An obsession that you DON'T want to be obsessed with?

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MiatheMutant
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07 May 2012, 8:11 pm

ddanne wrote:
Yes, last year I had the worst obsession: Serial killers.
Which led me to the psychologist, and then I got the diagnosis.
I have an obsession with the number 18 since about 5 or 6 years ago.
I'm trying not to think about it, because I get extremely... odd, and if it's in public, WORSE. I get the classic autism look: writing the number, while rocking, while talking to myself, and sometimes humming. I can't hear anything but what is inside my head. My sister worries very much when it happens. I wish I could erase this obsession too.
My obsessions tend to be too extreme.


I have the serial killer obsession, too. I think it's wonderful, if only because there's plenty of material available about it and it can easily branch off into something else if I start to get bored. It's also fun to sit on a bench at my university and compare the people who walk by with murderers I've read about. I have some amazing hobbies. :lol:


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07 May 2012, 10:08 pm

Sometimes I go through phases when I wish I wasn't obsessed with my main special interest, Tim Burton & Johnny Depp movies, anymore. Sometimes I get frustrated to the point of tears that nothing else I try to get into really "clicks" with me. These phases typically last a few days to a few weeks.

It makes no sense as to why this happens, especially considering that the rest of the time, I am perfectly happy with my interest. However, I think I have a pretty good guess as to why:

There were two specific, unrelated incidents that happened either last year or the year before in which I treated other people with similar interests in a mean, nasty way - on this very website, no less. In both of these incidents, I started feeling remorse immediately after hitting the "send" button. The more I thought about it, the less justification I had for behaving that way. I apologized profusely to one of them, but was so ashamed of the way I behaved that I haven't made an attempt to apologize to the other.

Many times when I do something related to Johnny Depp - from using avatars of him, to watching his movies, to even just thinking about him - I start thinking of the way I treated those other Johnny Depp fans on this website. My mom says that I keep reliving the embarrassment of behaving inappropriately. She says that this embarrassment is helping to keep me from behaving like that in the future.

But I also think that these feelings of shame and embarrassment are also preventing me from fully enjoying my special interest and making the most out of it. I feel like I don't deserve to enjoy this interest anymore. If Mr. Depp himself knew the way I had treated other fans of his, he'd be very disappointed in me, to say the least.



Lawamei
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08 May 2012, 4:27 am

College. Seriously. I am obsessed with colleges right now, so much that I'm not doing *homework* or projects in favor of spending hours every day to research colleges (how amusing)- which isn't that unusual, except that this has been going on for a while. I'm spending all my time thinking about colleges.



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08 May 2012, 5:43 am

ddanne wrote:
Yes, last year I had the worst obsession: Serial killers.
Which led me to the psychologist, and then I got the diagnosis.
I have an obsession with the number 18 since about 5 or 6 years ago.
I'm trying not to think about it, because I get extremely... odd, and if it's in public, WORSE. I get the classic autism look: writing the number, while rocking, while talking to myself, and sometimes humming. I can't hear anything but what is inside my head. My sister worries very much when it happens. I wish I could erase this obsession too.
My obsessions tend to be too extreme.


Yup, I've been through a murder phase as well. More specifically, the murder of young children. I even had "favourite" cases.
I remember one time I went with my Dad to buy a Christmas tree, and as the guy was putting it through the baler, I said something like, "That would be good for putting bodies in because it would stop their arms and legs flapping around". They both just stared at me and I realised I'd said something weird, so I tried to clear it up by adding, "I mean dead bodies".
I still cringe when I think about it. :wink:



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08 May 2012, 6:57 am

ddanne wrote:
Yes, last year I had the worst obsession: Serial killers.


I've had this obsession since I was at least 12. I'm now 23 and still have it.

It's nice to know I'm not alone in having this obsession.



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08 May 2012, 10:20 am

Guineapigged wrote:
"I mean dead bodies".
Hehe, I love that comeback! :-)


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08 May 2012, 10:26 am

I've never had more than a mild interest in serial killers, but for a godawful long time I was convinced I would become one, talk about unwanted obsession. I'm more of a mafia buff but that interest is enjoyable

(Once I was watching a slasher movie with a cousin, and the creep was getting his murder tools ready. My cousin said "what's the matter with him, wouldn't he rather be riding his motorcycle or playing his guitar?" I felt the same thing, so I thought 'maybe I'm not such a wacko after all')



Zinia
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08 May 2012, 11:26 am

I also tend to be obsessed with serial killers. But it's not like I want to emulate them or anything--it's just interesting to try to understand how a predator sees other humans as prey. Plus, I'm convinced that I've been in a R with someone who's mildly psychopathic, and now I feel like I have to be able to identify psychopaths. I used to worry that I might be a psychopathic killer (a soon-to-be), but through my research I have realized that that's not possible. I generally dislike violent psychopaths, but I still have a fascination with them.



ddanne
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08 May 2012, 11:36 am

Guineapigged wrote:

Yup, I've been through a murder phase as well. More specifically, the murder of young children. I even had "favourite" cases.
I remember one time I went with my Dad to buy a Christmas tree, and as the guy was putting it through the baler, I said something like, "That would be good for putting bodies in because it would stop their arms and legs flapping around". They both just stared at me and I realised I'd said something weird, so I tried to clear it up by adding, "I mean dead bodies".
I still cringe when I think about it. :wink:


I know what you mean xD. I've always been very quiet... so I never had that kind of troubles, but now I remember something, and it's very funny. In 2009 (because I forgot how to say the last year of the first part of high school), my maths teacher, wasn't coming to school because her father died. Of course I was glad, not for the death, but for going home early. One month later, she wasn't showing up again, and I said something like: "Please tell me her mother just died". My classmates stared at me and Then yelled "NO!" one friend said : "are you crazy?" Oh damn, that was so embarrassing...

MiatheMutant wrote:
I have the serial killer obsession, too. I think it's wonderful, if only because there's plenty of material available about it and it can easily branch off into something else if I start to get bored. It's also fun to sit on a bench at my university and compare the people who walk by with murderers I've read about. I have some amazing hobbies. :lol:


Reading about serial killers is such an amazing hobby !

But l write, I write until I'm done with my thoughts and feel tired of blinking. Last year, I suffered the worst bullying I could ever imagine. I was so depressed and that obsession "ate" me. I was constantly thinking about serial killers, and scenarios. I thought I was going crazy, but it was all mixing up inside my poor head. I wrote a blog describing the feelings that if I was a serial killer I would use to kill. Sadly, one of my classmates found it out, and told to the principal. I have a huge and notorious record. I went to the psychologist, and well... that's the story of why did I get here.


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annotated_alice
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08 May 2012, 12:27 pm

alexi wrote:
I am currently having this exact problem. My brain is just hooked on this one thing and it is really very distressing that it is following me around every second of the day. It actually began as something that I did find exciting and positive, but I need a break! I really have thought about it as much as I possibly can, and now the same thoughts are just circling.... and circling.... and circling. I am finding it impossible to focus on anything else, other things that are extremely important to me, and they are just falling by the wayside.


This describes my current feeling to a tee. As a matter of fact I am on WP right now, as an attempt to take a break from perseverating.



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08 May 2012, 2:36 pm

Zinia wrote:
I also tend to be obsessed with serial killers. But it's not like I want to emulate them or anything--it's just interesting to try to understand how a predator sees other humans as prey.


It's the same for me. Technically, this is actually my parents fault. During the early 90s (I think) there was magazines out called Murder Casebook, which my parents collected and kept in a box in a loft. I would spend hours reading them. Unfortunately, I think they've now thrown them away. They were interesting though.



Chapelo
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08 May 2012, 5:49 pm

In 1998, it was the Titanic.

Right now, I am in the midst of an obsession with the World Trade Center. Not so much 9/11, but the buildings themselves. I liked the buildings because they were simple, dominating, and devoid of fluff (I don't care too much for bells and whistles, just give me a simple building!)

I made a paper Twin Towers out of notepads. My coworkers think I'm weird (but exceptionally gifted at computers!), what else is new?



MiatheMutant
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08 May 2012, 8:50 pm

ddanne wrote:
Reading about serial killers is such an amazing hobby !

But l write, I write until I'm done with my thoughts and feel tired of blinking. Last year, I suffered the worst bullying I could ever imagine. I was so depressed and that obsession "ate" me. I was constantly thinking about serial killers, and scenarios. I thought I was going crazy, but it was all mixing up inside my poor head. I wrote a blog describing the feelings that if I was a serial killer I would use to kill. Sadly, one of my classmates found it out, and told to the principal. I have a huge and notorious record. I went to the psychologist, and well... that's the story of why did I get here.


I've been there, sort of. I would create fictional characters in an alternate universe who felt the same things I did and used them to act out things I'd learned about in serial killer encyclopedias and documentaries and the like. The thing is, though, I wrote everything in a different alphabet I created in sixth grade so no one could read it. Glad I did, too, because people continually stole my notebooks and tried to read them. I would've gotten into a lot of trouble if I'd been caught.

It's funny, you see. I'm going to go to medical school to be a medical examiner. :lol:


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08 May 2012, 9:00 pm

oh, another one: facial transplants (and the accidents that necessitated them).


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2wheels4ever
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08 May 2012, 11:46 pm

Seeing the David Kronenburg "Crash" in the 90s sparked off another round of Canadianmania for me; I had to note all the differences in cars and roads from the US. Well that and the leg brace action

I'm not opposed to film companies making movies in Canada, but for F-s sake don't film in Toronto and try to tell me it's Chicago, or pass Vancouver off as Portland



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08 May 2012, 11:54 pm

2wheels4ever wrote:
Seeing the David Kronenburg "Crash" in the 90s sparked off another round of Canadianmania for me; I had to note all the differences in cars and roads from the US. Well that and the leg brace action

I'm not opposed to film companies making movies in Canada, but for F-s sake don't film in Toronto and try to tell me it's Chicago, or pass Vancouver off as Portland

AGREED!


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