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Joe90
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16 Jun 2011, 9:56 am

I don't like small children sitting behind me in the cinema because they tend to keep kicking my seat, which makes me VERY ANGRY because the annoying, repetitive kicking on the back of my seat can't be ignored. f*****g kids!! !

But otherwise, I don't mind people sitting behind me, as long as they keep still.


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b9
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16 Jun 2011, 10:04 am

Quote:
Feeling stares and people behind you


whenever i suddenly stop and turn on my heel and interrogate the people behind me as to whether they were watching me while i was not looking, i usually receive a hostile response, so i refrain from doing that and so i am mostly blissfully unaware of what is happening in other people's worlds because there is no alternative but to ignore it.



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16 Jun 2011, 11:11 pm

SilverSolace wrote:
Does it bother you when someone is looking at you or in your direction, even when you do not have to look at them? Can you "feel" it when someone is staring at you, even if you do not initially see them doing it?
Does it bother you when there are people sitting or standing behind you? Can you "feel" it when they are there?

I absolutely cannot tolerate people staring at me/in my direction or standing behind me. It causes me physical discomfort, especially when I am trying to focus on a task or am eating a meal. Like, I feel a shiver go up my spine, or an unpleasant tingly sensation plus the tension of stress. I want to stim when I feel the discomfort, but if someone is looking at me, or if they are behind me and I do not know where they are looking, I feel that stimming like I want to would draw attention to myself; the exact thing I am trying to avoid.
In a classroom or restaurant I always try to choose a seating area that leaves me no open blind spots. I sit against a wall or area where no one can see me and/or where I can see everyone and no one is behind me.

Is this just my own paranoia/quirkiness/etc or do other people with AS experience this?
Cause it feels like it would go under the category of needing control over my environment, of things being out of my control and knowledge. (I don't know what people are doing if they are behind me, I just feel them there. I don't know why someone is looking at me or in my direction, I just know they are. I don't like that. I would like to know everything that is going on around me; if I don't, I feel uneasy.)

If I have been unclear at all, please ask for clarification or specifics.


Yep - I'm very much like that. From what I can make out I'm "SASC" - or Socially Anxious Social Communicator - which looks to incorporate a degree of something similar to a type of paranoia.


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aspardon
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16 Jun 2011, 11:14 pm

im sure this applies to NT as well though



oldmantime
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16 Jun 2011, 11:21 pm

maybe you're just uncomfortable around lots of people you don't know and this is just a manifestation of that. have you had bad experiences with people?

do you think that perhaps your exaggerating your description of your emotional response? if this happens constantly and interferes with your functioning then it's a problem. if not, then stop worrying about it and turn your attention to something else.

have you ever been mugged or anything like that?

it might be an extension of you feeling that your different and therefore somehow judged as inferior to others. need more info.



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16 Jun 2011, 11:57 pm

"Rather than recognise that people have thoughts about each other in mostly benign ways, the SASC is often highly concerned about ANY thoughts another person is having, even if the SASC logically understands that he or she also routinely has small thoughts about others when around people."


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Sweetleaf
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17 Jun 2011, 12:42 am

oldmantime wrote:
maybe you're just uncomfortable around lots of people you don't know and this is just a manifestation of that. have you had bad experiences with people?

do you think that perhaps your exaggerating your description of your emotional response? if this happens constantly and interferes with your functioning then it's a problem. if not, then stop worrying about it and turn your attention to something else.

have you ever been mugged or anything like that?

it might be an extension of you feeling that your different and therefore somehow judged as inferior to others. need more info.


It does not sound like an exagerration to me, because I know how hard it can be to ignore...I usually have to try and get to my college classes early so I can get a seat where no one can sit behind me, otherwise it will make me too uncomfortable to focus on the class...which is probably not good but there not much I can do about it.



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17 Jun 2011, 1:09 am

It's not quite that extreme for me (I can tolerate it once I get my mind off of it), but I totally understand the feeling. When I'm eating somewhere public I always avoid sitting at an open table where people will be walking by immediately behind me. Back to the wall or secluded near a window or corner is the most comfortable. It's almost like a kind of primal animal instinct to feel uncomfortable with "exposure". Cold drafts in the middle of a room also bother me.



LadySera
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17 Jun 2011, 2:47 am

I have social anxiety and my big thing is that I don't like people sneaking up behind me. When my dog was first fully grown I used to yell at him (he weighs about 100lb) because I would hear him walk up behind me when I'm working at my desk & I thought he was a person. I also think that my insomnia is worse because of this because I was forced to move my bed to a spot in my room where the door is right next/behind me & I seem to be sleeping way less. (I used to have the bed from where I could see the door.).



DaniC
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06 Mar 2013, 10:33 am

As a computer technician, a newly created position at my company, I don't have my own designated work area (yet); hopefully I will get a cubicle, office, or workshop soon.

I work in an open area at my workplace near the photographers and special publications editors (I work at a newspaper). I hate it because I sit all the way in the front of my area, and everyone else in my immediate area sits behind me. My boss's office is right next to my desk, and he has a window with no blinds.

Between my boss and all the people behind me, I feel a constant piercing glare on me for about 8 hours out of the day. When I get a chance, I escape to the server room, to the IT cage in the basement, or to a vacant cubicle that has a bunch of remote desktop PCs in it (which is a waste of a cubicle if you ask me; why can't that be my cubicle?!).

If I am "off my game" I cannot cope with the irrational thoughts. My social anxiety gets the best of me and I can't even do my job. Sometimes, while I am in the server room I go behind the server rack and cry. Sometimes I just let it out, and other times I force it. It's almost the same feeling as purging after eating too much. At the time it feels like it will help, but it never really does. It usually only makes me feel worse; I get paranoid that everyone knows I just got done crying, and then my anxiety worsens.

Sometimes, I just don't know what to do. When I am well-organized and following a good routine, I can turn the burning stares down from a blue-hot flame to a small pilot light; and I can focus on doing my job.

However, ever since I let other people ruin my routine over the Christmas holiday, I have been unable to get back into a routine. My whole life feels like chaos; and when I come to work the only thing on my mind is how to get back on track. Every week I start to get back on track by Wednesday, but then my fiance ruins it by screwing up my schedule on the weekend.

He works at a stupid bank that is open 7 days a week; so sometimes he works weekends and sometimes he doesn't. Sometimes he works until 5:30 and sometimes he works until 8:30, depending on how many accounts they are behind this month. Hell, sometimes he comes home at 2:30 saying, "We were overstaffed today."

I never know what to expect, and it ruins every baby-step of progress I made during the previous week; and then on Monday I start all over again.

I know I have gotten off topic, but it is where my thought process has led me.

My point is, I guess, that the stares do not burn as much if I stick with my routine. When I stick to my routine, I can more easily and calmly tell myself that they are not really staring at me; and if they are...well then, they are just being rude.

Maybe this will be true for others also.