Page 1 of 2 [ 27 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

nemorosa
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Aug 2010
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,121
Location: Amongst the leaves.

28 Jul 2011, 4:32 am

I like to be alone and I never feel lonely. The only people I would miss are my partner and children, but even with them I need lots of space or we all suffer for it. Before I had my family I could have gone weeks without contact with anyone and never cared in the least.



iSpeedy
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2011
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 77
Location: USA

28 Jul 2011, 5:01 pm

littlelily613 wrote:
iSpeedy wrote:
I prefer to be alone, in my room or whatever little corner I can stake out for myself, and do things by myself. But at the same time I get lonely. Sometimes very lonely. And sad. When I do socialize a little I quickly want to retreat. I seem to be getting worse over time not better. Does any one else feel like everyone is looking at them, that people's eyes are shooting like darts into them?


I am practically the same way. I have no motivation to seek friendship--to go out with acquaintances and such. I am generally either with family members or alone. And I am almost always off in my own little world. At the same time, I feel like I should feel lonely and that if I do not make friends, I will someday be alone forever. So I do tend to get lonely even though my brain also tells me that I don't want to be with other people.


I'm afraid too that I need to make friends so I won't be alone forever. Im lucky to have a family and brothers and sisters who care for me but they have "normal" lives and mine is certainly not. Although it's normal for me. I'm afraid of making real friends too because I've been hurt so much in the past by kids at school etc. You all probably understand, or have been there, the teasing, bullying, being tricked easily. I'm grown now but still I watch how people are with each other and I mostly want no part of it. Small doses is good you guys are right. People think I am funny and they do pay attention to me a lot because I am different. They see good qualities in me, that I'm honest, full of information, quick witted and "a refreshing change" from most people. They also use me as their human dictionary haha. Wow now im thinking positively. Nice.



Tequila
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Feb 2006
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,897
Location: Lancashire, UK

28 Jul 2011, 5:05 pm

I think this counts for a lot of us, TBH.



LuckyLeft
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 203
Location: Southeast Georgia, United States

28 Jul 2011, 5:07 pm

Tequila wrote:
I think this counts for a lot of us, TBH.


_________________
There's no Heavier Burden than a Great Potential! - Linus


LornaDoone
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jul 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 200
Location: Canada

28 Jul 2011, 5:31 pm

izzeme wrote:
i myself indeed prefer to be alone a lot of the time; yet i feel lonely even during 'recharge' and often even during socialisation.
however; i figured out the deeper cause of this lonelyness; it's not a lack of social contact, but a deeper lonelyness, the lack of someone to share my deepest feelings with.
even when i'm with friends, i can't really share my true self with them, so i still feel lonely...


Have you tried to talk to maybe one person? Just a small little bit and see how it goes?


_________________
6 year old boy with PDD-NOS
7year old girl with ADD, but has been very manageable
Me: Diagnosed bi-polar, medicated for 20 years now.


Kiseki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,604
Location: Osaka JP

28 Jul 2011, 10:51 pm

I get like this too and then my friends think I'm totally weird because I make no sense.

I also find that, when I DO go and hang out with people-due to loneliness- I only wind up feeling more alone. It's like I realize how much I don't fit in with them and how much I'd rather just go back to my house.

It is hard to be this way :(


_________________
Your Aspie score: 161 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 55 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


Kiseki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,604
Location: Osaka JP

28 Jul 2011, 10:54 pm

Verdandi wrote:
There are times when I want to talk to someone else about a particular topic, and it's frustrating if I can't find anyone to discuss the topic. One of the people I go to with some of those thoughts is extremely variable as to response times, but then so am I.

And when I've had crushes on some people, I did miss them when they weren't around. But I didn't want to be around people in general so much as a specific person. And I didn't really want a relationship, although I was sure I was supposed to want a relationship.

This may be why I usually only seek people out when I have a specific need.


Wow, do I relate to that. I try to explain to people why I have no desire for a long-term relationship and they cannot understand at all. Yet, at the same time, I really long to have a soulmate I can discuss all sorts of deep stuff with.


_________________
Your Aspie score: 161 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 55 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


Verdandi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2010
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,275
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)

28 Jul 2011, 11:00 pm

Kiseki wrote:
Wow, do I relate to that. I try to explain to people why I have no desire for a long-term relationship and they cannot understand at all. Yet, at the same time, I really long to have a soulmate I can discuss all sorts of deep stuff with.


Yeah, it's nice to have someone you can talk to about really esoteric and deep things.

I was kind of surprised to learn that people really do think not having a relationship is a horrible fate. I can't even imagine what it would be like for that to be one of my major problems.

Then again, it might be advantageous given how much trouble I have on my own, to have that kind of support. But I also know that being around someone that much is extremely stressful for me.



Kiseki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,604
Location: Osaka JP

28 Jul 2011, 11:06 pm

Verdandi wrote:

I was kind of surprised to learn that people really do think not having a relationship is a horrible fate. I can't even imagine what it would be like for that to be one of my major problems.

Then again, it might be advantageous given how much trouble I have on my own, to have that kind of support. But I also know that being around someone that much is extremely stressful for me.


I understand completely. I wish I could just have a person around at night while I am sleeping :lol: Otherwise, I need my alone time and space.


_________________
Your Aspie score: 161 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 55 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


kt24
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jan 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 156
Location: a world of my own

30 Jul 2011, 3:48 am

Found this a while ago- kind of sums up my thoughts.

"Loneliness isn't the same thing for those who are
solitary....Being alone is no problem for us at all.
By ourselves on a mountain, in a great forest, or
out on the sea, we're happiest, for those are
places where we feel at home. It's when we're
surrounded by people who don't understand us
and won't accept that we can't be like them, that
we feel what we call loneliness."


_________________
Depression, GAD, Social Anxiety and unidentified mental health issues too
And now OFFICIALLY DIAGNOSED!


identity
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Mar 2011
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,555
Location: South West UK

30 Jul 2011, 8:09 am

Yep I have this problem. I also find that when I am with people I sometimes feel more alone.
Here's a quote that seems rather apt;
"Real lonliness is not necessarily limited to when you are alone" Bukowski.

I think it's because I find it so hard to connect with people; I always feel that there's a pane of glass between me and others and I can't really be myself anyway. Recently I have begun to wonder if I will ever be able to make a mutual connection with someone and if I did would I even be aware of it?



izzeme
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Apr 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,665

30 Jul 2011, 8:47 am

LornaDoone wrote:
izzeme wrote:
i myself indeed prefer to be alone a lot of the time; yet i feel lonely even during 'recharge' and often even during socialisation.
however; i figured out the deeper cause of this lonelyness; it's not a lack of social contact, but a deeper lonelyness, the lack of someone to share my deepest feelings with.
even when i'm with friends, i can't really share my true self with them, so i still feel lonely...


Have you tried to talk to maybe one person? Just a small little bit and see how it goes?


i did, on several occasions.
the only result was that they could not see from my shoes, and thought i was making stuff up (even my psycologist said that the first session), so it only made the feelings worse...