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Jamesy
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02 Mar 2011, 11:30 am

I have got a bit more than just 'mild' aspergers its more typical AS. I find things a lot harder than other people but do you think i will be able to make a good life for myself and not have to live at home or in a care home for the rest of my life?

My parents have brought me my own flat but its currently being rented by some other people and i am not sure i completely capable of being independant.



Metalwolf
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02 Mar 2011, 11:56 am

You should be quite capable, I shouldn't see why not.
It looks intimidating at first until you actually get into one, and mostly it's just remembering to pay the rent and utilities and keeping house.

Other then that, unless you make an inordinate amount of noise that disturbs the other tenents or tend to be so untidy that you create a pest problem, you pretty much are left alone. 8)


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02 Mar 2011, 11:59 am

Jamesy wrote:
I have got a bit more than just 'mild' aspergers its more typical AS. I find things a lot harder than other people but do you think i will be able to make a good life for myself and not have to live at home or in a care home for the rest of my life?

My parents have brought me my own flat but its currently being rented by some other people and i am not sure i completely capable of being independant.


Hi this is my first post. I have mild aspergers but six years or seven years ago I would of said the same thing. I used to feel funny in the morning but thought it was part of my epilepsy when I was living at home. I went to see my GP who is lovely & she said I should have a pacemaker which I larghed at the time & it has completly change the way I think & view things. I got my own flat, made new friends although I am still single.
Life could be better but then again it could be a hell of a lot worse.

I know this must not be very comforting but what I am trying to say is hang on in there. If you can join a club or something you never really know.



Jamesy
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02 Mar 2011, 12:11 pm

Small things though are big things to me. so a lot of people don't have the same issues as me.



emlion
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02 Mar 2011, 12:46 pm

i find the small things more difficult than the big things.
maybe try it and then if you don't like it you can move back?
living independantly isn't too bad.



Jamesy
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02 Mar 2011, 1:15 pm

emilion have you considered living in an apartment with your close friends? I could do that maybe if my friends (or what is left of them) rent out an apartment.



emlion
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02 Mar 2011, 2:25 pm

i live with my boyfriend.

it's nice to live with someone you trust.



Kiran
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02 Mar 2011, 2:30 pm

I've been living on my own for over a year. It's not a big deal as long as you don't disturb the neighbors and remember to pay the rent.


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Jamesy
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02 Mar 2011, 2:52 pm

emilon do you find he works for you and pays the bills or do you do all the work?



emlion
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02 Mar 2011, 2:53 pm

he works full time, i work part time - so he pays the majority but i do all the housework - so we're pretty evenly split overall.
he used to pay it all when i wasn't so on my feet but now that things have evened out for me, we're pretty equal partners.



tasbro
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02 Mar 2011, 4:29 pm

I'm back living with my mother again due to financial reasons, but I actually found it surprisingly easy to get used to independent living when I first had an apartment. Now that I have been living back here for a while though I find it very hard to become independent again. I think that sometimes you just need to throw yourself into uncomfortable situations like that, and learn to get used to them.



AnnaBuhl
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02 Mar 2011, 5:26 pm

I quote from the book "Asperger syndrome and Anxiety, a guide to successful stress management, by Nick Dubin:

Quote:
2. Impaired autonomy and performance/ I cannot function adequately in the world
Dependence/ incompetence
This early maladaptive schema/ negative core belief forms when a person doesn't believe she can handle the responsibilities of being an adult. The anxiety that can develop from this EMS is the person may believe she is helpless in the world and cannot take care of herself. For the person with Asperger's, this belief might have formed as a reaction to the overwhelming nature of daily life...

These feelings are quite normal for people with Asperger’s, though not everyone has them. I also have these emotions and they can be quite bothersome sometimes. Currently I’m doing some self-therapy while also going to a proper therapist to help with my problems. I recommend reading the book as it is written specifically to people with Asperger’s and contains “exercises” to help change your negative way of thinking.
If you are heavily affected by your thoughts and don’t dare to just leap into moving out I recommend that you do something about it.
Besides the book, cognitive-behavioral therapy and schema therapy should be helpful.



patiz
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02 Mar 2011, 7:33 pm

Go for it! I have typical aspie symptoms (dx) and I live independently, its good for your social skills because you have to talk to people to pay bills and go to supermarkets to buy food. Try it for a while, 3 months say, see how you get on.