the need to binge or smoke to deal with my problems and feel relaxed and light.
I feel now that I want to live and get every inch of life even if there is suffering, I want to eperience it and have life.
very odd eh.
That book sounds interesting, thanks for sharing that information Lotus.
IdahoRose wrote:
I've had some pretty low points in the past where I've contemplated and even attempted suicide. They were due to mental illness without medication (or skipping doses of medication) and unfavorable living situations.
However, I'm at a very good point in my life right now and I'm highly contented and happy. My mom calls periods of time where nothing bad happens a "season of rest". Right now my family and I are having a "season of rest" and I hope that it will last for at least another couple of years.
That's a beautiful way to describe it.
You both are wonderful good people and I'm happy you are still here with us.
I have never wished I wasn't born, but I have wished I wasn't born to my family. I would be lying if I said, I have never considered suicide. I have decided if I am ever in a situation where the physical or emotional pain was so severe and I had nothing to stop it, I will then try to kill myself instead of suffering.
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Whatever you think you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, magic and power in it. ~Goethe
Your Aspie score: 167 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 35 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie.