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justjelliot
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06 Jul 2011, 11:09 pm

First of all, I am not a violent person and am not referring to actually killing people.

When I was in high school, my basketball coach always told me I lacked killer instinct. What he meant was that I put the well-being of teammates and opponents before my own, or in some cases, my team's. For instance, one practice had a scrimmage, and the point guard, who was like 5'10" (177.8 cm) and 130 pounds (58.9 kg), dive for the ball in front of me. I was 6'2" (188 cm), 200 pounds (90.7 kg), although the coach liked to say 6'4" (193 cm) to exaggerate it. Anyways, I jumped over him to get to the ball, as opposed to stepping on him. The coach stopped the play, and said 'justjelliot, the point guard is not the enemy, but he is the opponent. If he dives in front of you, that should not stop you from getting to the ball as fast as possible, or make it harder for you to do so. If he dives in front of you, he knows he is risking being stepped on, and I imagine he would live. You need to develop the killer instinct justjelliot, and stop being so nice and friendly to everyone on the court.'

There were many other times like the one above where I took less direct routes to the ball because I didn't want to injure people. That same point guard was known for extremely hard fouls and hard play, and he tended to be the smallest guy on the court. He was notorious for looking like a walking scab for all the hits he took. He had more killer instinct than anyone the coach ever met.

Similar situations are fights. Locker rooms, maybe bars, etc. I never looked to 'destroy' whoever I was fighting. I more or less 'traded' punches, aiming for chest or shoulders, not wanting to really harm the person, just not be a coward.

Of course, whenever I did react with killer instinct, or what I thought it was, I went overboard. I either really hurt the opponent I was fighting, where people would gasp and say 'justjelliot, you took it too far' or would foul way too hard and get intentional fouls called. I didn't understand how to develop this killer instinct without going too far, and I'm still not sure.

Can anyone relate? Is this an Aspie thing, or a I just weird?


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CaptainTrips222
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06 Jul 2011, 11:22 pm

justjelliot wrote:
Of course, whenever I did react with killer instinct, or what I thought it was, I went overboard. I either really hurt the opponent I was fighting, where people would gasp and say 'justjelliot, you took it too far' or would foul way too hard and get intentional fouls called. I didn't understand how to develop this killer instinct without going too far, and I'm still not sure.

Can anyone relate? Is this an Aspie thing, or a I just weird?


I think I sort of can, maybe a little. For one thing you described how you handled fist fights- I found in physical confrontations, I never enjoyed the feeling of hitting another person. The feel of knuckle impacting on someone else's face always was just vile to me. I never liked the feeling of swinging to seriously hurt, even though I had to. After all was said and done, I didn't feel satisfied, just wrong.

As for your experience on the court, I can't say why coach figures encourage you to take control of the situation, then react with chagrin when you do. I'd have to see it for myself. I suspect, though, it has more to do with how you do it, then the action itself. You might tell yourself, "Alright, no holding back, get your game face on." and it somehow comes across as more aggressive and focused than you intended, when all you were trying to do was show conviction. An intensity in your demeanor, maybe? I don't know, I'd have to see what you're doing exactly.



Tamsin
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06 Jul 2011, 11:28 pm

When I was younger my coaches would get mad at me because, when we were playing soccer, if the ball went off the field I would always go and get it, even if it was the other teams throw-in. I didn't understand why they were getting mad at me for being nice.



justjelliot
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07 Jul 2011, 3:25 pm

CaptainTrips222 wrote:
justjelliot wrote:
Of course, whenever I did react with killer instinct, or what I thought it was, I went overboard. I either really hurt the opponent I was fighting, where people would gasp and say 'justjelliot, you took it too far' or would foul way too hard and get intentional fouls called. I didn't understand how to develop this killer instinct without going too far, and I'm still not sure.

Can anyone relate? Is this an Aspie thing, or a I just weird?


I think I sort of can, maybe a little. For one thing you described how you handled fist fights- I found in physical confrontations, I never enjoyed the feeling of hitting another person. The feel of knuckle impacting on someone else's face always was just vile to me. I never liked the feeling of swinging to seriously hurt, even though I had to. After all was said and done, I didn't feel satisfied, just wrong.

As for your experience on the court, I can't say why coach figures encourage you to take control of the situation, then react with chagrin when you do. I'd have to see it for myself. I suspect, though, it has more to do with how you do it, then the action itself. You might tell yourself, "Alright, no holding back, get your game face on." and it somehow comes across as more aggressive and focused than you intended, when all you were trying to do was show conviction. An intensity in your demeanor, maybe? I don't know, I'd have to see what you're doing exactly.


Oh, I see what you mean. Ok, he was telling me that the guy wasn't the enemy, but was the opponent, so what he meant was that I was right to not try to kill him, but wrong to not play more aggressively to the opponent, in that case, allowing him to slow me down by moving over or around him, rather than moving through him or stepping on him. He was upset that I was being too gentle and not more physical. I could see how the phrasing was off, do you understand what I mean now?


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SyphonFilter
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07 Jul 2011, 4:03 pm

No, I'm pretty good at it. Beat both the SNES and N64 versions on Master difficulty. :cheers:



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07 Jul 2011, 8:30 pm

justjelliot wrote:
CaptainTrips222 wrote:
justjelliot wrote:
Of course, whenever I did react with killer instinct, or what I thought it was, I went overboard. I either really hurt the opponent I was fighting, where people would gasp and say 'justjelliot, you took it too far' or would foul way too hard and get intentional fouls called. I didn't understand how to develop this killer instinct without going too far, and I'm still not sure.

Can anyone relate? Is this an Aspie thing, or a I just weird?


I think I sort of can, maybe a little. For one thing you described how you handled fist fights- I found in physical confrontations, I never enjoyed the feeling of hitting another person. The feel of knuckle impacting on someone else's face always was just vile to me. I never liked the feeling of swinging to seriously hurt, even though I had to. After all was said and done, I didn't feel satisfied, just wrong.

As for your experience on the court, I can't say why coach figures encourage you to take control of the situation, then react with chagrin when you do. I'd have to see it for myself. I suspect, though, it has more to do with how you do it, then the action itself. You might tell yourself, "Alright, no holding back, get your game face on." and it somehow comes across as more aggressive and focused than you intended, when all you were trying to do was show conviction. An intensity in your demeanor, maybe? I don't know, I'd have to see what you're doing exactly.


Oh, I see what you mean. Ok, he was telling me that the guy wasn't the enemy, but was the opponent, so what he meant was that I was right to not try to kill him, but wrong to not play more aggressively to the opponent, in that case, allowing him to slow me down by moving over or around him, rather than moving through him or stepping on him. He was upset that I was being too gentle and not more physical. I could see how the phrasing was off, do you understand what I mean now?


I thought I understood what you meant the first time. They accuse you of holding back, or playing a little too courteously, then when you try to step it up, people say you over shoot it, but you feel you're just asserting your position. Am I still misunderstanding you?



justjelliot
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07 Jul 2011, 9:00 pm

CaptainTrips222 wrote:
justjelliot wrote:
CaptainTrips222 wrote:
justjelliot wrote:
Of course, whenever I did react with killer instinct, or what I thought it was, I went overboard. I either really hurt the opponent I was fighting, where people would gasp and say 'justjelliot, you took it too far' or would foul way too hard and get intentional fouls called. I didn't understand how to develop this killer instinct without going too far, and I'm still not sure.

Can anyone relate? Is this an Aspie thing, or a I just weird?


I think I sort of can, maybe a little. For one thing you described how you handled fist fights- I found in physical confrontations, I never enjoyed the feeling of hitting another person. The feel of knuckle impacting on someone else's face always was just vile to me. I never liked the feeling of swinging to seriously hurt, even though I had to. After all was said and done, I didn't feel satisfied, just wrong.

As for your experience on the court, I can't say why coach figures encourage you to take control of the situation, then react with chagrin when you do. I'd have to see it for myself. I suspect, though, it has more to do with how you do it, then the action itself. You might tell yourself, "Alright, no holding back, get your game face on." and it somehow comes across as more aggressive and focused than you intended, when all you were trying to do was show conviction. An intensity in your demeanor, maybe? I don't know, I'd have to see what you're doing exactly.


Oh, I see what you mean. Ok, he was telling me that the guy wasn't the enemy, but was the opponent, so what he meant was that I was right to not try to kill him, but wrong to not play more aggressively to the opponent, in that case, allowing him to slow me down by moving over or around him, rather than moving through him or stepping on him. He was upset that I was being too gentle and not more physical. I could see how the phrasing was off, do you understand what I mean now?


I thought I understood what you meant the first time. They accuse you of holding back, or playing a little too courteously, then when you try to step it up, people say you over shoot it, but you feel you're just asserting your position. Am I still misunderstanding you?


No, that's it. You got it the first time, my bad.


_________________
When you know you don't have all the answers, you begin to ask the right questions.
-Dr. Erik Selvig, Thor

http://aspiespy.blogspot.com/