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flamingshorts
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25 Jun 2009, 5:18 am

He had a ritual of handing out packages every year. Kept meticulous lists of children. That would raise eyebrows these days. Lived in an isolated shack. Had an unkempt beard and wore strange clothes (think 70s disco gone wrong). He was kind of like the Unabomer in a lot of ways. Not many know but he was obsessed about Star Wars when he was a kid and wouldnt shut up about it.

I feel so naughty posting this but Im blaming Asperger's for the obsessive behaviour. :)



Last edited by flamingshorts on 25 Jun 2009, 5:55 am, edited 3 times in total.

pensieve
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25 Jun 2009, 5:22 am

I'll nominate this for best thread of all time.

Oh I agree - he also wore the same outfit all the time. And doing the same thing at the same time every year.
Why has no one reached this conclusion before?


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AnnePande
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25 Jun 2009, 6:44 am

Funny and interesting question. :)

But then again: NTs also hand packages out every year at the same time, at Christmas. They always celebrate birthdays at the same time of the year. They all watch the clock ringing 12 at midnight every New Year's Eve.

So I don't think that's particularly aspie-like.

And who knows if he really wears the same clothes all the time, or if it's only on Christmas night when he appears? Maybe he wears something else at home?

And is he all alone? He's got his helpers, right?



LolaGranola
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25 Jun 2009, 9:43 am

Ha!


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25 Jun 2009, 9:51 am

Maybe he is... He certainly has a restrictive diet that seems to consist of milk and cookies, and an odd laugh. Also, lack of social boundaries by letting himself into stranger's homes while they're sleeping.



Danielismyname
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25 Jun 2009, 9:54 am

Man, I have to say it....

Yes, as like AS, he doesn't exist.



flamingshorts
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25 Jun 2009, 10:08 am

Thanks pensieve.

serenity wrote:
Maybe he is... He certainly has a restrictive diet that seems to consist of milk and cookies, and an odd laugh. Also, lack of social boundaries by letting himself into stranger's homes while they're sleeping.


Well spotted, surprising more people aren't concerned about some of his traits.



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25 Jun 2009, 10:16 am

I'll nominate this for funniest 'do you think soandso has AS?' thread of all time.

Prossibly. But aren't Aspies concerned with personal space more? Then why would he let kids on his lap?



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25 Jun 2009, 10:17 am

Magneto wrote:
Then why would he let kids on his lap?


Maybe pressure on the lap is strong positive stimulus for him.



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25 Jun 2009, 10:25 am

NO not again please first hitler then jack the ripper now santa



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25 Jun 2009, 10:27 am

I am laughing by the way just at the fact santa kind of breaks and enters but gives gifts and is psychic as he knows whether people are naughty and nice and he ha the hitlist of upsetting



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25 Jun 2009, 11:17 am

Santa Claus:An Engineers Perspective

I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18 ) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per house hold, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each.

II. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second --- 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

III. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them--- Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

IV. 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance --- this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake.

The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accellerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to centrifugal forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.



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25 Jun 2009, 11:23 am

Nope, Santa Clausa exists to give, Aspies give almost nothing.



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25 Jun 2009, 11:23 am

Danielismyname wrote:
Man, I have to say it....

Yes, as like AS, he doesn't exist.
You're going to have to elaborate on that one... the technical aspects of diagnosis? AS is better defined by some other label? better defined under the larger heading of autism? Actually, y'know... make a new thread; I like discussing diagnostic minutiae.

Oh, yeah, and Santa is definitely an Aspie. Unfortunately, he's not one I could get along with, as he seems to depend way too much on the socioeconomic status of the children and not nearly enough on their "good" or "bad" natures. :P

AS or non-AS status of fictional character debate = Fun!

Oh, yes:

The Physics of Santa Claus: The Rebuttal...
http://www.inflection-point.com/jokes/122.htm

Any nerds who haven't read the aforementioned classic jokes really need to (virtually) get out more!


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25 Jun 2009, 11:38 am

The rebuttal was funny...

and as for the engineer's perspective:

That's why Santa uses magic! 8) :santa: :rendeer:

(the engineer obviously didn't count with that :lol: ).



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25 Jun 2009, 11:41 am

Dilbert wrote:
Santa Claus:An Engineers Perspective

I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18 ) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per house hold, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each.

II. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second --- 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

III. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them--- Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

IV. 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance --- this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake.

The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accellerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to centrifugal forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.


Gift of the Magi(c) topic

I always thought Santa was above all the laws of physics, including general/special relativity, Newtonian, and quantum. Looks like he has feet of clay. :lol:

Good analysis. I am convinced.


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