Page 1 of 1 [ 10 posts ] 

diekzfailz
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 10 Jul 2015
Age: 41
Posts: 3

10 Jul 2015, 8:53 am

Hi,

I'm new here and this is my first post, my name is Rita and I would like to know if there’s any possibility that I have Asperger’s, I know the diagnosis must be done by a professional but I can’t decide whether to go or not.
I know I am different to what is called normal people (or what I think of normal haha), well I have always felt different and don’t really fit anywhere but my world and small group of friends. From what I’ve read about Asperger, there are some traits in my personality but not all of them.
I have always been a quiet person, since I was a child people always told my parents or the people who were with me oh she’s so quiet or you’re so shy and when I was a kid I always wondered how do they know? They just met me and also don’t understand what topics people is expected to talk at first meeting (aside from your name or all the basics)I also always wonder do people talk that much? or how to continue a conversation.
Anyway I hardly ever bother in engaging in small talk or chit chat (unless is someone I really care like my mother or a friend) the topics people usually talk are so uninteresting that my mind often starts wandering off without me realizing it till I come back to the conversation and realize that I have not talked in a while. For the same reasons I’m socially awkward and it’s really hard for me to be social and meeting knew people. I don’t like it and often I have to prepare “my mind” when there’s no way of avoiding it in order to not to close myself off. There have been occasions where I’m not prepared for the event and I isolate myself in some dark corner or just ignore everyone.
I also go through states where I’m “social” meaning I speak a bit more than I use to, and the states where I’m “in me” where nobody else can enter, I love being with myself or doing things alone. Crowds or any ocassion where there are more than 10 people overwhelms me and feel really bad. It's like they are tuned in a radio station that is not mine and their noise distresses me so I have to locked my mind in me...
I tend to obsess for certain things, for example if I get interested in the causes which started WWI I start researching and read and read and read about the topic until I get satisfied by all what I’ve gathered and then stop. I also obsess over tv shows that I like. I’ve been a fan of one of them for over 20 years I have merchandising, all the seasons, gone to ComicCons etc. I met my only two close friends because of it!
I have a mental daily routine in my head that I must follow religiously if not It’s really disruptive and makes me feel anguished, I can change it but I have to know in advance preferably two days prior to the event.
In general, I don’t really care much for people, unless you’re a beloved one. I feel empathy and do understand people’s intentions and attitudes. I also understand between the lines meanings and love sarcasm I’m really sarcastic and people often found my jokes unpleasant because of it.
I have never been in a relationship (I'm 33 years old), not even kissed someone. I haven’t feel attracted to no one in real life and never really tried to date. Now just the thought of it disrupting my routine makes me cringe, I don’t think eternal love exists and nobody would put up with me anyway.
My mother has accused me of being too harsh and cold regarding certain topics and sometimes I say things that later regret saying because they hurt feelings.
Well that’s all I remember for now what do you think?



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

10 Jul 2015, 8:56 am

It's possible. You seem to have some of the features.

You seem like a nice person.

Even if you don't happen to have Asperger's, you're more than welcome on WP!

Do you want accommodations for school or work?

This reminds me of my "Eureka" moment which occurred around 1990-ish. I had read the work of Hans Asperger--and the concept of Asperger's was starting to be presented in more mainstream media.

When I read the specific symptoms, it struck me: that's me!

I was actually diagnosed with autism around age 3, and "brain-damage/injury" around age 4.

But, in essence, whether or not you have Asperger's doesn't change you as a person.



Adamantium
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Feb 2013
Age: 1024
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,863
Location: Erehwon

10 Jul 2015, 10:02 am

diekzfailz wrote:
I would like to know if there’s any possibility that I have Asperger’s, I know the diagnosis must be done by a professional but I can’t decide whether to go or not.


Kraftie is right: you are who you are and a diagnosis doesn't change that.

I think you should ask yourself if you need to know. If you know that you won't be able to stop thinking about it until you get a professional opinion, one way or the other, then you should get assessed.

If you need some kind of accommodations to live, study or work, and if there is some mechanism to provide such accommodations for those with a diagnosis, then you should get assessed.

If neither of these is true, then why bother? You are probably already getting whatever benefit there is in self understanding just by recognizing that you have some of the traits.



StarTrekker
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,088
Location: Starship Voyager, somewhere in the Delta quadrant

10 Jul 2015, 10:32 am

You sound like you could have it; there are traits that fit both AS and strong introversion. Testing is expensive, but if, like me, you decide you need closure and a "real answer" to move forward effectively with your life, it's worth it. All of the inner turmoil and mental stress I experienced for three years pinballing back and forth between "I'm autistic" and "No I'm not" vanished the day I got my diagnosis, and I'm much happier now. If you're satisfied just having found the explanation for yourself however, and you don't want specific accommodations, there's little point in spending $500-$2000 on a diagnosis (assuming you live in the US).


_________________
"Survival is insufficient" - Seven of Nine
Diagnosed with ASD level 1 on the 10th of April, 2014
Rediagnosed with ASD level 2 on the 4th of May, 2019
Thanks to Olympiadis for my fantastic avatar!


diekzfailz
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 10 Jul 2015
Age: 41
Posts: 3

10 Jul 2015, 11:48 am

Thanks for the answers!

I had read about Asperger's in the past and thought I could have it but dismissed the thought immediately and it wasn't until this year when my nephew started preschool and teacher told my sister there was a possibility he might have the condition because of the way he behaves (my sister took him to a doctor and he said he was fine), it was then that I started reading more and more and started to think back to my childhood, puberty, my life in general and really started to believe I have it like I said I'm always analyzing my actions and why do I behave like this or that. Knowing would give me a sense of closure and be able to move forward and finally accept who I am.
I'm not from the US so I have no idea how much the diagnosis would costs or where to go to get tested my nephew was taken to a neurologist.



ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,245
Location: Long Island, New York

10 Jul 2015, 2:51 pm

Rita, welcome to wrong planet.

As others have said you seem to have several important traits and you do have a need to know/need for validation for what you are thinking. Wrong Planet has a members from all over the world so it is very possible if you state what country you are from somebody here will know about the process of getting a diagnosis in your country.


_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman


diekzfailz
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 10 Jul 2015
Age: 41
Posts: 3

13 Jul 2015, 7:30 am

I live in Chile. I guess is unlikely there's someone else, English is not even our first language. I have reseached on line and there a couple of sites for Asperger's in children. I'll ask them if they have information about the process in an adult :wink:



SocOfAutism
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Mar 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,848

13 Jul 2015, 8:04 am

I think the lines of where the autism spectrum ends and everybody else begins are already starting to blur, which is kind of unfortunate for the autism acceptance movement. I also don't think there's anything wrong with acknowledging that you're different and that everyone else is more or less the same. That's not so much a politically correct thing to say anymore. People like to say that "no one is normal" which is impossible.

The characteristics you described sound very much in line with those of an autistic woman. I haven't read enough to recommend a particular book over another, but so far I like Women and Girls with Autism Spectrum Disorder: Understanding Life Experiences from Early Childhood to Old Age by Sarah Hendrick. You could also check out some online self tests. I suggest taking two or three of them. Women test as being "more neurotypical" than men, so keep that in mind.

What you describe about not being interested in romance sounds like asexuality to me. I think there's more information about this in the Adult Issues section on Wrong Planet, but if not, you could google it. Asexuality is a normal "orientation" where instead of being interested in your own gender or the opposite gender, you're just not interested at all and would prefer not to have a romantic relationship.

I encourage you to keep finding out more about all this stuff. If you have accepted categories that you feel are a good fit, you will have new ways to explain things to those around you, and they are more likely to accept you the way you are and stop trying to change you into something else. If a person understands a butterfly is a butterfly, she'll stop trying to make her act like a moth, you know?



iliketrees
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Mar 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,155
Location: Earth

13 Jul 2015, 8:14 am

diekzfailz wrote:
she’s so quiet or you’re so shy and when I was a kid

That and quite a lot of things you've said are relatable for me and I'm getting tested so there's that. Even if you're not you do have a lot of its traits so I think you definitely should research into it. I don't know of any resources in your language or for your country though. Good luck anyway. :)



ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,245
Location: Long Island, New York

13 Jul 2015, 11:20 am

SocOfAutism wrote:
What you describe about not being interested in romance sounds like asexuality to me. I think there's more information about this in the Adult Issues section on Wrong Planet, but if not, you could google it. Asexuality is a normal "orientation" where instead of being interested in your own gender or the opposite gender, you're just not interested at all and would prefer not to have a romantic relationship.


There are aromantic people which is not necessarily the same as being asexual.


_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman